


The Start

by panromanticandlonely



Series: Steven Universe JPL AU [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crystal Gems (Steven Universe), Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:06:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 47,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24556645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panromanticandlonely/pseuds/panromanticandlonely
Summary: (previously named Steven Universe JPL AU Season 1) What if a certain Peridot was one of the original Crystal Gems? What would change? Follow Steven as his mother figures Jasper, Lapis, and Peridot teach him how to be a Crystal Gem! An introduction to Steven's life, spanning the time of Season 1A of Steven Universe.(Disclaimer: This work is part of a series.)
Relationships: Rose Quartz/Greg Universe
Series: Steven Universe JPL AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774912
Kudos: 5





	1. Twin Light Trebuchets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven has to find his mother, Rose Quartz's light trebuchets to save Beach City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was recently rewritten, so no, you're not crazy if it seems different.

Lapis flew towards the boardwalk, Steven perched on her back excitedly. She stopped a few feet away from Fryman's, hovering above the dock so Steven could climb off.

He panted as he ran up to the booth, craving a food only Fryman could supply. "Fryman, gimme the bits!"

Fryman rolled his eyes with a half smile. "You know we're closed."

"Come on, Fry, give him the bits!" Lapis protested. "The bits, the bits, the bits, the bits,"

"The bits, the bits, the bits, the bits!" Steven joined in, eyes starry. They repeated it a few more times, until Fryman couldn't take it anymore.

"Alright, alright! Just stop it! You're scaring away the customers."

Lapis looked around, and then back at Fryman. "What customers?"

Steven gasped and giggled into his hand.

The man scoffed. "And let me guess, your usual?"

Lapis nodded. "Pretty much, but two milkshakes instead of one."

"If you want, I can give you regular fries." He told Steven. The boy shook his head. "Nope! Just the bits, please!"

Fryman put the fry bits into a bag and handed them to Steven before giving the lapis her milkshakes. "Thanks, Fry! See you later!"

Steven climbed onto Lapis' back, and she took off.

"Sunset. So romantic, how the scarlet and magenta hues lace each other with vibrance. They bleed into ochre and honeyed shades so elegantly, like fairies laden with gold and pearl streaking their wands across the heavens to create magnificent spectrums of fiery bliss!" The half gem exclaimed poetically.

Lapis rolled her eyes. "You'd better not get all sappy, Steven. I've seen too many romance movies with you, who knows what anymore exposure to the horrors of nonsensical rubbish could do to me."

"I feel like being forced to watch horror with you is a lot more horrifying than true love's kiss." Steven pointed out. Lapis scoffed as Steven squinted at the sky. "Wait a minute, is that a second sun?"

"Lying about a second sun won't get you out of this conv–" The lapis gasped, dropping her whole shake. "Shit."

"It's here." She whispered, looking up to see a giant thing in the sky.

Steven had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. "Wait, what is?"

Lapis didn't answer and zipped home, Steven holding on to her sleeve for dear life.

"Aw, my bits!"

___

"Well, we're cracked." Jasper muttered. She was standing outside of the house, next to Peridot, who was peering into a telescope while inserting data into various charts and holoscreens. Steven was always befuddled by how much she could manage at once.

"Jasper! Peri! Look!" Lapis called, landing next to them. Steven climbed off of her.

"Yeah, yeah. We saw, Lazuli." The green gem snapped. "Some of us are busy protecting Earth. Where were you?"

The lapis lazuli rolled her eyes.

"Getting snacks." She replied with a grin, quickly recovering. "But look, I got you a milkshake!"

Peridot took the shake that Lapis hadn't dropped gingerly and sniffed it. "Your drink wasn't horrible. But I still prefer tea better."

Lapis snorted. "You don't even drink tea, Peri."

Steven changed the subject. "Ooh, can I see?" He grabbed the telescope. "Woah, it's a giant eyeball! So cool!"

Peridot turned away from Lapis and eyed the overenthusiastic child. "No, not cool."

"That thing's a Red Eye." Jasper explained.

"A Red Eye? Isn't that infectious?" The half-gem yelled.

Peridot rubbed her temples. "Ugh, Steven, that's pink eye. Though I'm glad you listen when I teach you."

"It's headed for Beach City, and it's going to crush us all." Jasper informed Steven, not seeming that concerned about the situation.

"Along with a bunch of humans, ducks, and mice, and other things!" Lapis added. 

"But how are we supposed to stop it?" Steven asked nervously.

"Rose's trebuchets are the only thing powerful enough to stop it, but they're both nowhere to be found." Jasper replied.

"Wait, they belonged to Mom? Then maybe Dad has them!" Steven lit up.

The three gems looked at each other for a moment, averting their gaze from Steven awkwardly. Finally, Peridot spoke up, clearing her throat. "Gregory's...... nice."

"But if he had it, he either lost it or broke it. Or I took it." Lapis finished shamelessly.

"No, guys. I bet he's just keeping it somewhere safe!" Steven protested.

"Okay, Steven, you can go ask, but be quick." Jasper agreed.

Peridot looked at Lapis. "Lapis, go with him. If Greg doesn't have it, look in your room. If you don't see them, one of my inventions you've stolen could be useful."

"You mean collected."

Peridot met Lapis's eyes. "No, I don't."

"Fine, but we are NOT using one of my meep-morps to destroy that thing." She said.

"I think we can handle it, Steven." Lapis smiled, before switching her attention over to Peridot. "Ready?" The Peridot nodded, and Lapis picked her up.

They flew steadily towards the Red Eye until they were about half a foot away from it. Peridot frowned. "Okay, I'm fine! Let me go!"

"If you say so." Lapis replied with a smirk, dropping Peridot into the ocean.

"Ugh, Jasper, just throw me at it instead!" Peridot called. Jasper nodded.

__

"Dad! Wake up! DAD!!!!" Steven called, standing near a van parked in front of It's A Wash with Lapis beside him. The beige van was spray-painted with a comet and the words 'Mr. Universe.'

Hearing no answer, he continued to pound on the van's door. "We have to save the town!"

Lapis took a deep breath and started to yell at the top of her lungs. "YO, GREG! WAKE THE F-" She paused as she realized Steven was there. "the frick up!" Lapis whispered.

"Nice yells." Steven complimented.

The lapis brushed her bangs out of her eyes triumphantly. "Yeah, I know. He's definitely gonna wake up now."

They waited a minute. Unfortunately, Greg did not "wake the freak" up.

Steven groaned as he pulled himself onto the hood of the van, pounding and shaking it. His father had to wake up, or they were most likely doomed. He climbed to the top and jumped up and down with all his might.

Just as the half-gem gave up, throwing himself onto the top of the van dramatically, the car alarm sounded. His face brightened as it shrieked and whined, turning to eye the rear doors of the vehicle, which were where the trunk would be on a regular car.

Greg Universe burst out of the automotive, with a weapon at the ready. "Who's there? I've got a frying pan and I'm not afraid to us-"

The man spotted a familiar face and relaxed almost instantly. "Oh, hey, Lapis."

"Dad! It's me!" Steven called, stumbling off of the van.

"Hey to you too, Schtu-ball." Greg said, giving his son a hug.

Lapis turned serious. "We're looking for Rose's trebuchets."

"What? Why?" The child's father questioned.

"To stop that eyeball over there!" His son told him helpfully, pointing at the sky.

Greg and Lapis looked up to see Peridot being thrown at the Red Eye. She collided into it with a big crash, and then fell in the water.

All three of them cracked up at the sight.

Steven's dad grinned. "I know where they might be."

__

"It's a shed, for storage." Greg told Steven, pushing up the garage door.

The boy's face drooped a little as the door opened to reveal a perfectly normal-looking shed. He quickly brightened as he got to work. "If I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna need some gear."

He fastened a flashlight to his head with a sock. Lapis snorted and tied a rope to him.

"Gotta go!" Steven exclaimed as he crawled inside the shed.

Lapis and his dad were all smiles. "Good luck!"

Soon, the half-gem came across a box. "Dad, I found a bunch of copies of your old CD!"

Greg smiled from outside the shed. "Oh man, I couldn't give those away. You know, before I rented the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the country!"

"I know, Dad." The curly-haired boy answered with a chuckle. "When I had my concert in Beach City, no one showed up, except-" "A dragon!" Steven cheered, interrupting his father.

"No, it was your mother."

The child giggled. "I know!"

"And me, but I was a swan at the time, so I guess that doesn't count." Lapis piped up. "Gregory and Rose were always together after that."

His dad grinned fondly. "Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world."

As Greg rambled on, Steven stepped on a frame, with a picture of his father and mother inside. He gasped.

"Dad, I broke your picture frame!"

"It's okay, Schtu-ball. Remember, if every pork chop were perfect-"

"We wouldn't have hot dogs!" The lapis lazuli and the half-gem finished.

When the two finished the phrase, two identical catapults glowed simultaneously, but only one was in the shed.

Steven happened to notice it. "Huh?" Suddenly, the boy's eyes went wide with recognition. A massive siege weapon towered over the crouching child, pale pink and decorated with petal shaped molding. It's surface was encrusted with dirt, and lotus-like spherical bullet was already equipped, as if the contraption had been waiting a long time.

Steven swept off the dust with one hand. "One of the ter-butch-ays." He murmured.

"It's trebuchets." Lapis corrected him.

"I found one!"

"Keep looking for the other!" The blue gem instructed him.

After a thorough search, Steven could see they should try somewhere else.

"Well, Steven, guess it's time to look at my place." Lapis said casually.

The boy's eyes shined with anticipation. "You mean I finally get to see your room in the temple?" The Lapis lazuli nodded. He squealed.

"I'll drive you," Greg added. They loaded the weapon into a wagon that was tied to the back of the van, and then sat inside. Greg got in the driver's seat, and started the car.

"This is freaking me out!" He exclaimed.

Steven frowned. "Can't the van go any faster? We've gotta get to the beach!"

"This is faster!" His father answered.

"Put on your dad's CD, Gemi." Lapis suggested from the backseat. The child put in the CD and started to sing along.  
__

Greg parked, and Lapis put the trebuchet on the shore, where Peridot was being yeeted at the Red Eye the twentieth time that day.

Steven and Lapis climbed onto the porch and entered the house. Lapis guided Steven past the living room and kitchen, and up to an elevator. She pressed the down button. A scanner popped up, and Lapis turned around so her gem would be visible. "Whoa," Steven thought aloud.

A small ding could be heard, and the frame rotated multiple times, before stopping so that a door with a lapis lazuli gem and water on it could be seen. The pair entered the elevator. The doors closed, and the elevator shot down like a bullet. Steven yelped and grabbed onto Lapis, who didn't seem bothered by the stomach-churning drop. The elevator slowed to a stop, and the walls turned translucent. A circular waterfall surrounded the elevator, and parted when the elevator doors opened. When the two stepped out, Steven was surprised.

The room they entered was split into two halves, the walls of one side blue, the other beige. A projector sat in the middle. Lapis caught Steven's look and chuckled. "Don't look so depressed, Gemi. Give me a second."

She switched on the projector and a familiar voice rang out. "Manufactured by your favorite inventor, Peridot."

"Yeah, yeah, Shortie. Even the recorded version of you is annoying." Lapis murmured.

Steven grinned. Of course Peridot would program a projector to praise her in her own voice.

The projector became surrounded by rectangular holograms, each showcasing a different scene. Lapis clicked on one. The room suddenly changed to look like a post apocalyptic world. Steven touched the ground, and could feel the grainy sand collect in his palms before spilling out through the spaces between his digits. "No...." Lapis murmured, furrowing her brow.

She clicked something else, and trees were all around them. Steven saw a pond a few feet away. The lapis sighed and pressed yet another hologram, and the room materialized into a different place.

This room was also split in half, like the room they originally entered. The left half was like a paradise, with seafoam green grass, ponds, trees, and a pink and orange 'sky'. A section where two short pale blue translucent walls made a corner and a small area of floor was filled with with chests. Small mechanical animals lived in trees and burrows. The scanner was still in the middle of it, too.

The other half was underwater. It looked and felt like water, but Steven could somehow breathe. One section of the half was filled with the foliage and water of a swamp, one modeled after a bay, another like the sea, and many more modeled after different bodies of water. The whole place had art supplies scattered around on the ground.

"This is your room in the temple?" The chubby preteen queried in awe.

"Yup, and I know just where to find the other trebuchet."

__

"Come on, Dad!" Steven called. He and Lapis were pushing one trebuchet towards the other Crystal Gems, and the boy wanted his dad to be a part of this mission. Greg followed, helping the two transport the other siege weapon.

Finally spotting them, Jasper looked at the three curiously, and her eyes widened when they started to wheel the trebuchets over, still attached to the van. Peridot looked up from where she had ended up when she was swept up by the tide in awe, but stood up, quickly composing herself.

"Good. You guys are here." The peridot said shortly, moving towards the weapons. "There are over one septillion possible combinations of letters, sounds, and numbers, and the Red Eye is almost here."

Lapis exhaled anxiously. "Well, then, we'd better star-" She gasped.

They all looked up to see pieces of the roof shingles breaking off and attaching to the Red Eye. Across town, Fryman's sign was ripping apart, and he yelped in vain, attempting to grab it before it flew away. The statue of Angel Aura that held their house up broke a fingernail.

"Hurry!" Jasper yelled in alarm, moving the trebuchets into place.

Steven needed guidance. "What could the password be?"

"This was Rose's, not mine!" Peridot snapped, extremely stressed.

"Dad?" He turned to his father, who shrugged. "Lapis? Jasper?" The recently mentioned pair clung to each other in fear, before shaking off each other's grasp. Lapis looked down in defeat, while Jasper turned away.

Next to them, Peridot had an epiphany.

"Steven!" She called desperately, grabbing his shoulder and turning him towards her. "You have her gem!"

Lapis rushed over, rubbing Steven's gem against the trebuchets.

Peridot slapped the lapis' hand with a smirk. "Really?" She turned serious. "It's no use!"

"Forget that. Throw me again." The green gem suggested unenthusiastically, allowing Jasper to scoop her up.

"That's not going to work!" Lapis protested.

"Oh, and rubbing Steven against two trebuchets is a better idea?"

The wagon holding the trebuchet sank into the dirt, moving Steven around, who was still clung to it. "Whoa!"

Greg looked over at his vehicle, which was pulling the wagon with it. "I've got this."

The van slid across the beach, towards the Eye. the boy's father yanked on the rope, trying to reel the van in unsuccessfully. "Never mind, maybe I don't!"

"Please work," The dark-haired kid begged the trebuchets. "Unlock! Activate! Come on! Go! Please?"

He continued. "Everyone's counting on you two! You can't just be useless! I know you guys can help!"

"Don't worry, Steven." Lapis reassured him.

"We'll find something else!" His dad added.

A wobbly smile stretched across Steven's face. "Oh, right! If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs!"

The trebuchets started to glow. Greg and the gems gaped at the sight.

"It's.... working?" Jasper exclaimed.

The petals started to open like two blooming roses, and the weights on both sunk down. The sudden decrease in balance launched two lotus flower bullets into the air. They circled each other, shining, before combining to form a pink light silhouette of a familiar woman. She struck the Red Eye, exploding it. There was a bright glow, and when it faded, the woman was gone.

Debris rained on the town. A piece crashed into the boardwalk, next to Fryman. A car was stuck inside the hole, its alarm shrieking loudly.

"Steven, you saved most of Beach City!" Lapis applauded.

"Sorry!" Steven called.

Fryman didn't hear him. "What?"

"How'd you activate the trebuchets?" Peridot asked.

"I just said the thing Dad always says."

The peridot looked at him, smile plastered onto her face, pretending she understood.

"Yes, the one about pork rinds." Jasper told her, amused.

"Hot dogs." Lapis corrected simply.

Greg wiped a tear from his eye. "Rose."

The tide came in, bringing the man's van closer to the shore, though still submerged in water. "My van!" He cried.

"It's okay, dad." Steven soothed.

Lapis nodded. "If every porkchop were perfect-"

"I live in there! I can't leave it!"

"Sure you can." replied Lapis.


	2. Twin Light Trebuchets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven uses a novelty backpack in order to prove to the Gems that he can go on missions with them.

On a sunny afternoon near the temple, Steven lounged on a rock patiently. The mailbox jutted out at an angle next to him. Jasper, Peridot, and Lapis were on a mission again. Without me, Steven thought bitterly, before shrugging the thought off.

He snapped out of his daze as he noticed a friend of his hiking up the beach. Steven bounded up to him.

"Hey, Jamie!" The half-gem called excitedly. "Do you have my package?"

Jamie the mailman checked his bag. "Did you order... a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?"

"No, I didn't."

"Oh, sorry." He continued to rummage through his bag.

"Umm.... oh, here! Steven Universe!" The mailman told Steven, who declared with an infectious grin, "Aw, yeah! This thing's gonna help me save the world!"

"Really?" Jamie replied. "It says it's from Wacky Sacks Supply Company."

The preteen decided to elaborate. "Jasper, Peridot and Lapis think I shouldn't go on magical adventures with them because I don't know how to use my gem powers."

"That seems reasonable."

"But there are other ways I can help!" Steven protested.

The man raised his eyebrows. "With a Wacky Sack?"

"Exactly!"

"You know what would save my world?" The mailman inquired. "Sign here, please."

The boy did as asked.

"My boss yells at me if I don't get signatures."

"That's awful!"

Just then, a sound like a mix between a breeze and a bell chimed from inside the temple. A bright glow enveloping everything a half foot from the house accompanied it.

Steven gasped. "They're back!" He grabbed the package and started to run towards the house.

"Wait, Steven!" Jamie shouted after him, hands cupped around his mouth. "What is a Wacky Sack?"

__

Steven threw open the door. "Huh?" Jasper spotted him, her hair littered with white feathers. "Oh, hey, Steven."

In the kitchen, Lapis and Peridot were in the midst of an argument. "Ugh, Peri, we don't need that!" The lapis protested, clutching what looked like an action figure to Steven tightly in her hand.

The peridot held an unbelievably large egg. "Yeah, we do."

Lapis rolled her eyes. "You don't even eat! And I'd never eat the giant omelet you're gonna make out of this."

"I would." interjected Jasper.

"See, Lazuli? We're keeping the egg."

"But- It's not even going to fit in the fridge!" The blue gem spluttered.

Peridot moved towards the fridge, looking Lapis right in the eye. "Yes, it will."

"Oh come on, you speak fluent Japanese-"

"I'd rather not talk about Japan." Peridot sniffed. "We all know what you did, Lazuli."

Steven looked at the lapis lazuli curiously. "What did she do?"

"They called me aggressive!"

"And then you proved you were agressive." Jasper stated wryly.

"Anyway, you taught yourself Japanese," Lapis interjected, "But you can't see that it won't fit?"

The green gem smirked. She opened the fridge and pulled out a shelf, which she dumped onto the ground before shoving the egg in. "Told you it would fit."

"No!" Lapis cried, diving down for the shelf. "My ice sculptures!"

Steven looked at Jasper, his eyes wide. "We fought a giant bird." She told him simply, as if that explained everything.

Lapis Lazuli was still grieving her sculptures on the floor. She noticed Steven and smiled. "Yo, Gemi."

Peridot looked up from the counter. "We're only here for a minute. We've gotta go back out."

"What? Why?" Steven inquired, his hopes of spending time with the Gems quickly dissipating.

The lapis opened her hands, showing him an action figure like mini statue. "We have to place this Moon Goddess Statue on the top of the Lunar Sea Spire before midnight."

"Without it, the whole place will fall apart!" Peridot added.

Lapis sighed. "Oh, Steven, you should've seen the Spire back in the day!" She used her water magic to conjure an image. It showed figures with gemstones on them like the Crystal Gems moving around busily near waterfalls. "It was an oasis for gems on earth!"

Peridot's expression turned serious. "It's abandoned now."

"But we can still save it, with this statue!" The lapis finished.

Steven stood there in awe for a moment. "Wha... That's perfect!"

"What..? Why?"

"Because, Jasper, I can help carry it for you!" He exclaimed, opening the package. "With this!"

The child pulled out the contents slowly, making dramatic noises. When it was visible for the other three to see, no one uttered a word. Lapis interrupted the silence. "It's a.. taco?"

Steven shook his head, grinning. "It's a novelty backpack! Shaped like a taco!"

The Crystal Gems shared a look.

"Aw, I blew it," He continued. "I was just going to wear it one day, and you guys'd be like, Dang Steven, That's So Cool, but this is obviously important gem business!"

"Exactly, so just let us handle it." Jasper advised.

Steven frowned. "What?" He pulled up his shirt to show his gemstone and pointed at it angrily. "I'm a gem!"

"Yes, Steven, I can see that." The orange quartz agreed, barely holding back a snicker. "But you've still got a lot to learn."

Lapis grabbed Jasper and Peridot's arms."So let him come!"

The peridot shook her head. "Eh..."

"It'll be educational, Peri." The lapis trilled, looking right at her.

"Ugh, fine." Jasper caved.

Peridot scowled. "Just don't ever talk like that again. It's annoying."

Lapis ignored the insult and turned to Steven. "Here, you can carry it in your burrito." She handed him the statue.

He unzipped the rice pocket and stuffed it in. "Check this out! Everything's a pocket!"

The lapis lazuli took a peek and gasped. "Even the cheese is a pocket!"

"I can fit a lot more stuff in here." Steven realized. "Gimme a minute! I'll pack extra supplies!"

__

Steven packed tons of stuff in the backpack, including a kite, Mr. Queasy, and a Rubix Cube. He tossed some stuff out of the bag to make room.

"Steven, come on!" Lapis called.

"We're about to go!"

The half-gem bounded down the stairs. "Coming!"

He hurried down to the warp pad, where the lapis and the other Crystal Gems were waiting.

"Steven, did you pack your whole room?" Peridot remarked.

Jasper interrupted. "Let's warp."

A thin, pastel haze swished over the edges of the warp-pad and up into the sky, one side stopping at Steven's stomach.

"Suck it in, Steven!" Lapis instructed. He inhaled, folding his baby fat in, and all four of them started to drift into the air, like zooming up a vertical tunnel.

"Do you remember how to do this?" Peridot inquired worriedly.

Steven did a slow flip. "Whoa!"

His head stuck out of the warp. Peridot scoffed and yanked his head back in. "Come on!"

Suddenly, they landed on another warp pad, far away from the temple. Steven fell to the ground with a smack and a loud groan. He looked up to see a giant, abandoned and run-down tower with waterfalls running through it.

He lost his breath. "Whoa."

"The Lunar Sea Spire." The other gems gasped.

Right on cue, a piece of the Spire broke off, falling into the waters below with a loud crash.

"It wasn't like this a hundred years ago," Lapis insisted sadly.

"According to my calculations, this structure is severely unstable." Peridot murmured, fingers typing away at a holographic computer.

Steven nodded, the part of the cliff he was standing on quickly crumbling, unbeknownst to him. "Aw yeah, that's never good."

Jasper shook with fear. "Steven!" She cried, dashing to his rescue. She handed him to Peridot. "Alright, but first, we're taking Steven home."

 _Aw, my stomach!_ Uttered an unknown voice. The peridot dropped Steven in shock, and he pulled the culprit out of his pack.

"Mr. Queasy!" Steven exclaimed, shaking the toy roughly and laughing, until Peridot couldn't take it anymore.

"Steven!" she yelled. He went silent.

Lapis spoke up. "This is your heritage, Steven. We want you to stay and help, but you need to take this seriously, Gemi."

The peridot stared at him. "Can you do that?"

Steven winked, holding a thumb up and sticking out his tongue. "You got it, dude!"

Peridot eyed him awkwardly. "...Yes."

__

"Let's go." commanded Jasper. The other gems followed suit, rushing towards the spire. They got to the edge of the cliff, the gap between it and the spire a few feet long, when Peridot put her hand up to stop them.

"What's the holdup, shortstuff?" Lapis smirked. Peridot scoffed in response.

Short Stuff? Steven thought, extremely confused. Peridot was only about an inch shorter than her. And even then, the green gem's hair gave her several inches, causing her to almost tower over Lapis.

"We can clear this easily." The lapis continued.

Peridot sighed. "The whirlpool there is magically protected by a vortex. If we try, we'll get sucked in."

Jasper threw a boulder to demonstrate. It hovered above the canyon before splashing down into the water.

Lapis cracked her knuckIes. "I can fix that."

Jasper and Peridot gave her a strange look, as if daring her to keep talking. "And how would you fix it, Lapis?" The jasper inquired calmly.

The lapis lazuli's eyes widened with recognition, and she looked away, refusing to meet Steven's eyes. "I don't know..."

She changed the subject. "So, we can't jump?"

Steven's eyes widened, and he unzipped one of the pockets of his pack. "Oh, wait!"

He pulled out two sweaters and started to tie two of their sleeves together.

"What are those for?" Lapis asked sarcastically.

The curly-haired preteen beamed. "They were for keeping warm, but check this out!"

He held onto one of the sleeves and threw the sweaters like a whip. The contraption went into the spire through a small window and out of another, making a stable sort of rope.

Steven grabbed the other end and inhaled bravely. The other gems gasped as they realized what was going to happen. The child heard shrieks of "Steven!" and "Don't do that!" just as he swung across the canyon. The whirlpool started to pull him lower and lower off the edge of the spire.

The rest of the Crystal Gems were panicked. "Steven!"

Steven gripped the edges of the sweater and put his feet on the vertical ridge of the cliff, so that the grass looked like it was growing horizontally on a dirt wall.

"Taco!" He yelled slowly and fiercely, running up the wall and getting into the tower. Steven stood proudly at the entrance of the Lunar Sea Spire.

Jasper, Peridot and Lapis gaped at him, and all you could hear were Steven's tired and desperate pants.

"Way to go, Gemi!" The blue gem cheered as she got her bearings. She looked back at the other two. "Come on!"

Peridot sighed and pulled something out of her gem. It looked like a short pole with a button on it. She pressed the button on the flexible pole, and it extended backwards, towards the warp pad. Jasper grabbed it and tied it to a pointed rock. The peridot clicked a different button, and the pole extended forewards until it reached the spire. Then the pole weaved in and out of the tiny windows, stopping when it made a firm hold. Peridot grabbed onto it and slid down to the spire, like she was on a zipline. Jasper and Lapis slid down with her, landing on the Lunar Sea Spire shortly after.

The green gem glared at Steven. "Don't ever do that again."

"Sorry!" He shrugged with a grin and started to enter the spire. Jasper ruffled his hair.

"Although, it was pretty cool." Lapis told Steven, slinging her arm around his shoulder.

__

Lapis, Peridot and Steven followed Jasper through the abandoned spire, Lapis' face growing sadder with every broken statue or carving.

"That used to be a- And that was..." Lapis mumbled to herself. She sniffled and sat in a corner.

Suddenly, Steven felt horrible. He didn't like seeing Lapis unhappy. She was the only one of the Crystal Gems who always truly believed in him, no matter what.

He walked over to the lapis lazuli and put his hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

"It's okay, Lapis." Steven reassured the gem. "Remember, the statue will restore all of this!"

Hearing this, Lapis seemed to perk up the slightest bit. Wiping her eyes, she replied, "Right." They continued through the structure, quickly catching up to Jasper and Peridot.

Steven stopped walking to eye a statue. A bust of a humanoid figure with four arms stood on pedestal. Close by was a glass polygon on the top of a fountain. It was hollow and a square pyramid, but missing the bottom face, so that water would flow through it before dropping out of the mechanism into the fountain.

"What are those supposed to be?" Steven wondered aloud.

Lapis pointed at the fountain. "I made that. The art piece is a model of a present."

"It wasn't very good." Peridot sneered, implying the gift was given to her.

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Really, Short Stuff? I wasn't the one who decided to name it Bermuda."

"Well, you gave me a triangle just because of my hair! And you were dumb enough to create a scientific phenomenon that causes ships to-" Peridot's insult was paused by the discovery of two slug-like creatures, crawling up the side of the statue beside the fountain.

"Aaaaaaaah!" The Peridot screamed, summoning a highlighter-green and yellow katana and slicing the statue in half. It crumbled, and the cut launched it off the cliff.

Lapis growled. "Hey! I made that, too!"

Steven piped up curiously. "Who were those cuties?"

The two looked up from their fight in unison. "Crystal shrimp."

Jasper stood on the steps perpendicular to the other Crystal Gems. "You guys? We've got a slight... problem."

Lapis and Peridot abandoned their fighting without a word, and they all followed Jasper up the stairs.

Peridot wrinkled her nose in disgust. "It's an infestation."

"And we've got to pass through there to get to the top." Jasper told Steven.

Steven bent over near a particularly cute crystal shrimp. It's teal and purple body wriggled. "Can't we just squish 'em?"

"Don't touch that, their shards are deadly!" Peridot yelled, yanking him away before he could make contact with the creature.

Peridot sighed and moved her holo-screen so it was visible to the rest of The Crystal Gems. "Okay, Lapis, if you distract the shrimp with a bit of flying..." As she talked, she typed simultaneously, and figures and actions appeared on her screen.

While Peridot continued her plan, Steven made a plan of his own. He reached into his pack and pulled out something.

"And then Jasper, you-"

Steven interrupted Peridot by flinging two sandwiches towards the shrimp. "Grilled Cheese Sandwich!"

The packs of shrimp moved towards the sandwiches, clearing out of the area.

Jasper and Lapis looked at each other, then shrugged.

"Well, that worked." Jasper stated, pleasantly surprised.

Peridot was frozen, mouth agape, as she tried to figure out what had just happened. "H-how did you know they'd follow the sandwiches?"

Steven shrugged, grinning happily. "I mean, everyone likes grilled cheese sandwiches."

Lapis pointed at him with a half smile. "True that." She gave him a fist bump.

As they walked up another staircase, Peridot was still very salty about having her ego bruised.

"I'm just saying," She started. "That my plan would also have worked.

Lapis and Jasper laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, Peri. We get it, you're a genius." Jasper quipped good-naturedly.

"And don't you forget it."

__

As she started to walk up from the very last step, Peridot ran in front, blocking the others. Her calculations on her screen were still visible. "Watch out!"

A wall cracked, and water rushed in, forming a river that served as a boundary, stopping the gems from getting across.

Lapis looked over at Jasper with a smirk, and the quartz shook her head. Then the two looked over at Peridot, communicating with their eyes, and she sighed. They all turned to look at Steven, grinning expectantly. Even Peridot did, although halfheartedly.

"What?" Steven questioned, clueless. Suddenly he realized what they were doing and gasped. "Me?"

The others nodded. Jasper smiled at him. "Whaddya got?"

Lapis started to chant. "Taco backpack. Taco backpack. Get in on this, Jasper!" Steven rummaged through his pack.

Peridot glanced at Jasper expectantly, willing her not to do it. Jasper shrugged. "The power of taco compels me, Peri."

She joined in as Steven continued to search. "Taco backpack. Taco backpack! Taco backpack! Taco backpack!"

Steven's eyes lit up as he pulled something out. "A raft!"

He yanked the handle, which unfolded and inflated the raft.

"Nice." Lapis commented. Jasper gave him a thumbs up.

Peridot's eyes teared up with pride. "Steven, how... RESPONSIBLE! Unlike someone else here." She glared at Lapis, who just sighed, rolling her eyes.

Steven chucked the raft into the running water. The Crystal Gems watched as it moved down the water and fell to the depths of the water beneath the spire. Steven hadn't realized that the river became a waterfall.

Lapis met Jasper's eyes, as if to say, Are you sure I shouldn't intervene? Jasper's glare answered no.

Jasper kicked a pillar so that one side fell onto the other side of the spire, creating a bridge.

Steven slumped as he walked across the pillar. Lapis wasn't far behind him. "It's okay, Gemi. No one's perfect."

"Except for me!" Peridot interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah. Except for you."

They traveled up the last staircase to the very top of the spire.

The top was flat, with a teal floor and triangular-like translucent material fencing the edge off. Steven guessed that it must've looked very regal when it was first made, but years of water weathering and erosion cracked the fence, leaving a few jagged pieces to show for it. A sloping rock sat in the middle of the floor, looking just like sand, and a white and mint green pedestal jutted out of it.

"The Moon Goddess Pedestal! I remember when I and the o.... therrrrr..." Lapis trailed off as she noticed Steven. "I mean, the-"

Peridot covered Lapis' mouth and took over. "The moon is almost overhead. Steven?" .

The boy did a salute and reached into the bag. The other gems stood quietly as he rummaged. "I should have it right here....."

The corners of his mouth drooped. "I-I don't have it."

Peridot's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"Calm down..." Lapis whispered in her ear.

Peridot breathed in and out slowly, then smiled fakely. "I hope you're....what's the word? Oh. I sincerely hope you're kidding, because there's not much time."

A lightbulb turned on in Steven's head. "I've got an idea!" He pulled out Mr. Queasy.

"Could that work?" Jasper mumbled to Peridot, who shrugged.

Steven carefully propped the toy up on the pedestal. It fell over, laying sideways. Everyone watched it eagerly as.... nothing happened. Peridot sighed.

Suddenly, a beam of turquoise light shot up from the pedestal, enveloping the moon and the toy. Mr. Queasy soared up into the sky, starting to tremble. Each time he shook, the next shake became a bit more extreme, until the toy exploded into a mass of fabric, fluff, and thread.

Jasper shoved forward, using her body as a shield. The spire seemed to tremble with fear and sadness as water filled it.

"Keep steady!" Peridot warned as the structure started to shake and crumble. Soon, the entire spire was submerged into the ocean, including The Crystal Gems.

Lapis was the first to come up, head bobbing over the ocean. She was in her element(Literally).

The other gems, including Steven, swam up soon after, breathing heavily. Water swirled through Steven's shirt and shorts, making them swell like balloons. The top of the shirt stuck to his shoulders as they came in contact with the atmosphere once more.

Steven snapped out of his joyful trance as the recent events came flooding back to him. "It's my fault! I'm so sorry, Lapis!"

Lapis shrugged. "I don't care."

"What?"

"Steven, that structure may have been important to me, but it wasn't my home. My home is with you guys." The lapis motioned to Jasper and Peridot as well as Steven. "A tower isn't worth more to me then you, Gemi. Nothing is."

Jasper slung her arm around his shoulders. "You did great, Steven. One mistake doesn't change how much we love you."

Peridot showed him her holo-screen. On it was a pie graph, split into two equal pieces. The red piece was labeled, 'Steven's fault.' The blue was labeled, 'Not Steven's fault.' "Yes. Two out of four is 50%, so it's only half your fault."

Jasper and Lapis glared at her. Peridot flushed, embarrased. "What I mean to say is, it wasn't all your fault. I mean, the builders were the ones who ruined it. They were being incompetent for not making a sturdy structure."

Lapis' scowl deepened. "Actually, Gemi, one thing matters more to me than you." She looked at Peridot and smiled. "Messing with Peridot."

Jasper fist-bumped Lapis. "Nice one."

"I'm not sure why I should even care what you think," Peridot snapped. "But if I did, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be flattered or offended."

Everyone stopped to stare at the bubbling water near them. Something bobbed up out of the water. It was the raft. "Aw yeah!" Steven yelled triumphantly.

Jasper had an epiphany. "Wait, can't Lapis just fly us home?"

"I'm too gay," was Lapis' answer.

Peridot sneered. "I'm ace, so that doesn't really count as an excuse."

"What's gay?" questioned a curious Steven. The other three shared a glance.

"Don't worry about it, Gemi." Lapis replied, letting him get on her back before unfurling her wings. 

"I thought you were too gay to fly, Lapis." 

Lapis rolled her eyes and ditched Peridot and Jasper. "Whatever. Swim to the warp, I'm out." 

"Wait, Lapis! What's gay?" Steven repeated. She didn't respond. 

"Lapis! Answer me!" He begged. 

"No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason Lapis didn't use her water powers is because Steven doesn't know she has them. Keep in mind, Steven think that they're from Earth. There are plenty of creatures native to Earth that can fly, but if Steven knew she could manipulate water, it would be much more obvious that Lapis isn't native to Earth.


	3. Steven's Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven adopts a random lion he finds in the desert.

Steven was in the desert, and one thing was clear. It was hot.

Sweat pasted his signature t-shirt to his forearms, and grains of sand dotted his wrists like sprinkles. Steven fell to his knees, panting.

Peridot seemed to feel just as exhausted as him. The part of the leg below her knees seemed like they were going to slip from her thighs, and every once in a while, you could hear slight squeaking. Steven was sure it was just his imagination, since Jasper and Lapis seemed rather indifferent to it, almost like the strange sound was never there at all. The half-gem noticed Peridot's usually triangle-shaped... hair? now flopped down a bit, as if having fainted from the intense heat.

Steven had never asked Peridot what that thing on her head was, but he had definitely wondered. He had consulted Lapis once, who had chuckled and hadn't told him a thing. She did, however, bet him a Cookie Cat that it was hair. Steven had bet that it was a helmet, and apparently, when he got home, he would need to get a Cookie Cat from the fridge for her.

In the orange-toned desert, sand walls and beams ascended and descended in a seemingly illogical pattern.

Peridot turned back and noticed Steven. "Don't climb on the sand like that! You're getting dirty!"

"Alright, alright." Steven cooperated, standing up as he brushed sand off his hands and knees.

Lapis looked up from where she was also crouched on a mound, slick with sweat. "But... this...this is how....you're supposed to...to act... in the movies."

Peridot scoffed.

"Is this the place?" Steven piped up.

"Yes, Steven. This part of the desert has become....odd." Jasper explained.

Peridot turned back to Steven. Bits of her hair puffed out, and he could see the bags in her eyes as she showed him her calculations. It looked like a bunch of scribbles to him, but he didn't tell her that. "Columns and doors are poking up without porches or walls! IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE." The gem crawled into a ball, rocking herself and laughing crazily.

Steven looked back at Lapis and Jasper, who seemed unfazed by this.

"Aw, Little Miss Perfect is struggling." Lapis laughed. "Guess ya can't solve everything with math, eh, Per?"

Peridot glared at the lapis. "Yes, you can. Science, math and logic are the key to everything."

Lapis just smiled.

"Except this." The green gem mumbled.

Lapis put a hand to her ear. "What was that? I couldn't hear you."

Peridot stood up slowly, and summoned her weapon. "Aaaaaa-"

Jasper restrained her.

__

After Peridot had calmed down, she continued. "If it continues like this, the entire desert could become distorted."

"Well, then we should probably go." Lapis pointed out, smirking.

Peridot rolled her eyes. An unknown source growled loudly, startling her. She jumped, yelping. Peridot quickly gained composure, her ice cold gaze trained on Lapis. "How rude."

"That was hilarious," the blue gem told her, snickering, "But it wasn't me."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Well, then, we'd better check it out."

Steven grabbed her arm, alarmed, and Jasper patted his head. "Lapis, stay with Steven."

"Fine."

"There, Steven, now you'll be safe." Jasper comforted him.

He smiled softly. "Thanks."

"Good luck, wet ones." Jasper waved as she and Peridot started to travel in the direction of the scary noise.

Steven looked over at Lapis, seeing no sweat on her. In fact, Lapis seemed pretty dry for a wet one. Steven shrugged the thought off as he noticed a nearby pillar. "Hey, Lapis, I'm gonna sit in the shade."

Lapis was sitting on the sand, easel and watercolors out. Steven had no idea where she got the water for it, but he dismissed the thought as Lapis nodded. The boy walked over to the sand pillar, resting comfortably in its shadow.

Steven heard a growl that sounded eerily similar to the one they had all heard before. His heart started to pump quickly as his eyes darted around. Finding nothing, he murmured "No worries," he looked over at Lapis. "We are the wet ones."

A large black silhouette caught his eye. Steven jumped up and dashed behind the column. "Laaaaapiiiiis!"

The pillar sunk down into the sand, making Steven visible to the creature. They met eyes. He gasped.

A lion stood before him. It's fur looked unnatural, like the baby pink in a dye bottle. It had wise, pale pink eyes. Though the feline looked surprisingly harmless, Steven was still terrified.

The boy trembled with fear as he inched backwards. "P-Please don't eat me!" A wall rose behind him sinisterly, trapping him.

Steven stumbled, falling into a crouch as the lion advanced, standing over him without a sound.

"Please, don't!" He cried desperately.

"Excuse me!" A familiar voice trilled.

Steven and the wild cat turned to see Lapis, brandishing her nunchucks. She folded them behind her back, placing the weapon back into her gem.

Lapis walked towards them. "You should be ashamed. Look at Gemi! He's terrified!"

The pink lion yawned, ignoring the lapis. She tilted her head curiously.

"That usually works on animals." Lapis commented. She and Steven eyed the beast as it rolled over and fell asleep. "You good, Gemi?"

The boy did a thumbs up. "But why isn't it attacking?"

Lapis looked back over at the lion, the wheels turning in her head. She gasped. "Could it be?" She whispered, unbeknownst to Steven. The Lapis shook her head. "No, no. Peri would've said something, right?"

Steven reached out towards the feline, slowly moving toward it.

"Gemi, be careful." Lapis advised, walking along with him.

Steven nodded, continuing to shorten the distance between him and the pink-hued lion, but more carefully this time. It yawned, causing Steven to shrink back, eyes shut tightly.

He opened one eye, seeing that the lion was still asleep, and calmed instantly. Lapis was kneeled next to the pink feline, and touched it gently.

Steven took a chance and began to pet the lion cautiously. "Lapis, I think it's.... tame."

Lapis agreed. "But how? And why is it tamed? What's up with her eyes and fur?"

"I-I dunno, but she seems so.... calm!" He murmured in wonder. "D'you think we could... keep her?"

The blue gem chuckled in response. "Well, we already have all of my followers." She looked behind her at a tiny group of frogs and lizards, basking in a steady trickle of water behind Lapis. "Peridot wouldn't like it."

Steven laughed along with her as they lay on the pink feline's back. A sudden explosion blasted a wave of sand into their faces. After a while, Lapis and Steven poked their heads out of the mountain of sand, spitting out clumps of it. The lion rose her head groggily, one eye open.

Peridot and Jasper strolled over to them, talking all the way.

"You really should bubble that away, Jasper." Peridot told her. "If you drop it, we're going to have to fo this all over again."

The quartz rolled her eyes with a half smile. "For the last time, Per, I've go-"

They both gaped at Lapis and Steven. Peridot glared at Lapis. "No."

"I didn't even ask, Peri!"

"You didn't have to." The peridot replied.

"But it's tame!" Lapis protested.

"You said that last time, and that bear broke the house!" Peridot argued.

Steven looked at Peridot, then Lapis. He had to find a way to keep his buddy. "No, it is tamed! I taught it to say I love you!"

He squished the lion's face to mimic speaking. "I love you!"

"Oh!" Lapis gasped, wiping a non-existent tear from her eye and clutching her chest dramatically. "How sweet! I love you too!"

Peridot and Jasper watched this with no words. Peridot's eye twitched.

She rubbed her temples. "Steven, get your hands out of that cat's mouth. You don't know where it's been."

"We need to get this Desert Glass AWAY from the desert." Peridot continued, eyeing Jasper.

Jasper nodded, grasping the Desert Glass in her meaty hands. "Well, then, it should go to the most trustworthy person." The quartz tossed it to Lapis, who caught it with one hand.

They cracked up, Lapis raising her empty hand for a high-five, as The Crystal Gems began walking home. Jasper smacked Lapis' palm with her own.

Peridot scoffed and turned to face Steven. "Come on, Steven."

"Coming!"

She nodded and fell into step with the others.

Steven turned towards his lion friend. "Sorry, Lioness. Can I call you Lion?" He wondered. "Anyway, I've gotta go. It was fun hanging out with you, and I feel like you really get me."

Lion blinked twice. Steven place a finger on the pink lion's lips, turning away dramatically and blinking back tears. "Hush, Lion. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

Lioness watched, curiously, as Steven ran to catch up with the other gems.

__

Peridot poured cake batter into a cake pan. Lapis stood next to her, without a word, mixing together the ingredients for icing. A cookie cat hung halfway out of Lapis' mouth. The Desert Glass was propped on top of the fridge.

Steven was curled up on the couch, half-asleep. A combination of Lapis' electric whisk and a quieter scratching noise caused him to open his eyes in annoyance.

"What was that?" Lapis murmured, looking up from the mixing bowl and dropping her whisk in it.

Steven shrugged sleepily. "Dunno. All I hear is the whisk."

Lapis shut the whisk off and grabbed another one. She used this one manually.

Something scratched at the door again. Steven turned over, eyes barely open. "Probably Jamie."

He trudged towards the door and opened it. "I didn't order anything toda-"

Steven gasped. On the other side of the door stood Lion, not Jamie.

"Lion!" He gushed, hugging the feline. "What a surprise!"

Steven grinned, his cheeks coloring. "You came all the way out here just to see little old me?"

Lion tried to push past Steven, but she was blocked by his hand. "Woah, woah, woah. You CAN'T go in there. Who knows what Peridot would do."

"But who cares?" The boy continued, slamming the already loose door so hard that it fell off its hinges. "Now that you're here, we can do best friend things!"

__

Steven stood at the top of the hill next to his house, smiling down at Lion. "Okay, Lion! I usually do this with Lapis, but it's time for you to try! I'm gonna jump!" The lion yawned in response.

"Alright! Are you ready? I'm jumping! Catch meeee!"

In reality, Steven hadn't moved at all. He waited at the top of the hill, watching to see the lion's reaction. The lioness ignored him and lay down on the sand.

Steven rolled his eyes, smiling. "Lion!" He crouched down near the edge of the hill. "I'm falling! Save me or I'm going to DIE!" Steven fibbed.

The lion stared back at him blankly, before yawning again. Steven sighed and stood up, trudging on the edge. "Okay, you're obviously NOT into this."

Suddenly, he lost footing and fell off the hill for real. Lion was not at all bothered, licking her paw casually as Steven dropped, finally hitting the sand.

__

"Okay, you're definitely gonna like this." Steven insisted, facing Lion as he stood on the shore, tennis ball in hand.

"I'm gonna throw this ball." He explained to Lion, pointing at the ball with his free hand. The feline glared at the ball distrustfully.

Steven swung his palm back, then forward, launching the ball into the air. It landed a few inches away from Lion, who was busy grooming herself.

"What? That was an awesome throw!" He protested. The lioness rolled her eyes.

Steven retrieved the ball and went back to his previous position. "Listen, all you've gotta do is catch this in your mouth." He tossed the ball up and caught it in his mouth, eyes meeting Lion's the whole time. The lion responded by biting the ball and snatching it out of Steven's hand.

"Nice! But not what I meant." Steven explained. He demonstrated again, and this time the lioness understood.

He threw it towards the lioness, who batted it away. She sniffed and turned away, clearly offended by Steven's demonstration.

Steven sank down onto Lion's back. For a second, he saw pink and couldn't breathe, but he assumed he was just a bit lightheaded. "You don't like this game either?"

Steven was shoved off the lioness's back as she stood up. She walked into the shallow water, glaring at a fish.

"I know someplace you'll like!" He shouted.

__

Steven beamed proudly, hands on hips. Lioness squinted at a sign with a fish on it, hanging over a door.

"Ta da!" He exclaimed, petting the lion. "It's Fish Stew Pizza! And all cats like fish!"

Hearing the word pizza, the cat looked at Steven, annoyed. She was obviously trying to tell him something, but he didn't know what.

"Oh!" Steven guessed. "You've never tried pizza before?" The lion rolled her eyes and looked away.

Steven looked inside. "Wow! This place is full. Better stay outside, Lion. We're gonna blow some minds."

Steven opened the door and stepped inside. The restaurant had the distinct aroma of anchovies and cheese. He inhaled it happily. "Hey, guys!"

Two people were inside the restaurant, both friends of Steven. Though, to be honest, pretty much everyone in Beach City was friends with Steven.

The first person inside the restaurant was a deeply tanned teen named Ronaldo. He was pleasantly plump, with golden blonde fluffy curls and glasses. Ronaldo was a bit... strange, and was going through his teen phase.

The other person was just as strange. Steven wasn't even sure Onion was a person. Onion was a pale, small child with blonde hair. He wore a white sweater and red leggings, and had a blue shirt tied around his neck. Onion was a loner who never seemed to speak, and was about Steven's age. Something about him bothered Steven.

"I'm doing fine, y'know?" Steven continued, sauntering up to the counter. "Just ordering a pizza."

Two people stood behind the counter. They shared the same dark skin and thick lips. A short-haired teen manned the register, and a middle-aged man held pizza boxes in his arms.

Steven leaned against the counter. "Kofe, Kiki."

"What are you ordering, Steven?" Kiki inquired, beaming.

"One pizza, please. Extra cheesy."

Kiki raised her eyebrow, but her smile never faltered. "You must be starving, Steven."

"I'm ordering for two." He replied calmly.

Ronaldo almost dropped his computer in shock. "STevEn'S pRegNAnT?!"

"No," Steven clarified. "But I do have a lion!"

"Steven, are you lion?" Kiki quipped.

Steven shook his head. "Nope."

Ronaldo stood up, still holding his laptop. "I believe you, Steven! All sorts of strange things happen in Beach City! You'd know about them if you read my blog, Keep Beach City Weird!"

"See for yourself," Steven motioned to the door. "She's right outside."

Kiki, Onion and Ronaldo rushed out the door.

"That's amazing!" Steven could hear Ronaldo cry. The half-gem started to nod, agreeing, but stopped when he heard, "It's invisible!" Steven dashed outside, confused.

"She's not invisible, she's pink!" Steven protested.

Ronaldo squinted, puzzled. "But how can it be invisible and pink?"

Kiki sighed. "Ronaldo, there's nothing here. Steven was just lion." She paused. "Sorry for using the same pun twice."

Kiki and Ronaldo went back into Fish Stew Pizza.

Steven shook his head. "I'm not lion, he's real!"

He glanced at Onion desperately. "Onion, you believe me, right?"

If looks could kill, Onion's would have just murdered Steven.

__

Steven trudged back home, heart heavy, as the time approached sunset. His shadow lagged behind him, looking just as gloomy as Steven himself. As Steven ambled down the beach, a sound made him stop in his tracks. Steven looked up hopefully.

Lion stood on the porch in front of the house. She scratched at the door impatiently, which had been rebolted by Peridot. Steven ran up to the lion.

"Lion! You left me at the pizza place! I looked like a fool! Then I had to eat a whole pizza all by myself!"

Lion looked at Steven and then smashed the door. Steven clenched his fists as his eyes bulged. He wanted to throw something. The lion darted inside, eyes glowing white.

"Lion, NO!" Steven shouted as he avoided jagged door pieces littering the doormat.

He charged inside to see the lion sitting near the counter. Lapis and Peridot were busy icing cakes that they didn't see her. They shared earbuds, which masked the sounds of the door breaking.

Lion stared at the fridge angrily, and roared at it. Visible sound wave blasts accompanied the roar, and the fridge was unplugged with the force. It started to tip to the side and forwards, right in the direction of the two bakers-

Lapis unfurled her wings, and for the first time, Steven noticed they resembled a dripping, transparent blue liquid. The blue gem grabbed Peridot and tossed her onto the couch, then dodged the attack herself.

Steven scowled. "What was that for?"

The Desert Glass sat on the kitchen tile, unharmed. Steven saw Lion glance at it apprehensively. Suddenly, it clicked, and his heart broke in two.

Steven walked behind the counter and grabbed the pillow before moving to the other side of the counter to face Lion. "The pillow. Is that all you came here for? This pillow?"

"I tried to play games with you, and feed you," He murmured, voice cracking, "Beacuse I thought we were friends."

Steven laughed sadly. "How silly of me. Does that even matter to you?"

The lioness pounced near Steven, shocking him.

"Fine!" Steven yelled, sprinting towards the door.

By the time he reached the front porch, tears filled his eyes. "I don't care!"

Lion followed. Steven glowered at his former best friend."You want it? YOU CAN HAVE IT!!!"

Flooded with resentment, Steven chucked the Desert Glass. It landed on the sandy shore. Steven snapped out of his trance and quickly became terrified when he realized his mistake.

As the sand shifted and shook, Steven raced down the stairs and the beach to retrieve the Desert Glass. The path he was running on was the highest part of the sand, the rest of it sunken in like craters on the moon. Lapis, Peridot, and Jasper burst out the house, shouting with alarm when they glimpsed the beach.

A wall of sand sprouted from the sand in front of Steven, protecting the Desert Glass and blocking Steven from it. A gyre swirled over the pillars.

Nearby, the Crystal Gems watched on the porch.

"It's rebuilding it's castle!" Peridot cried. She leered at Jasper. "Why would you give it to Lapis?"

Lapis shrugged. "I'm kind of wondering the same thing."

"Well, I didn't think they would be stupid enough to just toss it onto the beach!" Jasper hissed. "No offense, Steven."

Steven grinned weakly. "None taken?"

"We're coming, Steven!" Lapis yelled, her wings shooting out from her back.

Lapis snatched Peridot and soared over to Steven, about to set her on the beach. She stopped when Steven was surrounded by a dome of sand.

The boy shoved past the sand and broke through the dome. He studied the structure the Desert Glass was building. It seemed like every time the pillow would begin to form something, a sudden blast of sandy wind would scrap it and replace it. Then the Desert Glass broke it down and started to form the castle again. _It's almost like it's fighting... itself._ Watching this, Steven suddenly noticed the Desert Glass, sitting on top of a short spinning cylinder.

"The pillow! I've got to get it off the sand!"

Steven forced himself up, though the sandy winds were pushing him down.

He hurried up sandy stairs quickly, the stairs crumbling almost immediately after he touched them. Steven started to drop and managed to grab onto a nearby stanchion desperately. It rose with his hands still clutched to it. The boy screamed as the pillar reached levels that would surely be deadly if he fell.

Lapis, Jasper and Peridot were separated from Steven by a wall. Lapis punched the wall with all her might, not even stopping when her fingers turned dark blue from bruises. Her eyes flashed with fury. "The wall's not moving!"

"We have to get to him before things get any-!" Peridot shouted, cutting off when Lapis was sucked into the sandy spiral above the sand structure.

Lapis flapped her wings repeatedly, but it wasn't enough. She looked down at her hands, then folded them behind her back. A trickle of water began to rose from the ocean, before Jasper yelled, "Lapis, NO!"

Steven lifted himself onto the top of stanchion, heaving with the effort. He jumped onto another sand column, then threw himself towards a set of stairs, landing correctly. Steven had to get up quickly and surge forward as the stairs fell apart behind him. The half-gem almost dropped down 20 feet down to the ground, but just barely avoided death by hopping onto a pillar.

Steven eyed a nearby, now tall spinning cylinder. Poles stuck out of its sides, moving along with the cylinder. The Desert Glass was perched at the very top. The boy closed his eyes and leaped forward, arms latching onto one of the cylinder's poles.

He started to slip off the pole, but thankfully, a rectangular prism jutted out of it, giving him an extra handhold. Steven's survival celebration was interrupted by his handhold, which crumbled to dust before his eyes.

Steven plummeted down, shrieking all the way. His death-by-spikes was halted when something shot through the air, catching him.

The boy looked down, confused, but his confusion was quickly replaced with relief. "Lion!"

The lion growled in response, dodging the spikes below artfully.

"You weren't trying to steal the pillow, you were trying to protect us from it!" Steven realized.

The lion grunted curiously, causing Steven to turn, pointing towards the Desert Glass. A wall made of sand started to form around it. "It's there! It's putting up defenses!"

"How are we gonna get up there?" Steven wondered.

Lion turned and roared, causing multiple spikes to collapse in that direction.

"Yep, sounds good to me." Steven replied.

The lion bounded through the previously cleared path, before multiple pillars sprouted from the ground, forming a wall. She bellowed, the pink sound waves knocking the obstacles down. One fell diagonally, serving as a ramp up to the Desert Glass. Steven and Lion zoomed up the incline.

Steven grinned. "Yeah, Lion!"

In one final leap, the lioness burst through the sand tower, causing it to collapse. Steven screeched with delight.

Lion fell to the ground, Steven mounted on her back. He rolled over to catch the descending Desert Glass, landing on his butt.

The Crystal Gems stood in the wake, sand clearing around them. Steven giggled nervously, pillow in hand.

__

"You should have done this in the first place, Lazuli." Peridot sniffed as she bubbled the gem pillow.

"Well, in my defense, I forgot."

Steven met Lion's eyes. "So, I guess this is goodbye. We had some good times, but I'm sure you have other magical stuff to smash with other magical boys."

He pinched the edges of the lioness's mouth, moving it as he spoke. "I love you, Steven. I want to stay with you forever."

Steven let go of the lion.

"Really?" He inquired excitedly. The boy turned to the other gems. "Guys, you hear that?"

"Are we really going to let him keep that?" Peridot whispered.

Lapis smiled. "I mean, you kept me."

Jasper and Lapis howled with laughter. Peridot tried to keep the edges of her mouth from turning up, but found she couldn't. Soon, all three of them were howling with laughter.

Steven grinned at his new best friend. "Yay, Lion!"

He pushed the lion's eyelids together. "Wink!"

The Crystal Gens walked back home. Nobody noticed the sand moving behind them. It started to form a pedestal, then the statue to go on top of it. It was statue of a thin gem, weeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing Lion was trying to tell Steven was that cats actually can't digest milk. As they get older, they lose their ability to digest it, as they don't need to get milk from their mother. She was trying to tell him she couldn't eat pizza, because it has dairy.


	4. Giant Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven tries to get Lapis and Peridot to fuse.

Steven and Peridot sat in front of Angel Aura's statue, playing chess. Next to them, Lapis was perched in a lifeguard chair lazily, watching them play.

Steven moved his dark-square bishop near the queen, blocking Peridot's black knight. "Take that!"

Peridot kept her face straight as she eyed the board. She used her rook to capture his bishop. He gasped.

"Ugh, this is so boring." Lapis complained. "Come on, Gemi, let's go to the amusement park."

"Just let me finish the game." Steven told her.

"But I'm so bored!"

Peridot lifted her gaze from the chess board to Lapis. "If you're so bored, then go to the amusement park yourself."

"No one asked you, Peridot." Lapis snapped. "This is between me and Gemi."

Peridot scowled. "Well, maybe you should leave us alone so we can finish this game without you breathing down our necks, _Lapis Lazuli._ "

Steven gasped. Lapis and Peridot never called each other by their full names.

"Fine." Lapis replied, walking away.

"Fine." Peridot told her.

Steven and Peridot continued their game. He moved his knight towards Peridot's rook. Peridot studied the board, deciding her next move-

Something hit the board, toppling the pieces. When it hit the sand, it exploded, splashing water onto Peridot and Steven.

Peridot turned slowly, fuming. Lapis stood a few feet away, a dozen water balloons scooped up in her arms. The lapis looked over at Peridot's face and guffawed. Soon, so did Steven.

"Nice one, Lapis!" He exclaimed, high-fiving her.

Peridot's cheeks turned bright green. "Nice one? _NICE ONE_?!"

She walked over to Lapis, poking the blue gem's chest.

"You're such a SELF-CENTERED," She shoved Lapis backwards a bit, "INCONSIDERATE," the lapis' eyes widened, "Lumpy, Clumpy CLOD!"

Lapis gave Peridot a dirty look. "Oh, yeah? Well, you're not so perfect yourself!"

"Well, at least I'm not a discourteous, frivolous SIMPLETON!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Peridot's eyes narrowed.

"This is exactly why we NEVER FORM CHRYSOCOLLA!" She yelled.

"Guys?" Steven started, but he was drowned out by screams and insults.

He raised his voice. "GUYS!"

Peridot and Lapis went silent and turned towards Steven.

"What's Chrysocolla?"

The two shared a smirk, before they remembered they didn't like each other and turned away.

"You mean _who_ is Chrysocolla." Peridot corrected.

"Well, _who_ are they?"

"She's like the two of us, but mashed together." Lapis told him.

Steven's expression became horrified.

Peridot rolled her eyes. "Is water just hydrogen and oxygen smashed together?"

Lapis squinted at her. "Um, yeah. Duh."

The peridot sighed. "Analogy wasted."

She took out her holo-screen and typed something in before turning to Steven and showing him.

"Look, Steven." Two simplified versions of Lapis and Peridot stood next to each other on the screen. "When two gems are synchronized," The peridot made a joke, and the lapis laughed. "They can combine into a single, high-powered gem." The two onscreen gems did the waltz. Lapis dipped Peridot, and they combined into a gem Steven partly recognized. She had Lapis' nose, Peridot's visor, and four eyes. "Ours is called Chrysocolla."

When the Lapis and Peridot onscreen finished all instructions, they unfused and began to bicker.

"Aw, Peri, look," Lapis made a half smile. "They're just like us."

Peridot scoffed. "They were programmed to be hyper-realistic when they run out of code."

"Wow," Steven gushed. "That's so cool!"

"What, _programming_?" Lapis quipped. Peridot shot her a look, which the lapis promptly ignored.

Steven shook his head. "No, Cry-so-coca-cola!"

Lapis wheezed, and Peridot hid a smile.

"It's Chrysocolla." They muttered.

"Anyway, she's funny and chill- like me, and she's smart- that's Peri." Lapis explained.

Peridot ignored her. "What Lapis is trying to say is, Chrysocolla is a conglomeration of our physical, emotional, social, and mental traits, merged into a single individual."

Lapis nodded, smiling at Steven. "Her weapon's even a mixture of ours!" The lapis quickly returned to her aloof state.

Steven's eyes lit up.

"Wow, that sounds amazing! Do it now! Come on, form Crisis-cona!"

"We usually form Chry when it's absolutely necessary." Lapis murmured, averting her eyes from Steven.

"And even if we wanted to, fusion is the complete and whole understanding between two beings. Chrysocolla isn't two people, or one person. She is our bond." Peridot added. "To even fuse, your emotions towards your partner-"

"I'm sorry, Peridot, but I don't like you _that way_." Lapis jeered.

Peridot's eyes bugged and her cheeks colored. "Not that kind of partner, you empty-headed clod!"

Steven chortled, hiding his smile with his hands.

Peridot cleared her throat. "As I was saying, your emotions toward _the person you fuse with_ must be pure and good-natured."

Lapis hissed, putting her hand over her heart ostentatiously. "Wow, Peri, you couldn't even have been more delicate? Are you saying... _you don't like me_?"

"Ha-ha, Lazuli. You're quite the actress." Peridot retorted sarcastically.

Lapis grinned. "I know."

"I know." Peridot mocked, turning away.

A flash of light shot out of the temple and illuminated the beach.

Steven's pupils dilated. "Jasper's back!"

Lapis ran for the temple. "Finally! Someone to go to the amusement park with!"

Steven saw Peridot wince. "You okay?"

"We used to go there together." She revealed simply, before turning serious again.

__

Steven burst open the door, darting over to Jasper. He hugged her legs, and she snorted, kneeling down to embrace him. The boy giggled in her arms. "Ooh, ooh! Did you get me anything?!"

He glanced at her open palm, which held a stone. Steven grabbed it, smiling widely. "Cool, a rock! Thanks, Jasper!"

Peridot walked up to Jasper. "So, was your mission successful?" She enquired.

"I found the Heaven and Earth beetles."

Lapis groaned. "So, no amusement park?"

"We can do it tomorrow, all of us." Steven piped up.

The others nodded absently.

"To find them, we'll need to split up." Jasper resumed.

Peridot pivoted, turning so she faced away from Lapis. "Good, because I certainly don't want to work with a reckless, immature half-wit."

"You do realize it's impossible not to work with yourself, so you'd be working with one anyway." Lapis retorted.

Jasper peered at Steven, her scarlet eyes exclaiming, _Again?_ The boy shrugged.

For supposed best friends, Steven noticed that Lapis and Peridot fought a lot. He and Connie never argued like that. Though, he guessed Connie wasn't really his best friend...

"Lapis, Peridot, you two find the Heaven Beetle with Steven." Jasper declared.

"Jasper!" Lapis whined, folding her arms. "I don't wanna go with a pretentious snob like her!"

Peridot frowned. "And I don't want to work with an uncivilized trickster."

"Steven should be part of this. He can't look for the Earth Beetle, so he has to look for the Heaven Beetle, and Steven can't go alone." Jasper told them. "If we leave him with Lapis, he's going to break a limb."

Lapis shrugged. "Eh, that's fair."

"We leave Steven alone with Peridot, and she'll get distracted conducting experiments on him." Jasper added.

Peridot sniffed.

Jasper looked at Steven. "We can't leave him with me, because I have to search for the Earth Beetle."

Steven frowned. "Why can't I look for the Earth Beetle?"

"Because, Steven, the Earth Beetle is in a pool of lava." Jasper stated. "Since I can't go with you, and Lapis and Peridot would probably fail on their own, they've got to work together."

Lapis grimaced. "Ugh, fine."

"The Heaven Beetle should be at the top of the Sky Spire." Jasper informed the others, Peridot pulling lava-proof gear out of her gem and handing it to the quartz.

The pridot headed for the warp pad."Come on, let's go."

As they walked up onto the warp pad, Jasper had one more order to give. "Steven!"

Steven turned back towards the current leader of the Crystal Gems.

"Keep the peace between those two. You know how they get." Jasper winked, strolling out the door.

"Okay!" He called back.

"Wait, couldn't she have just used the warp after us?" Lapis murmured.

__

Steven, Lapis, and Peridot stood on a warp pad, overlooking a pink sky and dirt path, surrounded by vegetation.

The half-gem interrupted the silence with a question. "When you fuse, do you turn into a _giant_ giant woman?" Steven spread out his arms. "Or a regular-sized giant woman?"

Lapis groaned and stepped off the warp. Steven continued, oblivious to her annoyance. "Does one control the right arm, and the other control the left arm?"

"We're not Transformers, Steven." Lapis commented wryly, as she and Peridot walked away from the boy.

"Wait, guys! These are extremely important questions!" Steven protested, rushing to catch up to them.

The other two were advancing up a staircase to the Sky Spire. Peridot peered down at him. "They're really not."

"So many stairs... Can you guys form Cries-of-cola and give me a piggyback ride?" Steven begged, slugging up the stairs.

"No, Steven. I can give you one just fine." Lapis replied, flying down to him and letting him climb onto her back. Steven beamed. "Yay, flying pig!"

Peridot eyed the two disdainfully. "Lapis, you need to stop babying him."

"Everyone needs to loosen up and have fun sometimes." Lapis advised. "Even you, Peri."

The peridot rolled her eyes, climbing the stairs.

As Steven bothered Lapis and Peridot with even more questions while they climbed up a mountain, a rustling in bushes stopped them in their tracks. Steven fell off Lapis and plummeted a foot, landing on his butt. A goat trotted out out of the bushes, chewing leaves.

Steven gasped overdramatically. "Oh my goodness! It's an ancient shapeshifting guardian, taking the form of a goat!"

Peridot ignored the boy.

"Yeah, he's acting all innocent now, but just when you start to let your guard down..." Lapis lowered her voice, creeping around Steven.

Lapis yelled, "Boo!" right behind Steven. He screeched, jumping a foot in the air.

The lapis lazuli howled with laughter, earning multiple glares from Peridot.

"Quick, you've gotta form Cry-Ebola!" Steven shouted. Lapis' laughter quickly subsided as her eyes turned miffed. Steven kept yelling. "Hurry, it's the only way to defeat it! It's gonna kill us all!"

Lapis squinted at the boy. "Gemi, I was joking."

Steven's eyes widened, and he stood up. "Oh, right."

"I told you Steven, we only form Chrysocolla-"

"For emergencies." Steven finished, sulking.

"Exactly." The peridot finished, pulling out her nihonto and using it to scare the goat away. The goat was not at all threatened, and chewed on Peridot's hair, yanking her head down.

Lapis crumpled onto the floor, banging her fist against the ground as a wide smile spread across her face. Snickers threatened to escape from the lapis' tight-lipped mouth. Suddenly, the gem began to cachinnate, collapsing in a fit of laughter.

Steven sighed and began to sing. _"All I wanna do, is see you turn into, a giant woman, a giant woman, all I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman."_

Peridot traipsed over to Steven and Lapis, the goat following her hair attentively. As Lapis listened to Steven's childish and sweet voice, her chortles quieted. She and the peridot's eyes met.

_"All I wanna do, is help you turn into, a giant woman, a giant woman! All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman."_

Steven and Peridot scaled a ladder, attached to a wall. Lapis lounged at the top, waiting for the others. The lapis got a devilish gleam in her eye, and in a flash, she was hovering under Peridot, wings beating rapidly. Peridot stretched out a shaky hand, gripping a higher rung, and lifted her leg, too, to get further up. Lapis reached out for Peridot's leg, but just when she was about to grab the peridot and take her by surprise, a clump of dirt smacked her in the face.

Lapis seethed, grabbing Steven and flitting back up to the top.

_"Oh, I know it'll be great, and I just can't wait, to see the person you are together,"_

Peridot jumped and methodically from one rock to another as she crossed a greenish blue river. Steven and Lapis stood on the bank behind her, ready to follow the peridot across. Suddenly, multiple minnows popped out of the water, causing Peridot to fall into the water. The nerdy, no-nonsense gem was drenched, and her hair sagged. Steven observed the orangeish tint of Peridot's lower knee, almost resembling rust. Lapis kneeled at the edge of the river and high-fived the minnows.

_"If you give it a chance, you could do a huge dance, because you are a giant woman."_

Peridot led the other two across a rope bridge that passed over a canyon. Lapis smirked, and folded her wings in so she fell on the bridge, which trembled and shook. The sudden imbalance caused Steven to bounce along with Lapis. Peridot fell forward, onto the other side of the bridge, which they were walking towards anyway. The peridot stood up and walked to Steven and Lapis briskly, stopping their antics.

_"You might even like being together, and if you don't, it won't be forever,"_

The two began to argue, Lapis' eyes turning bright blue and something cerulean curling around her fingertips. Peridot yelled at the top of her lungs, and her eyes were ice cold. Steven grabbed them both by the shoulders and continued to serenade them. He never noticed the strange blue matter around Lapis turn into mist and float up into the air as she was slightly calmed. Though Steven's embrace forced them to face each other, Lapis and Peridot each turned their heads as far away from the other as possible. 

"But if it were me, I'd really wanna be, a giant woman, a giant woman"

Peridot and Lapis stalked up the hill, eyes narrowed and egos bruised, with Steven not far behind, mounted on the goat. 

"All I wanna do, is see you turn into, a giant woman."

Steven's goat strolled up to the duo, squeezing Steven in between the two. He looked them in the eyes as he sang the last line.

The goat baaaahd in what Steven assumed agreement when Steven finished his song. The goat bucked Steven off, jumping from the edge of the cliff they were standing on to a floating chunk of earth. He sprung from one surface to the other, until he reached the bottom level of the Sky Spire.

"Wait up, Steven Junior! I'm coming!" Steven called, cupping his hands around his mouth.

The boy started to leap forward, but was stopped by Peridot's hand.

She looked at him seriously and said in a monotone voice, "Steven, you're definitely not going to make those jumps. So I recommend you don't try."

"Why don't you form Christ-Ebola and fly me over?"

Lapis and Peridot shared a glance, then ogled Steven. They both held back snickers and turned away from each other, suddenly aggravated.

"We don't need Chrysocolla to get across." Peridot insisted.

"Can you do it anyway? Pleeeeeaaase????" Steven begged, sinking down to his knees and clasping his hands together, eyes wide and pleading. "It would be easier, wouldn't it?"

"You know what's even easier? THIS!!!" Lapis yelled, gripping both Steven and Peridot, soaring into the sky, and yeeting them towards the spire.

Luckily, they both safely landed on a floating piece of dirt. Peridot yelped as she crashed onto the grass, falling right on her butt. This tipped the chunk of grassy land upside down. The peridot failed to hang onto the edge of the chunk and plummeted down.

Lapis gasped with horror, her eyes turning electric blue. She swooped down, catching Peridot, and flew back up, wings shimmering in the bright sun.

Steven was still attached to the section of earth, upside down and clinging to the edges of it. His legs hung down, and a tree faced downward along with him. Roots stuck out of the opposite side of Steven and the tree, partially covered with damp soil. If Steven was sitting near the roots, he would have seen beads of water stray from Lapis' wings, and plummet down to the roots, wetting the dirt. If he had been on the other side and noticed that, he definitely would have realized something the Crystal Gems never wanted him to find out.

The lapis attempted to push one side of the land fragment downward to invert it again, but one hand wasn't enough, and she couldn't drop Peridot. The green gem whispered into Lapis' ear, suggesting an idea. Lapis agreed, and folded her wings.

The two descended rapidly, Lapis wrapping herself around Peridot so as to shield her. Steven could hardly see them, and definitely couldn't hear them.

Peridot frowned, looking right at Lapis. "What are you doing, you dolt?"

"I'm protecting you, you feral nerd." Lapis explained softly.

"I'm a peridot, Lazuli. If anything, you should be covering your own gem."

"And how exactly would I do that?" Lapis responded, smirking.

"Oh, yeah..." Peridot murmured. "Lapis, NOW!"

Lapis peeked down. "Oh, right!"

The lapis spread out her wings, overlapping the tips above her and Peridot so that they resembled a parachute. The two gems glided slowly, Lapis' dress billowing out and the end of her short braid lifting up as they descended. Soon, they had drifted low enough to see Steven, who's sweaty palms were losing their grip on the chunk, and his legs dangled down. Peridot stretched out one arm and pulled him under their makeshift parachute.

Once Steven was safe, Lapis separated her two wings and pushed them both down, launching the three gems into the air. Lapis continued to beat her wings to keep her balance, and started to fly up to the Sky Spire, pausing only to retrieve the goat, or Steven Jr., when prompted by Steven.

"Thanks for dropping by!" Peridot told Steven, not even noticing her pun.

Both Lapis and Steven were amused.

"Gemi, how's it hanging?" Lapis quipped, grinning down at him.

"I was scared for a minute, but thanks to you two, I'm _fly-ne_ now." Steven added.

Peridot groaned, while Lapis tittered. "Aw, it was nothing."

"You know, Lapis, you're so _down-to-earth_." 

Lapis chuckled softly, looking up at the spire.

"Not a thing, huh? You haven't even _fluttered_ a word."

At this point, the lapis was cringing inwardly, but a fake smile was plastered onto her face.

"You guys were really _winging_ it."

Lapis and Peridot both groaned at the pun.

"Wow, my humor must be barely _hanging on_."

Peridot covered Steven's mouth. "Okay, you're done."

Lapis looked down at the boy. "Too soon, Gemi, too soon."

"Okay..." He grumbled, pouting. Things bubbled up in Steven's mind, and one thought led to another. "You two got along so well just now. How come you're not like that all the time?" 

"We fight because of our difference in opinions. Plus, Lapis Lazuli is immature, unprofessional, and honestly, kind of crude." Peridot mumbled in his ear. 

"That's not true." Lapis snapped. She raised Steven onto her back, still holding Peridot with one arm. "I mean, the difference in opinions part was. The other reason we don't get along is because Peridot is way less fun than she used to be."

"I can hear you." Peridot sniffed.

Lapis rolled her eyes. "I know." 

__

The top of the Sky Spire was beautiful. The pale turquoise water winding along the floor sparkled from rays of sunlight, and a dome with mountains and hills painted on it and gold trim lining the bottom stood at the edge of the floor. It connected to a diagonal tunnel that twisted around the chunk of raised earth the spire was built on, which Lapis, Steven, Peridot, and Steven Jr. had just landed next to.

"How... is the.. air so... thin..." Steven panted, gasping for air. 

Strangely enough, Peridot and Lapis were not at all bothered by the situation. They remained calm, waiting patiently for Steven to catch his breath. He guessed their endurance was part of their magic as Earth's protectors. 

Steven glimpsed a small structure, and ran towards it. "Oh my gosh, it's a tiny temple!" 

The temple was very intricate. It stood on a fairly small hexagonal base, which was about half a foot tall. Decorative icons were carved on each side. Steps leading up to the main level were propped up in front of the base. The temple was about 3 sizes smaller than its foundation, but a bit taller. A hexagonal dome served as a roof for the shrine.

"And it's just where Jasper told us it would be," Peridot remarked, following him. "That means the Heaven Beetle's inside." 

"Whoa, look!" Steven peered inside a window. "It's got a little bedroom, with a carpet, and bed... and some itty-bitty glasses, too!" 

"What?" Lapis' eyes were almost as big as Steven's hands. She raced over, disbelieving, and craned her head around the same window, pushing Steven out of the way. 

The Lapis furrowed an eyebrow. "I see the glasses and bed, but... where's the beetle?" 

"But... It's supposed to be here! The probability of Jasper being incorrect about this is a mere... 5 percent! I calculated it just an hour ago!" Peridot ranted, grinning nervously. She projected her floating holo-screen and began to recalculate. Dots and lines appeared on the projected screen as Peridot computed. After a few minutes, Steven took another glance at the screen. He had no idea what most of it meant, but he could see one number circled. Peridot finished, bags under her eyes and lopsided hair. "Oh, no..." 

"What's wrong?" Steven questioned, worried. 

"I may have... miscalculated." The peridot averted her eyes, voice meek. "The probability of Jasper being wrong as of now is.... 45%." 

"What? How?" Steven inquired. 

Peridot smiled shakily. "I'm glad you asked. You see, probability is not an exact science. To find the most accurate probability for this situation, you have to factor in past experience, the subject's- in this case, the Heaven Beetle's -behavior, how long it's taken us to get here since Jasper saw the Heaven Beetle here..." 

"Look, Peridot, I know nerdy stuff makes you happy, but we don't have time for a lecture right now." Lapis interrupted. "But at least you're calm now." 

Peridot turned toward Lapis, her eye twitching madly. She smoothed her stray hairs back in an attempt to soothe herself. It... didn't work. 

"Calm? CALM?! ARE YOU DAFT? WHAT ABOUT ME GIVES YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT I'M CALM??!!!" 

"As of now, not much!" The lapis replied, completely unfazed. "Why are you so upset?" 

"YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I'M UPSET?! I'LL TELL YOU WHY I'M UPSET!!!" Peridot bellowed. "I traveled ALL THIS WAY, endured ALL YOUR IMMATURE BEHAVIOR, AND NOW THE STUPID HEAVEN BEETLE ISN'T EVEN HERE! It could be anywhere, and you're just resting over here LIKE AN UNINVOLVED NINNY!"

Lapis looked at her distastefully, and her turquoise eyes narrowed. "What is wrong with you?! Not everything bad that happens is my fault, Peridot! I didn't start screaming at you when you miscalculated, because I have enough integrity to know that everyone makes mistakes! But when something goes wrong, Lapis must be to blame, right?! I'm not going to conform to your ignorant ideals, Peridot, and I'm definitely not going to just sit here and do nothing while you ridicule me!" 

They continued to bicker, and Steven Junior started to bray loudly, terrified. Steven squeezed himself in between Lapis and Peridot, silencing them. "Guys, stop your arguing! Look how scared Steven Jr. is!" 

Just then, a large, dark-purple bird became visible, screeching and casting a shadow over the goat. It dove down and snapped Steven Jr up in its mighty jaws. Steven inhaled, shocked, and a single tear formed in his glistening eyes. "My son..." 

Lapis pulled out her nunchucks, and Peridot grabbed her knives. The lapis swung her nunchucks at the shrieking bird, but missed. Her eyes filled with terror, and Steven screamed. 

"Steven, Lapis, come in here!" Peridot whispered. 

Steven and Lapis swiveled to see Peridot crouching inside the dome. They hurried over to her, pursued by the giant bird. The bird wailed, then stuck its beak into the dome, narrowly missing the trio, who dashed into the start of the tunnel. The walls were cerulean, and windows lined them. The floor was beige, and the roof was plum colored. 

"It almost ate my nunchucks!" Lapis murmured in a mixture of wonder and fear. 

"You guys, this is awesome!" Steven squealed, to Lapis and Peridot's confusion. 

He looked from one to the other. "This is the perfect time for you two to form... Crazy Cola?" Peridot and Lapis shook their heads. "Christ Ebola?" 

"It's Chrysocolla!" Lapis exclaimed before Steven could take another guess. 

Steven beamed. "Yeah, that." 

The bird settled on the top of the dome, pecking at it curiously. 

Lapis glanced at Peridot, wondering if she agreed. Peridot sighed, and nodded. Steven's grin widened and he sat down, watching the two eagerly. 

Lapis curtsied gracefully, and Peridot bowed, both of their gems glowing. The lapis leaped into a pirouette, using her wings to help her balance and hover. Lapis outstretched her hand, and Peridot clasped it.

They moved clockwise, bending their elbows and getting closer and farther from each other as the music changed. Lapis spun Peridot, who grudgingly accepted, and then spun Lapis. They moved in a way resembling the foxtrot, rotating a bit to the right each time a box was finished. Peridot stepped on Lapis' foot, who grumbled and dipped her harshly, and their foreheads crashed together. Lapis pointed her toe, and snickered when Peridot stumbled over it.

The peridot was stunned and miffed when she almost fell, and Lapis caught her just in time. 

"Why are looking at me like that? It's not like I'm going to let you fall." Lapis grouched. 

"You definitely shouldn't, not in front of Steven, anyway." Peridot whispered. 

Finally, Lapis dipped Peridot once more, and they were bathed in turquoise light. Steven's eyes sparkled as he gaped. Their silhouettes began to form into a single person, who was gigantic. Steven saw four eyes open, the top two whimsical and the color of the ocean, and the bottom two wise and... well.. he couldn't tell, for they were wearing retro, circle-framed glasses with teal-tinted lenses.

Just before the light began to fade and Steven could get a glimpse of the fusion, the light-encompassed form began to ripple, and Lapis and Peridot shot apart, falling onto opposite sides of the dome. 

Lapis rubbed her head, before striding over to Peridot and reaching out her hand to help her up."Could we try that again?" 

"If you don't trip me next time." Peridot snarled. 

"I was preparing to spin you! I didn't know you would fall!" Lapis explained, trying to hold back her laughter. "It's not my fault you moved on the wrong cue." 

"I didn't step correctly because the foxtrot is stupid and outdated, and therefore, there's no point in remembering it." 

"You liked it in the 1920s." Lapis commented. 

"No, I liked the Lindy Hop. I never liked the foxtrot. The waltz was much better anyway." 

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Well, I didn't do the waltz because it's supposed to be romantic, and I'm not courting you." 

"You're not that good at the waltz anyway! And I would have been able to work with the foxtrot if you didn't hover in the air the whole time." 

"You know it's much easier to form Chrysocolla in the air." Lapis argued. 

The duo prolonged their squabble for several more minutes. Tears pricked Steven's eyes, and he couldn't take the nonsensical fighting anymore. 

"Lapis, Peridot, stop it! If you two keep fighting, I'll never get to see Chrysocolla!" 

Lapis shifted towards him, pleasantly surprised. "Wow, Steven. You got her name right this time."

Steven heard a deafening shriek. He looked up, panicked. "Also, I'll get eaten by a very big bird!"

The avian smashed through the top of the dome and trapped Steven inside its bill. Lapis screamed, and her breathing became quicker, quicker. She slumped to her knees and let out a heartbreaking sob.

"Get up." Peridot snapped. 

Lapis sat up, shocked, and peered at Peridot, her cheeks still damp with tears. The lapis was scowling, and her eyes were glossy. 

"Why? Steven's gone!" She blundered. 

The peridot sighed. "No, he's not, you clod! Stop being so overdramatic." 

"What...?" The lapis murmured, dazed. 

"He's not dead yet, Lazuli, but the more time you spend sitting there like a brainless buffoon is more time that Steven could be dissolving in stomach acid!" 

Lapis stood up quickly, wiping her eyes. "Oh. I knew that." 

__

Meanwhile, Steven was in the belly of the beast. Both figuratively and literally. He looked to his right and gasped. A goat's skull sat next to him. 

Suddenly, Steven heard a familiar baah and spun around. He was face to face with his goat. 

"Steven Junior!" The boy exclaimed with relief. The goat was perched on a lump of stomach covered in trash chewing something. "How can you eat at a time like this?!" 

Steven took a closer look at the thing in Steven Jr's mouth. A green and yellow beetle was clutched between the goat's jaws.

"The Heaven Beetle? Thanks, Steven Junior!" 

Steven tried to grab the beetle out of the goat's jaws, but the goat held firm. He grunted as he struggled to pull the Heaven Beetle out of Steven Junior's mouth. 

"Hey, be a good little goat and give it to me!" Steven ordered, his smile turning into a frustrated grimace. 

A loud noise reverberated through the bird's stomach. The pile of trash Steven and the goat were on shook, then collapsed, sending Steven onto the damp surface of the organ. 

Steven peered down at his hands, trying to decipher what he was holding. The corners of his mouth quickly shot up as the sight of the Heaven Beetle in his palms registered in the boy's mind. "I got it!" 

Steven Junior cantered over to the boy, hooves squishing against the inside of the bird's fatty organ. The goat attempted to seize the beetle. Steven frowned, shaking his head. 

"Stop it! You are NOT getting this bug! Bad goat! Sit! BAD GOAT!" Steven yelled, pushing away the hungry goat. "You're not my son anymore! I hardly recognize you!" 

A blade split through the side of the stomach, sending down a ray of sunlight. Steven and Steven Jr shrieked and moved away. The boy blinked repeatedly, adjusting to the new source of light. The blade was pulled out of the organ, and suddenly, Steven heard squelching noises as sharp weapons impaled his disgusting surroundings from all sides. The blades were stuck in and tore out so quickly, he hardly saw them. The only evidence of them ever being there were gashed along the bird's stomach, letting in more light until he could almost see clearly. 

Steven glanced from one cut to another, to new ones formed while he was looking away, puzzled. "What's happening?" 

A slender arm poked through an incision. The limb was teal, with brown, navy-blue, turquoise, light green, and many other blue and green shades. It swiveled around and slunk along the sides of the stomach, as if searching for something. It grazed Steven's goat frenemy's horn, then clasped the goat decidedly in its palm, hauling him out of the bird. The boy gasped, terrified. "Steven Junior! I didn't mean what I said earlier-" 

Another hand stuck into the stomach and clutched Steven, it's fingers wrapping around his waist. He yelped as he slid out of the avian and into warm arms. 

The bird turned white as soon as Steven was removed, then shattered into hundreds of glass shards. The fragments plunged into the waters below, causing massive amounts of water to sprout up and cascade over Steven, the goat, and the arms sheltering them from the rough waters, who Steven could now tell belonged to a person.

Less then a second after the water started to splash all over the floor, they stopped. Steven peeked out from the woman's arms and was surprised to see that all the puddles he saw forming under him were now gone. It was as if nothing had ever happened, the waters as calm and pristine as they had been when Lapis first flew him and Peridot up here. 

Lapis... Steven thought, recalling the earlier part of the day. He wondered where she and Peridot were, and how to find them. 

The strange, goddess-like woman stood ethereally, allowing Steven as chance to see the rest of her. The woman was tall and teal, and the remainder of her body was just as covered with blue, green, and blue-green marks as her arms. 

Excluding her colorful marks and her four eyes, everything about the lady seemed to remind him of someone- or someones. 

"Lapis? Peridot?" The boy blurted, in disbelief. 

The woman shrugged, as her impish grin spread even wider on her face. "Kind of." 

He glanced at her bottom two eyes, that seemed serious and uptight, cold and calculating... just like a Peridot he knew. The lady's top two were playful, creative, and mischievous, the same eyes belonging to a gem who liked flying him to Mr. Fryman's booth and Fish Stew Pizza. 

Steven heard an almost musical sound, and turned back towards the pool. The shards had risen and turned into miniature birds. He gaped as the smaller birds shot down towards them. 

The woman opened her wings, which seemed like liquid, like Lapis', but weren't as transparent. They were green like glass and so glossy Steven could see his reflection in them. She... They? flitted up a few inches and flipped out of the way. The bird beaks implanted themselves in the ground where the lady was previously.

The lady planted her feet on the tunnel connected to the broken dome and slid down the tunnel's roof elegantly. They went so fast Steven almost barfed. 

Just as the tunnel was about to end, the woman used her wings to shoot off of it like a diving board and land on a nearby floating field. 

"Stay back," She told Steven, placing him down a few feet away from her. 

The deity extended one arm to the gem on her forehead, and the other towards the one on her back. She tugged the handle of Lapis' rapier out of the gem on her backside, shaking her head and shoving it back in. The second time she reached into that gem, she retrieved Lapis' nunchucks. The fusion pulled multiple bladed out of her forehead gem.

The gem...gems....? threw the blades into the air. Steven winced, bracing for impact. The fusion raised the nunchucks so that the blades would crash down onto it. Just as the first blade collided with the nunchucks, there was a flash of light, and they turned into a flail with one rope. Each other blade that hit the weapon formed another rope with a blade attached to the flail, until there were no more blades in the air. 

The fusion flicked her wrist, digits curled around the handle of the flail, and sent the blades hurtling at the birds. Every single avian dissolved into dust on contact with the glowing blades, causing the whole area their flock was to be filled with shimmering turquoise mist. 

The gem turned back to Steven, making sure he was okay. The boy's eyes were wide and starry, and his mouth hung open. She beamed at him. 

"Uh... Hi! Do you... know me?" 

The fusion looked at him, stunned, before she cackled. "Oh, Steven. I know you have a hard time pronouncing my name correctly." 

Steven gasped. 

"I do!" He agreed. 

"I know you like fry bits, and riding on Lapis' back.... and..." The gem paused, putting away her weapon. She grabbed Lapis' bass from her back, which almost instantly turned teal. She began to pluck the strings. "All you want to do, is see us turn into..." 

"A giant woman." Steven breathed.

__

It was dusk, and Angel Aura Quartz glinted in the moonlight. You could almost see hints of periwinkle, baby pink, peach, and lime green. The air was so thick you could almost feel it, like a marshmallow resting in your palms, the edges squeezing out between your fingers just under your nails. 

But Steven was having way to much fun to care about the humidity. 

"Whooooooo!" He yelled, sitting on Chrysocolla's back. 

She soared many, many feet above the ground. From up here, Beach City looked like a 2-inch-doll's neighborhood, belonging to someone who had collected dozens of sets and then put them together. Steven could see Sadie smacking Lars outside the Big Donut. 

Chrysocolla cheered at the sight. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, "Yass, queen! Lars don't deserve you!" 

Sadie squinted up at the sky, but all she could see was a tiny teal bird up high in the sky, with something red, brown, and blue on it. "Huh?" 

"Hey, Steven, what's adorable, awesome, and a real gem?" Chrysocolla wondered. 

"Hmm..." Steven feigned extreme confusion, and scratched his head. "I don't know." 

"You!" Chrysocolla replied. 

Steven smiled, dots of red on his cheeks. "Aw, you shouldn't have. Thank you." 

"No, thank you, Steven. Those two haven't fused since the 1990s!" 

"What?! Why?" The boy questioned, incredulous. 

The fusion started to answer, but her lips closed tightly. She looked away from the boy uncomfortably. "They, uh- um, R- She..." 

Chrysocolla stared ahead, desperately looking for a distraction. Finally, she spotted their house up ahead. 

__ 

Jasper sank into her chair, normally orange skin now almost scarlet. She had an ice pack on her face, and held a popsicle. 

The quartz jumped up as a crash boomed. She looked up to see the door ripped out of the wall, as well as three feet of the wall above the door broken. 

The rubble covered the shoulders of a teal figure. A half-gem emerged from the dust in front of her, grinning with his fists on his hips.The figure shook off the rubble, and Jasper could tell exactly who it was. 

Chrysocolla smiled, but it didn't quite reach her obviously stressed and uncomfortable eyes. She made jazz hands. "Surprise?" 

Jasper smirked, and rolled her eyes. 

"Hey, Jasper, look what I did!" Steven exclaimed. 

Jasper gave him a fist bump. "Good job, Steven." 

"Anyway, Colla and I were talking, and I asked her why she hadn't taken form in twenty years-" 

The fusion's eyes widened a bit more with each word Steven spoke, until it overwhelmed her and she unfused. 

Lapis blinked, breathing quickly. She clutched onto Peridot, who was also obviously stressed. They met each other's eyes, then quickly let go of each other. 

Jasper spoke up. "So, where's the Heaven Beetle? We have to put it with the Earth." 

Lapis reached into her skirt pockets, pulling out a paintbrush and a stray oil pastel. Peridot reached into her gem, fumbling for it. 

"I don't have it." They muttered at the same time. They shared a glance in alarm. "Wait, what?" 

Lapis started to freak out, but Peridot patted her shoulder, calming her down. 

Before Peridot could start curling up into a fetal position and laughing maniacally on the floor, Steven pulled the beetle out of his pocket. "Wait, I have it." 

Jasper took it from him, and bubbled the two beetles together. 

"Steven, I wonder what our fusion will be." Lapis murmured. "A chalcedony, a dumortierite quartz...." 

Steven nodded absently, before coming to a realization. 

"I can fuse too?!"


	5. Steven the Swordfighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven learns gems can poof.

The day was rainy and frigid. Steven had convinced all the Crystal Gems(even Peridot, somehow) to watch a movie with him.

Lion was dozing off, Lapis laying on her fur. The glare of the TV shined eerily on all of their faces.

The main character frowned, facing the janitor, who was standing on the steps of a dojo. "It was you. You were the one who killed my brother, cursing me to fight alone forever!" Lightning flashed in the distance of the scene.

The boy gasped, curled up on the point of Peridot's hair.

"Oh, Lonely Blade, you're so lonely!" He commented.

"You think you can defeat me?" The janitor cackled, spinning his broom. "The President of the Shadow Samurai Government?" He pulled the ends of the broom away from each other, revealing that one was a blade and the other was a sheath.

"Oh my gosh!" Steven exclaimed. "The janitor is the evil samurai president?"

Lapis and Peridot chuckled. The lapis faced the child. "Aw, it was so obvious."

"He's watching from the background of like, every single fight scene." Peridot added. "It's obvious foreshadowing and implication."

The samurai stood in the rain, putting the handles of his katanas together.

"For my honor, and for my brother, I will strike you down!" He yelled.

The blue watched this, and Steven could tell it reminded her of something.

Peridot wrinkled her nose at the fighting scene taking place. The samurai spun his double sided blade like a top, and it twirled in the air like a boomerang.

"Go, do Boomerang Blade again!" The child cried, eyes shining.

The peridot rolled her eyes. "I can't believe this nonsense. Lazuli, you don't do this, right?"

"Nope, not really. I tried once, but...." Lapis stopped suddenly, eyeing Steven. "It cut me."

"Anyways, Gemi, that's nothing like real swordfighting." She insisted.

"It's just a movie, though."

Steven and Lapis turned to Jasper, nodding at her statement.

"That's... true." Peridot admitted.

The lapis grinned."But if you wanna see some real swordfighting, me and Peri can show you anytime."

Jasper shushed the lapis lazuli. Steven laughed from Peridot's hair. "It's just a movie."

He tapped Lapis, who was just dozing off.

"Wait, _now_?" The blue gem murmured, looking up drowsily.

__

"Okay, Steven." Lapis held a dagger in her hand.

Steven watched intently, sitting on bleachers with Jasper. They were in the lapis' room, which was now turned into an arena, with a tapestry hanging at the top of the bleachers. It was of four diamonds, arranged in a diamond shape. The bottom diamond was pink and had a crack in the middle, and if you looked closely, you could see a tiny vine with roses adorning it slightly protruding from the crack. The top diamond was white, and the two adjacent ones in the middle were yellow and blue.

Peridot stood next to Lapis, clutching a katana.

"We'll be using my Peri-bot today in order to demonstrate fighting techniques with different types of blades." The peridot stated.

A android resembling the intelligent gem was projected. It would have resembled her completely, if not for its paler toned metal and obvious hinges for joints. "Would to like to commence with hostilities?"

"Mhm," Lapis told it. "For _now_ , let's try... Novice."

Its milky grey eyes turned green."Novice Mode: Activated! Ready..." The Peri-bot drew a longsword. "Start!"

Lapis made the first hit, extending one leg backwards. The robot blocked her, and she leaned back on her one foot, gathering momentum. All at once, she used her wings to give her a boost, and flew a few inches upward. The lapis then pushed the dagger down with all her might, slicing Peridot's robot in half.

"I have been beaten. Novice Mode: Defeated! Intermediate Mode: Activated!" It intoned, eyes now a bright yellow.

Steven gawked at the wrecked robot, and Lapis, who had pinned it to the ground with her foot. "Wow, _that_ was... amazing!"

"Yeah, I know."

The robot healed itself, laying dormant.

"My turn." Peridot declared. "Now watch closely, Steven..."

The lapis raised her foot up, allowing the robo to stand up.

"Ready, Start!"

The bot sliced first, but its hit was dodged artfully by Peridot. The peridot swung her katana, being met by her robot's longsword each time.

"Watch the way I swing the sword, Steven. The man in the movie was _obviously_ unprofessional." Peridot informed Steven. While she continued to blab, the Peri-bot moved its sword back, then swung the blade forwards-

Lapis darted towards the robot, shielding Peridot and blocking the bot's swing.

The peridot exhaled in relief. She spun to meet the lapis' eyes.

"Thanks, Lazuli."

Lapis shifted away from the Peri-bot, smiling at her friend. "You know I'm here for you." 

The green gem glanced at Steven. "Okay, Steven, the key is to watch your opponent's moves carefully, predicting when they'll swing and finding the perfect moment to thru-" 

The android stabbed Peridot through the chest. Steven gasped, looking at her.

"Steven, calm down, I'm fi-" The peridot started, smiling weakly, before disappearing in a puff of green smoke, leaving only her forehead gem and lower arms and legs behind.

"My opponent has been overpowered! Novice failed." Peri-bot yelled.

Lapis stared at where Peridot was, sinking down to her knees and cradling the green, triangular gem in her palms.

"Is she..." Steven murmured, tears filling his eyes.

Jasper patted his shoulder, shaking her head.

"No, no, she's okay." She reassured him.

Lapis stood up, grinning as if nothing had happened. She projected a scene, with a mini Peridot in it.

"When a gem gets damaged..." The tiny peridot stubbed her toe on a Lego. "We retreat to our gems to heal." Mini Peridot did the same thing the real Peridot had just done. "We call it poofing. After a while, we're perfectly fine, and 'reform.'" Projected Peridot's gem glowed, rising up into the air, and she reappeared in a brand new outfit.

Steven wiped his tears and grinned. "So, how long will she take? Five, ten minutes?"

Over his shoulder, Lapis and Jasper shared a glance.

"It's... hard to say." The lapis replied finally. "Once, it took her a month." She noticed Steven's face turn worried. "B-But I'm sure she'll be back soon..."

__

**TEN DAYS LATER**

Steven sat on the couch, trying to watch TV, then turned it off gloomily. There was no point in watching it without Lapis. After three days of waiting, the lapis hid in her room. She only came out for tubs of ice cream.

Strangely enough, by the end of the week, Lapis had come out of her room, hyper. She washed dishes, folded clothes, mopped the floor. And when there were no more chores for the lapis lazuli to do, she stared at Peridot's gem.

The half-gem didn't understand why she was acting this way about it. If anything, Lapis should be acting normal. Peridot had apparently poofed dozens of times, so the lapis should be used to it. One day, he went to her room and caught her turning on the projector, listening to Peridot's voice that played when it booted up. Then Lapis turned it off, which cued the recording that played when it shut down.

Jasper sat down next to him. "You okay, Steven?"

"Yeah, I guess," He mumbled. "Why's Lapis so depressed?"

"Remember what told me about your quest for the Heaven Beetle?" Jasper inquired. "Lapis and Peridot were fighting ruthlessly, yet Lapis risked her life to save Peridot."

The boy nodded.

"That's because she loves her." She explained. The half-gem looked at her, eyes shiny and bright. "No, no, not _that_ way. I think."

"So, like friends, or sisters?" The child queried.

"Yeah, like best friends. They're very, _very_ close, despite their bickering." The orange quartz clarified.

"Wow, Lapis must miss her even more than us, combined!" Steven marveled.

"Mm hmm."

"I know how to make her feel better!"

Jasper opened one eye. "Wait, _what_?"

"We might not have Peridot, but we have the next best thing!"

__

"Get that disgusting, emotionless, bestfriend-poofing monster _away_ from me." Lapis ordered the boy next to her morosely.

"Would you like to commence in hostilities?"

The lapis glared at Peridot's android. "No, go away."

"You don't want to hang out with it?" Steven spluttered, incredulous.

"Gemi, that's a robot." Lapis snorted. "It has the personality of a tape measure."

"But, but, It's just like Peridot!" The boy protested.

"Steven, you're not a broken record. Stop repeating yourself." She retorted. "No one needs to say but _that_ much."

Steven goggled. Something about Lapis was... different. She seemed more annoyed and snarky, more like someone else he knew. 

"What?"

"You sound just like her." He told the lapis.

She turned away. "Shut up, Steven, please." Lapis' voice cracked. "I don't even want to _think_ about Peridot right now."

"Were you two close?"

Lapis chuckled, then sat gracefully on the sandy shore her room was projecting. Her gem cast a blue-tinted scene behind her. Steven watched, starstruck.

In the image, the lapis lazuli wore a long-sleeved, crop-top polo, with a star on the front. It was paired with acid-washed, flared jeans and sneakers. Peridot was about five inches shorter than usual, and she had on a pine-green romper over white leggings. On her feet were bright green knee-high socks with yellow stars on the ankles and converse.

Steven looked at Lapis, horrified.

"That's fashion in the 80s for you, Gemi." She quipped. "Anyway, let me unpause this..."

**30 YEARS AGO**

_80s Peridot and Lapis were standing on the outside wall of the arcade. They peeked in, and the games Steven knew weren't there, replaced by bad quality Tac Man, Monkey Kong, Q*mert, and many others that Steven didn't recognize._

_However, their attention was focused on a man Steven recognized as the mayor. His hair was a bit thicker, and his skin less wrinkly, but he was definitely Mayor Dewey._

_"You do know how furious he'll be if he happens to spot us?" Young Peridot whispered. Lapis slapped a hand over her mouth._

_"Yes, I know, Peri. That's the fun of it. And we just won't get caught." The lapis mumbled._

_"There's actually about a 40% chance we'll get caught, accounting for your agility, speed, reaction ti-"_

_"You're going to bring it up to 90% if you don't stop blabbering!" Past Lapis hissed._

_The past peridot rolled her eyes, but quieted as instructed. She pulled a fishing rod out of her gem, with string so thin you could almost see through it. 80s Lapis retrieved a dollar bill and some tape from her gem. She tore off a piece and taped the dollar bill to the string._

_Past Lapis peered inside the arcade once again, before grabbing Peridot and darting back around the outside. The younger lapis pressed against a side wall so she was invisible to anyone in the arcade game gallery._

"Would you like to commence in hostilities?"

Lapis paused the projection, annoyed by the redundant robot. She groaned, covering her ears and grimacing. "Make it shut up..."

Lapis waited a few minutes, and hearing no more utters from the bot, resumed the scene.

 _Peridot spun the handle of the fishing rod, which elongated the string, moving it to the entrance of the arcade._ As Steven watched the projected scene, he got a glimpse of the dollar bill, which was, on closer inspection, an 100 dollar bill.

_Mayor Dewey's eyes widened as he noticed the bill just outside the arcade, and rushed towards it. Peridot unwound the string even more, and Lapis flew the both of them up to the roof of the gaming plaza._

_Bill Dewey struggled to reach the bill. As his fingertip became inches away, Peridot tossed the line to the side, mimicking a gust of wind. The mayor stumbled towards the dollar, beads of sweat dripping down his neck._

_The two gems high-fived as they continued to taunt the money-obsessed man, howling with laughter._

Lapis stopped the projection. "Does that answer your question?"

"Yeah." Steven replied. He side-eyed the robot across the room. The lapis rolled her eyes.

"You know that's not Peridot, Steven," she insisted. "And staring at that machine won't make her come back sooner."

Steven nodded sadly, lost in thought. His eyes lit up.

"True, that's definitely not Peridot, but maybe..." He paused contemplatively. "Maybe we could get it to act like her?"

Lapis stared at the boy, severely annoyed and slightly disappointed in him. Her eyes turned stunned and miffed as the half-gem's words registered in her mind.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean, we? I'm not any part of this. Peri would kill me if she finds out."

Steven goggled at the lapis.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer. Mostly because I'll probably attack you if you if keep looking at me like that." she snapped.

"Geez, you're a lot more bad-tempered without Peridot, huh?"

"Well, I guess I have no one to argue and make up with." Lapis admitted, still sullen. "Anyway, what were you staring at me for?"

"You usually try to make Peridot mad on purpose. I'm just not used to you caring about her anger." The kid responded.

The blue gem blinked, shocked and weirded out. Her eyes became carefree and cool, like Steven was used to. She flopped back on the sand. "Oh, gosh, what happened to me?"

Steven shrugged, beaming innocently.

"Of course I'll help you, Gemi." The lapis promised, shaking her head in wonder. "I can't believe I cared."

Lapis and her half-gem teammate left her room, Steven's hands dragging the Peri-bot along.

__

"And here, we have... a mess." Steven informed cheerfully, standing next to a pile of loose soda cans, broken toys, batteries, and other junk.

Lapis eyed the trash pile, shaking her head and tossing more junk onto it. "Now it's a mess."

The lapis lay on the sand, near the Delmarva shore. The Peri-bot's stance was stiff and awkward as it squinted at the pile, as if it was unsure if it should attempt to attack the junk or not.

"Peridot would pick up trash." The corners of Steven's mouth turned up.

"Not really," Lapis objected. "More like, she would use the junk to make an invention. I'd pick up the trash. And then I would make a statue or something."

"Okay, fine, Peridot would build something with the trash." Steven agreed.

Lapis picked up a broken toy. It was a sheep plush with a string in the back, and Steven could tell it was supposed to talk when you pulled the string.

"Here you go," She offered the toy to the robot. "Peri likes to pull out computer chips and stuff like that and put it in her programming drawer."

The lapis undid the velcro in the back of the sheep and pulled out the batteries and other parts from inside the stuffed animal. "Okay, there we go." Another toy was retrieved and undone. Lapis turned the toy towards Peri-bot tentatively. "You wanna try?"

The toy was an action figure holding a dagger in each hand. When you pressed a button in the back, its arms tilted up, moving the two daggers along with them. The robot glared at it, raising its sword in response.

"You raise your weapons to me, you fool? Challenge accepted, clod!" The bot yelled, charging at the action figure.

"Nope!" Steven stated matter-of-factly, guiding Peri-bot away from the dagger-wielding doll."Peridot doesn't attack possible parts for her inventions."

"I mean, you've gotta admit," Lapis commented. "That thing may not act like Peri, but it sure talks and sounds like her."

While the half-gem was distracted, the robot impaled the toy. "My opponent has been overpowered! Novice failed!"

"Welp, it won't work. That machine is clearly not going to act like Peri." The lapis lazuli started to walk away.

"Wait, we can't give up!" Steven pleaded.

"Relax, Gemi, I'm just going to get a snack, and chill for a bit!" Lapis called from the porch.

__

Steven and Peridot's android rested on the hill by his house, watching Lapis curiously.

The lapis had gotten up from the porch and perched ethereally on the sand. She pet the head of a few baby birds that had happened to pass by. Steven thought they looked like strange ones, with bright-colored, weirdly shaped bills, black feathers, and sharp talons.

Lapis got to her feet, and started to walk towards Jasper, who was drinking a smoothie and had sunglasses on. The weird birds continued to follow her, and the blue gem laughed. She attempted to shoo them away, but they stayed. One nestled in the lapis' hair.

Steven looked up at the sky, and spotted a big, dark figure swooping down. He screamed, trying to alert Lapis, but she didn't hear him.

"Oh, hello..." The blue gem trailed off, catching sight of the giant creature.

"Ah, shit, not again..." She whispered under her breath, not heard by Steven.

Suddenly, the lapis was snatched up by a... bird? along with the weird ducklings. Steven was worried for a second, but the avian didn't seem to want to eat Lapis. Jasper tried to grab the gem half-heartedly, before shrugging and leaving her with the bird.

"Really, Jasper?!" Lapis groaned.

Jasper shrugged. The giant bird hovered sixteen feet above the ground, the fabric of the lapis lazuli's dress in its talons, yanking her up with it.

Steven gasped, and then giggled. He spun to face the robot next to him. "Peridot loves to rag on Lapis. You give it a try!"

"I will never yield!" Peri-bot shouted.

"There you go!" Steven exclaimed.

He sauntered up to Jasper and the clutched lapis lazuli, the robot following with an awkward, stiff gait.

"What're you two reprobates up to, eh?" Steven inquired in a Canadian accent.

"Hey, little dude." Jasper greeted him.

"What am I up to? I'm up in the sky, and no one's helping me!" Lapis hollered at the top of her lungs so they could hear her.

"Don't worry about her, she's fine," The quartz told the half-gem calmly. "This happens a lot. Lapis got taken by a bear once when you were five. But you were napping and never even knew she was gone."

"Mkay, I'll take your word for it, eh?" The boy decided, still a little worried.

Peri-bot held a giant pencil. "I will take you down, rival! Don't withdraw from a real fight like a coward!"

They watched as the robot held up the pencil threateningly, eyes focused on Lapis' winged captor.

"What is it doing, eh?" Steven wondered, still doing an accent.

Peridot's robot threw the large pencil like a spear. It soared through the air, smacking the claw of the giant bird. The pencil's painful, sudden collision to the feathered creature's leg startled it, and the bird dropped the lapis lazuli in its shock.

"My opponent has been overpowered! Novice failed." The android stated.

"Yes, I'm free!" She cried, spreading her wings. The pencil fell onto the shore, and the feathered animal scooped her back up, though much closer to the ground this time. "Aw, crack me! I can't believe thi-"

Jasper covered Steven's ears, not releasing her palms from them until Lapis was done screaming profanities.

"Sorry, eh!" The boy called to the captive gem, hands cupped around his mouth.

The sullen lapis scoffed. "Why are you still hanging out with that machine? It couldn't even save me, and we can all agree Peri would've been able to."

Steven grabbed the big pencil and sagged on the beach, tracing patterns into the sand with it. Jasper jumped up, grabbing the giant bird's foot to anchor the avian to the ground.

"I guess... I just miss Peridot." He confessed finally, too sad to talk in an accent.

"We all miss her, Steven." Jasper admitted. "Even if I seem the same."

"You do." The boy jested, interrupting the quartz.

"Yeah, I know. But before you know it, Peridot'll be ready and healthy, and pop out of that gem of hers, correcting our grammar and making us feel dumb again." The jasper soothed.

"I kind of miss having my grammar corrected rudely by her..." Steven uttered wistfully.

His currently captive friend spoke up. "I do too, Gemi. But please stop spending time with her robot. Watching you try to make it act like Peridot is destroying my brain cells."

"And she doesn't even have that many to begin with." Jasper cracked with a deadpan expression.

The boy tittered softly. "Jasper, nice one, eh?"

"Can I get some ice up here to help me recover from that burn?" Lapis yelled wryly.

Steven coughed. The orange gem next to him rolled her eyes and released the bird's leg. The gigantic feathered vertebrate soared up high in the sky, taking a certain blue gem with them.

"Poof you, Jasper!" The lapis lazuli shrieked as she became smaller and harder to see.

"I definitely wouldn't say that to my leader if I were you!" Jasper shouted.

"What if I die?!"

"You're fine!" The jasper twisted her head towards the half-gem beside her. "She's fine."

__

"So, did you like the boardwalk, eh?" Steven questioned Peri-bot. He held a green stuffed Martian in his hands. "Peridot loves Martian-themed things. And space."

They were inside Peridot's bedroom, which Steven probably shouldn't have entered. Lapis was way more likely to be cool about trespassing than Peridot, but Steven was desperate.

The room could be accessed by a geometric-patterned water slide leading from Lapis' room as well as by taking the elevator.

The room itself was a glass-green slightly translucent pyramid, with a lab, cushions, desks and tables, and plenty of shelves holding different tools and parts. A bookshelf was full of notebooks, all words in code, and there were about two dozen monitors and inventions sitting on tables. But hundreds more gadgets were organized on shelves.

Peri-bot didn't answer the boy, trying to pull part of its newly granted balloon sword off, deducing that the presence of a sheath was why the 'weapon' wasn't pointy.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me, eh!" Steven inquired, squinting at the accused robot.

Its silence gave him a clear answer.

"I'll take that as a no." He muttered.

The boy motioned towards a giant alien stuffed animal on a small shelf.

"This is Peridot's most sentimental item. She doesn't really have the patience for most things like this, but I guess the person makes it special, eh?" He quieted thoughtfully. "I wonder who gave it to her..."

The android stared at him, devoid of all emotion.

"Oh, It means something to you too, eh?" Steven guessed. "Tell me how you're feeling, eh, I don't mind. Come on, do your worst."

Peri-bot's eyes went from green to yellow. "Challenge accepted. Intermediate Mode: Activated!"

Steven darted out of the way. Peridot's robot swung the blade with such force that the large alien plushie was split in two.

"No, Peridot's stuffed alien!" He cried in vain.

"My opponent has been overpowered! Intermediate failed!"

The half-gem stood up, eyes blazing like the embers on hot coals. His hands were tightened into fists so that his fingernails dug into his palms.

"The real Peridot would never, ever do something like that, eh?" Steven growled.

"Lapis was right, eh?" The boy declared. "You're hopeless! Leave me ALONE!"

"Eh?" He whispered softly, staying true to a Canadian accent.

Steven sped away from the android, clutching the tiny plush Martian he had won for it close to his chest, leaving the robot alone in Peridot's room.

__

Rain spilled out from the clouds heavier than they did a week ago. Booms of roaring thunder reverberated through Beach City, lightning striking the sands eerily.

Steven was curled up in one of the living room couches, staring out at the storm outside the temple. In his lap sat Peridot's gem, swaddled in a baby blanket. The junk pile from earlier was dumped in the living room 

"I wish you would come back already, eh?" Steven murmured to the gem, "But I can see why you may not want to. I mean, this storm is crazy! There have been a lot of sandstorms lately, too, in other parts of Delmarva, eh?"

"I guess it's okay you're not here, though, because..." He picked Peridot's gem up, jumped off the couch, and placed her further down on the couch, where she'd be safe. The boy gripped a DVD case excitedly. "I found Lonely Blade 5, eh?"

The gem did not respond, and the half-gem drooped.

"I was going to watch it with Lapis, since you're not here, but she's being force-fed worms by a really big bird! And Jasper's enjoying Lapis' suffering." Steven told her. "Are you almost ready? It feels like you've been in there forever, eh?

The boy sighed and inserted the disc, booting up the TV. "I'm gonna brush my teeth, so I don't get cavities or anything! You taught me that, eh?"

He stood up and walked towards the bathroom, bumping into a certain robot on the way.

"Aaah!" The kid screamed. "Eh?" He muttered.

"Do you desire testing your newfound abilities by battling me?"

"Well, goodbye, pearly-whites, eh?" Steven mumbled as he dashed away. "We had a good run, but proper dental hygiene isn't my priority right now. My priority is survival, eh!"

He stumbled back towards the kitchen, pouring himself some soda. Lightning struck, and he turned slowly to meet eyes with Peridot's robot, holding her longsword. "Do not run! You cannot flee from fate! Choose your weapon, and we shall fight to the death!"

"Go away, I just want to watch a violent and historically inaccurate movie, eh!" The boy squeaked, running for the bathroom again with the glass of soda still in hand.

The Peri-bot pursued him all the way. At the very last second, Steven slid to the side, his previously-gained momentum moving him out of the door frame of the bathroom. The robot attempted to stop, but was so close to the door it couldn't change direction, and crashed onto the bathroom floor.

Steven slammed the door and locked it. He strolled back to the couch proudly.

__

On the television screen, the main character faced a zombie samurai, in similar clothes as him. Outside, a bolt of lightning hit the sand, mixing with the incoming tides gracefully.

"Yes, it is I, your brother." The zombie told the samurai.

Steven slurped up some soda, engrossed in the movie. "This movie is awesome! Way better than the fourth, eh, Peridot?"

He slumped, remembering Peridot wasn't there.

The boy saw a flash of silver. He turned to see Peridot's android, covered in wall plaster. He chose to ignore eat, turning his attention back to the movie.

"Brother!" The zombie yelled.

"Just wait a minute." The main character stated. You are not my real brother!" He pulled out his two katanas and shouted, "Boomerang Blade!"

Steven watched the scene, his memory flashing back.

_The peridot exhaled in relief. She spun to meet the lapis' eyes._

_"Thanks, Lazuli."_

_Lapis shifted away from the Peri-bot, smiling at her friend. "You know I'm here for y-"_

Sonething sharp and silver passed through his vision, and the boy winced, scrunching his eyes tightly. 

Steven heard a loud crack, and his eyes fluttered open to see a silver blade with a glass of soda impaled on it. The TV screen was cracked, and the child could see the inside of it, which was also stabbed through. Peri-bot stood near him, shoulders battered with pieces of doorframe and wall plaster.

"Why can't you just let me drink carbonated drinks and watch a gender-stereotyping movie with my friend, eh?"

The robot did not answer his question. It merely stated, "My opponent has been overpowered. Intermediate failed!"

The half-gem scowled, disbelief and fury bubbling up inside him. He may as well have been foaming at the mouth. The usually loving, positive boy glared at Peridot's robot, his hands balling into fists so tight that his fingernails dug into his palms, nearly drawing blood.

"That... that could have killed me, eh!" Steven exclaimed, shaking with anger.

The android stared back at him blankly. "Do you want to... duel?"

"Duel? DUEL? No, I do NOT want to duel, eh!" The furious kid yelled.

"Lapis was right, eh?" He continued. "You are NOTHING like Peridot! Because even though she can be rude, and conceited, and critical, Peridot still cares about me, eh! Unlike YOU! All you care about is getting to have a duel!"

"Challenge accepted!" Peri-bot declared. Its eyes turned green. "Intermediate Mode: Activated!"

Steven groaned, shoving the bot out of the way. It slashed its sword repeatedly. The boy grabbed junk pieces and heaved them at the robot, who blocked each and every one with its sword. The child picked up the last hunk and threw it with all his might. It smacked Peri-bot in the face.

"I have been beaten. Intermediate Mode: Defeated!" The android informed him. He smiled, relieved. "War Veteran Mode: Activated!" Its eyes went from yellow to a bloody red.

The boy's face lost all color. He yelped and shrieked as he barely dodged Peridot's machine's attacks. Steven dove off the couch, rolling towards a wall. Peri-bot trailed him. The child held his recently bought Martian plushie to protect him, and screeched when the head of it was split through. The robot's sword nearly split his thumbs in half, but luckily only slit the skin near his knuckles. 

Steven surveyed his surroundings. "Picture frame, pencil, boomerang, notebook...." He glanced back at one of them. "Boomerang, eh!" The half-gem yelled, yeeting it towards the android. 

Peri-bot followed it with her eyes as it circled the room, ending up back in the child's grip. The bot eyed him for a moment, seemingly puzzled, before attacking once more. The boy hopped off of the couch and onto a box attached to his pulley. He yanked the rope in an effort to get up to his room, but with one swing, Peridot's robot sliced the ropes, causing the box to drop down a foot before crashing to the ground. Steven tripped and stumbled over the kitchen counter, the robot's frantic slash missing him and ruining the countertop instead.

He looked around desperately behind the counter, spotting a broom and grabbing it. The child used it to block Peri-bot's strikes. Chunks of the broom were cut off. 

The android continued to swing her sword, missing the young half-gem and impaling the refrigerator.

"Peridot, if you can hear me in your gem, I'm sorry, eh? I should've known that no one could replace you, but I missed you so much!" Steven cried. "I should have been patient, I should have watched you and-"

He gasped, a lightbulb in his head going off. The boy studied the robot as it attacked. He found a pattern in the Peri-bot's sequence. "It always leaves its chest open after a thrust, eh!"

The child waited patiently for Peridot's android to stab its longsword forward. He dodged quickly, a grin spreading across his chubby cheeks. 

"The perfect time to-" Steven started to spin the broom. "Thrust!"

He tossed it towards the bot, and the broom shot forward, spinning and slicing clean through Peri-bot's waist. The kid slouched forward, hands resting on his knees, and panted.

The robot stood calmly, eyes grey. "I have been beaten. War Veteran Mode: Defeated." It paused curiously. "You are wishing to battle again?"

"No, no, no, no no." Steven replied quickly, waving his hand through the holographic robot until it turned into sparkles, and a computer chip dropped onto the floor. He smashed it with the broom frantically before sweeping it into the nearby dustpan.

Just then, the door opened. Jasper strolled in, hands in pockets. 

"Hey, I thought you were watching Lapis beg a bird for mercy, eh?" The boy stated.

"Oh, after a few hours, it got less funny." The jasper told him.

"Ah." Steven nodded. "So where is she, eh?"

"She'll be back. Eventually." The orange quartz replied. "So, how was your day? Or... night? I can't tell, it's been raining too much."

"Well, I learned no matter how much you miss someone or something, there are times you have to learn to accept the way things are, and be patien-" As the child explained wisely, a green glow from the living room became brighter and illuminated his face. He and Jasper walked over to the couch inquisitively, gasping when they saw the source.

Peridot's gem had risen from the seat, casting a green light onto the first floor of their house. It hovered in the air, and a pale green, shiny silhouette formed around it. The silhouette's bright light faded, and in its place was a person Steven recognized, but also... didn't. 

His first thought was that Peridot had lost part of limbs, which made sense. After all, when she poofed, her forearms and lower leg were still there. But glancing down at her feet, he could see that wasn't the case. Peridot was a few inches taller than Steven, and kind of... adorable.

Instead of her long-sleeved shirt and pants with a triangular black section that stretched fall the way down one sleeve, Peridot was wearing an oversized yellow turtleneck with green stars patterned on the sleeves, dark green leggings, and black boots.

"Oh, hey, Peridot." Jasper waved.

She waved back. 

Steven gaped. "Peridot, you're.... SHORT?"

Peridot did a double take, looking down at her feet. She yelped, turning to Jasper. "Where are my limb enhancers!"

"I think... Lapis had them?" the jasper replied.

Peridot sighed.

"Yes, Steven, I'm short." She confirmed.

The boy shook his head, unbelieving. Suddenly, he rushed into her arms, embracing her tightly. 

"Aw, I missed you so much, eh?" Steven mumbled.

"I... missed you two, Steven," Peridot responded gingerly, patting him on the back awkwardly as he gave her a bear hug.

The child let go of her, using Jasper as a boost to get to the highest kitchen cabinets. He retrieved metal pots and pans, and dashed outside. "Lapis, Laaaapiiiisssss! Wherever you are, guess what, eh? PERIDOT'S BACK, eh?" 

Peridot eyed the dented and scratched kitchen counter and sofa, front door frame, and general mass strewed around on the floor. 

"Did Lapis try to summon a demon while I was gone?" She whispered to the large orange quartz standing next to her.

"Sadly, not this time." Jasper uttered.

"Oh, then did she try keep wild animals as pets again?" Peridot guessed.

"Surprisingly, no. I was kind of looking forward to it." 

Peridot spotted her robot on the floor. "The robot tried to kill Steven, didn't it..."

"I wouldn't know, I wasn't here." The jasper muttered, opening the fridge to get a popsicle.

Suddenly, Steven ran back into the house. "Yaaaay, eh?!"

Lapis plummeted down, smashing through the roof and second floor to land on her bottom. Bird poop was splattered on her head and shoulders, and her dress was torn. She coughed, then picked a dead worm out of her mouth.

"What happened this time..." Peridot questioned, grabbing tissues to pick the grubs out of ths lapis' hair. 

"Yeah, apparently I look like a baby bird." Lapis croaked, coughing up regurgitated bugs.

"Jasper, we really need to make a kit for this. We're running out of tissues." noted Peridot.

"Eh." Jasper shrugged it off. 

"Peridot's back, eh?" Steven exclaimed, still Canadian.

"Steven, you know Canadians don't say 'eh' after every sentence, right?" The green gem inquired.

The half-gem quieted. "They don't?"

"Steven, how long have you been doing that accent?" Peridot queried, exasperated.

"At least six hours, eh!" The boy cried, banging pans together once, then dabbing, and so on.

"How did you clods survive without me?" The rude gem remarked. "C'mon, Lazuli, we have to clean your hair in the sink..."

"I can't feel my stomach..." Lapis groaned, holding her chest squeamishly.


	6. Lion 2: The Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which has the stupid-ass idea to use his untrained lion friend to take him and Connie to the movies.

Steven and Connie sat on the couch, watching an advertisement. Lapis, Jasper, and Peridot were on a mission.

"Dogcopter 3, in 3D."

Several explosions could be seen in the background of the advertisement.

"This February, the fur hits the fan."

The boy looked up from the ad on Connie's phone in amazement. "Wow, that's so cool! I get why you like the franchise."

"I know, right? When humans are put in danger, a dog turns out to be their humble savior." His friend gushed, smiling. "I just hope they don't ruin the books for me..."

A sudden glow of blue light shone on their arms and legs. Steven and Connie turned in the direction of the haze of light, and the girl's mouth hung open.

"The gems are back." He informed her, small smile on his face.

The beam of light cleared to reveal the three gems, posing dramatically. Lapis stood, hands on hips and feet in ballet third position. Jasper's arms were crossed, and Peridot was dabbing.

"Oh, hey, Connie." The lapis greeted the human coolly.

"We didn't know you were going to be here," The peridot added.

"Shut up, Peridot." Jasper muttered, elbowing the gem.

Connie gawked at the now-short Peridot.

"Yes, I am small." The green gem snapped.

"What about your limb enhancers, Peri? Don't you feel more comfortable with them?" Steven piped up.

The peridot glanced down at her feet, then her arms. "I think I'll stay like this a bit longer."

"So, what are you two up to?" Jasper questioned.

"We're gonna watch a movie about a dog helicopter that saves the world!" The boy replied.

"You mean Dogcopter?" Lapis guessed.

He and Connie nodded.The lapis unfolded her wings and shape-shifted them into a propeller. The human gasped.

"I'm a Lapis Copter!" She cried, before pulling an electric piano out of her gem and playing a funky beat. "Who needs a dog when you've got a Lapis _and_ music?"

"Aw, Lapis, stop showing off." Steven teased, grinning. "Connie says this movie's really good."

Lapis smirked, reverting her wings back to normal and folding them back in. "Even better than _music,_ Gemi?"

"Maybe." The human girl grinned.

"Ooh, I like her." Lapis commented, fist-bumping Connie.

"We even got our own snacks!" The half-gem told the other gems.

"My mom won't let me buy snacks at the theater, so we bought popcorn and candy from the dollar store. Technically, they _aren't_ from the movies." His friend elaborated.

The lapis high-fived her.

"I can fly you guys to the movie theater." She offered.

The two kids agreed.

"No, you can't." Peridot interrupted, grabbing the blue gem's arm.

"Today's binge day, Lapis." Jasper reminded her.

"Oh, yeah! We have to see how Kelsey reacts to finding out her boyfriend's trans." Lapis swiveled towards the children. "Sorry."

"Oh, it's okay. I've got it covered." The boy insisted, grinning.

__

"Steven, how are we going to get there?" Connie murmured, unsure.

They were walking down the beach, the girl following Steven.

"We're going to travel... in style!" The boy exclaimed, dashing for a pink figure in the distance.

His friend arrived shortly after he did, wheezing for breath.

"Meet.... Lion! Or Lioness! Either's fine." He pointed at the massive pink feline next to him.

"That's... a female, though, right?" Connie queried, puzzled.

"Yup!" Steven agreed.

"So then... why would you call her Lion?"

"It's short for Lioness. Plus, she is a lion!" He responded.

Lion ambled up to the boy, rubbing her head against his.

"The lion is _yours?"_ The girl inquired, dumbfounded.

The lioness growled in response, before curling up on the sand. Steven chuckled, embracing the feline.

"I mean, she's sort of like a pet, but she's not trained to follow orders. Lioness is like.... like a lone wolf! Except she's not a wolf. She's a lion." The half-gem answered, climbing onto the pink lion's back, failing and falling back onto the beach.

He eyed the dead creature clutched in the lioness' paws. "Like that thing. Who knows what it is, or where Lion got it!"

Connie chuckled sadly, resting her back against the boy's feline."Of _course_ you have a pink lion. Everything about your life is so magical, and cool. And what do I have? The most magical thing in my life, aside from you, is, well... tennis practice." She proceeded to use a nearby stick as a tennis racket, showing Steven different strikes. "Forehand!" The girl whirled the stick to the left, cutting the air. "Backhand!" She swung it to the right. "Overhand Strike!" Connie raised the stick above her head and slammed it down.

"Whoa, tennis is rad!" Her half-gem friend exclaimed, eyes starry.

Lion grumbled, directing their attention towards her.

"Lion wants us to hurry up." The bright-eyed kid informed his close friend. "Or she's tired." A grin spread across his chubby cheeks. "Anyway, let's go!"

They got onto the pink lioness' back. As the feline stood up, Connie wobbled, but managed to stay on.

After a few moments of no movement, Steven frowned.

"Let's go to the movie theater?" He told the lion.

She didn't budge.

"Uh, please?" The half-gem tried.

"You're not listening to me again, Lioness." Steven sighed.

He looked back at his friend and chuckled nervously. "Uh, she's not trained that well, but I haven't been trained well either, s-"

The pink wildcat surged forward, startling the duo on her back.They yelped in fear, but soon relaxed.

Lioness began to shoot towards the seashore, causing Steven to panic. "Wait, Lion! Don't go in ther-"

The lion continued to run, feet skimming the surface of the water. She zoomed over the ocean like it was solid.

"Of course you can walk on water. You _never_ tell me all the cool things you can do." The boy grumped.

The rose-colored feline bolted farther away from Delmarva. Connie and Steven gawked at the gulls and other seabirds flying just above them.

The half-gem waved as they dashed past a boat, to the surprise of the people on deck.

The girl snuck a look behind them, and became worried as she saw Beach City become smaller and smaller. "Are you _certain_ Lion knows where she's going?"

"No." Steven replied. The female's eyes widened. "But maybe it's a shortcut?" He suggested.

Lioness roared, opening a portal in front of her. She jumped in, taking the two children with her.

They all zoomed through a blue, shimmering tunnel, similar to a horizontal warp pad. Connie held on to the back of Steven's shirt, who was holding onto the fur on the feline's back.

"Have you done this before?" Connie questioned, terrified.

"No!" He yelled back.

The portal opened again at the end of the blue tunnel. They fell through, landing in a cave. Lioness slowly skidded to a stop.

The lion sat, throwing the two children off of it and into clear liquid.

Steven raised his head out of the water, gasping for breath. His shorts were soaked and hung limply on his body. Steven spat a trickle of water out, Connie sitting next to him.

"Are you okay?" The boy asked her.

"That... was _amazing."_ Connie murmured, wringing out her hair.

Lion growled, beckoning the half-gem. She was standing on a gray circular platform that rose above the shallow water. It had a swirling circular symbol in the center of the floor, but Steven couldn't tell what exactly it was supposed to be.

"Lion! Wait up!" Steven protested, hopping up onto the tribune. Connie bumped into him as he halted, looking up at his surroundings.

He was inside a cave, with stalactite and stalagmite poking out of the ground and ceiling. The light was dim and faint. It was filled with shallow waters, which he and the human had fallen into.

"Is this one of those magical gem places? What do you call them, spires?" Connie wondered aloud.

Steven didn't answer, and continued to follow the lion across the tribune. The human girl trailed behind him, gazing at the place in awe.

When he got to a certain point on the platform, it turned pink, and activated a pink glowing pedestal that appeared next to Lion.

 _"Definitely_ a magical gem place." breathed Steven.

He and Connie rushed towards Lion and the pillar. It was about Steven's height, and had a rose-like symbol on the surface. The kid glanced at it uncomfortably.

"Look, Lioness, I usually love this type of stuff, but this is NOT the movie theater." He started. "I don't want to miss it."

The pink wildcat growled at him.

"What's that even supposed to mean?" He queried, exasperated.

Connie peered at the column, rubbing her hand along the edge. "Maybe, Lioness brought you here.... for a reason."

"Well, I guess, but if we don't go right now, we're gonna miss the commercials, and then the previews, and we won't have time to find the perfect seats..."

The girl grabbed Steven's hand as he continued to rant, and placed it on the rose etched into the top of the stand.

The whole tribune they stood on turned pink, and Steven's friend looked around, curious.

"I think it likes you!" She guessed as the half-gem struggled to pull his hand off of the monolith.

He shrieked as he came to a realization. "My hand, it's stuck!"

Connie wrapped her digits around Steven's chubby arm and tried to remove his hand from the mysterious now-pink pillar.

"Wow, Steven, it's like you're superglued to it or something." She remarked, pushing her glasses up her nose. "We might have to chop your hand off."

"What?!" Steven yelled in a shrill voice.

A pink cylinder sprouted from the platform they stood on. When it got to a certain height, it stopped growing, towering over them and Lioness. Its sides shrunk back, as if they were mist, revealing a variety of swords. They stretched out, hovering in a line near Steven.

"Whoa..." whispered Connie, awestruck.

Steven shook his head violently, eyes bulging. The preteen was stricken with terror as he gaped at the sharp blades. "No, no, no!"

The swords clumped together in a cylinder shape. They were surrounded by the same pink haze as before, and they shot back down into the floor obediently, as if whimpering from being scolded.

"How'd you do that, Steven?"

"I have no idea..." He replied in a small voice.

"Do it again, do it again! It was so cool!" Connie gushed, grabbing his shoulders and shaking them.

Steven paused, eyebrow cocked and mouth pulled into an adorable half-smile. "Um, okay... I'll try, I guess."

He raised his free hand up, clenching it into a fist and concentrating hard. Steven's face was scrunched up with effort, hand muscles straining as his fingertips pressed into his palms.

"Anything? Anything at all?" Steven inquired desperately, opening one eye.

Behind, Lioness rolled her eyes, disgusted by his perceived idiocy.

"Nope..." Connie told him, thinking hard. "Here, lemme try..."

She pinched his arm, recieving a startled yip from the boy. "Wait, what are you doing?" Steven shouted worriedly, as his friend continued to poke and prod at him.

"Maybe if I..." The girl jabbed Steven in the ribs with her pointer finger. He chuckled, hunched over the column he was stuck to. "Wait, I'm ticklish!"

Connie poked his stomach repeatedly, causing the half-gem to howl with laughter.

"Wait, no, stop, I think I'm gonna pe-" Steven gasped in between peals of laughter.

As he finished his words, square bits of floor rose, armor shooting up from the holes left behind along with them. Each suit of armor stopped once revealed completely. They surrounded Steven and his friend in a circle that along the circular symbol on the platform.

"Look at all that armor!" Connie exclaimed.

The half-gem spun to face the adventurous bookworm, eyes bright. "Press my nose, press my nose!"

She did as asked, and the suits of armor descended back into the holes they came from, the chunks of floor sealing the holes once more. Six siege engines zoomed up from the floor, some tiles moving to accommodate them.

Two of them went back down under the floor before the dark-haired kids had a chance to see them clearly. The four that were still there were dusty, like the two trebuchets Steven had used once before, but otherwise very different.

One perfectly matched the engines the child knew, except there was one trebuchet here instead of two. A green hand weapon sat next to it, green and yellow and geometrical. Perpendicular to those two were a blue ballista and an orange, red and brown cannon.

"Do those belong to the Crystal Gems?"

"Next, axes!" Connie yelled, ignoring his earlier question and squishing his cheeks.

Axes automatically revealed themselves. Connie pushed her comrade's shoulder lightly.

"Ball-chain thingies!" She and Steven shouted in unison. The human poked the half-gem again.

"A giant..." The boy squinted at the new arrival to the tribune. "Penny?"

"Then does it have more value than a regular penny?"

Steven turned to face the Connie, smiling trivially. "Somehow, I can _cents_ it does."

They giggled.

"This is great," Connie admitted. "But I'm getting the feeling that I don't really... belong here."

"Well, _I_ think you do." Steven told her. "If this place is for me, then _I_ get to decide who belongs. And I want you here."

The girl looked at him, eyes slightly wider than usual.

"I mean, _I_ don't want you here. I guess Lion's the one that wants you and me here, since she's the one who brought us." The preteen clarified, glancing up at his adventurous friend. "But I want us to be at the movies! And see tons of stuff blow up."

The column sunk down into the floor, leaving Steven's hand in the air. He and his comrade gaped as the circular tile in the center of the platform radiated harsh white light, now a hole. A metal contraption slowly rose out of it.

The mechanism could have been a cylinder, if not for its top, which was circular, but slightly bigger than its bottom face. This caused it to be shaped like a plastic cup you'd drink out of at a cliche high-school party.

Its round side was made of two horizontal wheel parts that could spin independently from one another, though they looked like one cylinder. Two almost-cartoony eyes were on the top wheel, and there were four evenly-spaced holes on the other.

Next to Steven, a spike shot up, and one appeared behind the human girl almost immediately after.

The circular floor panel that had disappeared, allowing the strange machine to zoom out of the hole beneath it, had recently reappeared. More sharp, thin spindles sprouted up along the edges of the gray tribune's tiles, which reminded the boy standing on the raised platform of a mandala.

Connie glanced at him nervously. "Um... Steven, do you think we should be scared right now?"

"Uhhhh...." The fluffy haired half-gem turned towards his feline companion, who had dozed off a few yards away from them. "Lioness seems fine, so I guess not."

Hovering above them, the engine's eyes and holes illuminated with pale light. The ring-like panels surrounding its four circles enlongated, now at the end of smaller cylinders sticking out of the bottom wheel.

The bottom wheel spun around quickly, before retracting the smaller cylinders back into it. The light radiating from it changed from white to yellow. Electricity crackled, some bolts of energy jumping from one yellow circle to another.

"Run!" Steven cried, and he and Connie did just that.

The machine shot out a blast of electricity, which the boy luckily avoided. The robot's glow then turned ice blue, and started to follow him as he ran for his life, curly hair bouncing.

"Connie!" He breathed desperately. She glanced towards him, eyes becoming almost as big as saucers, and gasped, "Steven! Watch out!"

Steven threw his head back, looking up in wide-eyed distress at the sight of the contraption hovering a few feet above him.

It shot out a blast of ice, and he scampered behind a giant spike, obscuring his vision with his palms. After a few seconds without sudden death, Steven removed his hands and peered out. He goggled at the floor next to him, covered in near-transparent frost. "Huh?"

"Steven!" Connie whispered, head peeking out of the top of a spike. The ice between their hiding spots was slowly melting. "What do we do?"

They both stared up at the mechanism, which started to spin its bottom wheel again, cylinders sticking out like cannons. On closer observation, they actually were cannons.

Spotting the ice-blue light in the machine become a orange-red hue, the girl screamed. One of its cannons was loaded with a large ignited bullet.

"Connie!" Steven exclaimed, running towards her. He stumbled on the patch of ice and fell onto his face.

Steven pushed himself up on his elbows, glancing up at a fiery explosion.

Smoke billowed out from where the cannonball hit.

The engine shot out another cannonball, which exploded a foot above Connie. It skimmed her back, and the girl buckled her knees in shock, falling forward.

Steven rushed to her side, offering his hands. She grabbed them, and he pulled her to her feet.

They both turned their heads to the side, seeing the machine, its cannon loaded and poised to launch.

The kids spun back towards each other, scrunching up and bracing for impact. A magical pink bubble began to surround them, shielding them from any harm.

The engine fired, its cannonball crashing into the bubble. Directly after, the bubble shrunk back into Steven's gem. The two children were shot in opposite directions and landed multiple feet away with a thud.

A ring of fire circled Steven, who's skin was littered with light scratches and bruises. The contraption got ready to shoot another bullet, and a single tear dripped down the kid's face.

"Ow, my head..." He groaned.

Lioness crept towards Steven, drowsy and confused. She looked down and met his eyes.

The half-gem sat up, relieved. "Lion! You're awake! Get us out of here! Please?"

The lion squinted at his despair. Finally, she sighed, and bent down.

Steven climbed up onto his feline's back, followed by Connie shortly after.

The contraption was now yellow. The pink lioness jumped off of the tribune they all stood on, cannonballs exploding and bolts of lighntning striking behind her.

She roared, sound waves generating a portal, which Lion jumped through.

__

It was a usual day at the movie theater. There wasn't anyone outside except for Jane, who was manning the ticket booth as usual. She almost drowsed off, but sat straight up at a peculiar sight.

A bright pink lion zoomed out of a portal, with two children on its back.

"What?!" Steven yelled, exasperated. "Oh, _now_ you take us to the movies?"

Lioness jumped, and sat down sharply, causing the two kids to slide off onto the sidewalk and fall onto their bottoms.

Connie reached out to touch a scratch just under her eye, wincing in pain. Her friend dug through his taco backpack in search of aid.

The boy handed her an ice-cold soda, which she placed onto the cut. Steven placed another soda on his own scrape.

A smile spread across the dark-skinned girl's face, reopening a healing cut above her lip and causing her to flinch. "Thanks."

"Well, we're here!" Steven exclaimed, grinning infectiously. "Ready to watch a cinematic masterpiece?"

Connie looked down at her feet.

"No, no, I'm good. Let's go." She replied, voice small.

"Uh..." Her friend hesitated, extending his arm and then leaving it to hang in the air. "I-I, um..."

He grabbed his head, scoffing. "Ugh, I'm so _stupid!_ Why are you even friends with me? I mess up _everything."_

"I don't know why you're friends with me!" Connie admitted. "I'm so boring, and you're clearly a chosen one with some magical destiny! Why on Earth would care about someone as insignificant as me, let alone want to see a movie like _this_ with them?!"

"Wh-h-Why?!" Steven yelled, incredulous. "Because it's Dogcopter, Connie!"

"He's a dog, and a cop, and shoots missiles out of his butt," The half-gem stood up and did a hero pose. "And he's going to save the world!"

"Dogcopter is awesome and important." The child looked away. "At least, to me."

"Well, I'm not Dogcopter..." His pal muttered, averting her gaze. Her sad scowl quickly faded as something slammed into a car in the parking lot behind her. Its crash and an explosion resounded along the block.

Connie spun towards the sound, where fragments of the just-detonated car had fallen onto its previous parking space. She turned back around to see the matter-blasting contraption from the cave. It peeked out of Lion's portal."Oh, no!"

The machine pushed and pushed, but it couldn't quite make it through the magical gateway. Its glow flickered from white to red to yellow to blue.

"It's that robot thing!" Steven gasped. "How are we supposed to defeat _that?"_

He and the human girl glanced at one another, then Lioness, whose eyes were glowing a blinding white. Her chest, belly, neck, and chin, which usually were a pale pink, were now illuminating the same shade as her eyes.

The feline approached the half-gem, bending her front legs as to bow majestically. She raised her head, displaying her neck to Steven. A dimmer white luminescence flickered just under her chin. After flashing a few more times, the light vanished and was replaced by the handle of a weapon sticking out from Lion's mouth.

The boy didn't understand quite a few things about this sudden occurrence, such as why the lion wasn't in pain from having a weapon stuffed down her throat and how this lion just summoned a weapon, but he put these things aside.

Steven grabbed the hilt of the melee weapon and started to pull it out of Lioness' jaws. "Does this seem weird at all to you, or is it just me?"

"Yeah, it's weird." Connie responded, standing right behind the preteen and holding onto his shoulder. She adjusted her spectacles.

The small kid finally wrenched the weapon from his Lion's mouth, and held it above his head with both hands.

"You have a sword in your mouth?!" Steven hollered, goggling at the pink lion in part surprise and part annoyance.

"It's a scabbard, actually." His friend corrected.

"How come you never tell _me_ anything?" The boy continued.

The engine shoved through the portal, appearing on the other side. The two kids stared up in shock as the hue of its glow began to flicker between red, white yell, and its bottom wheel began to spin. The mechanism's light flashed only yellow and ice blue, and it rose higher and higher into the orange and pink sky.

The cannons alternated between blasts of electricity, ice, and both. The bottom wheel of the machine continued to rotate, whirling the cannons around rapidly and changing each piece of ammunition's trajectory and target.

Jane threw herself under the counter of the ticket booth, barely dodging lightning bolts and ice. Cars and trucks were dented by chunks of hail, enveloped by sheets of frost and sleet, and their windows were smashed by icicles. A flash of electricity ricocheted off of the vehicles and hit the movie theater sign, which was dismantled from the top of the building and fell to the ground in front of Steven with a deafening boom.

"What do I do with this?" He queried, glancing behind him at his friend.

A charge of electricity and ice zoomed towards the boy.

"Watch out!" Connie cried.

She wrapped her arms around him and grabbed his wrists with her hands, moving his hands and the scabbard Steven held above his face.

They deflected the blast of energy and frozen water, sending it sailing back through the air towards the contraption, smacking it above the cannons. The machine's light turned yellow, then went out altogether and its bottom wheel stopped spinning.

The half-gem and human locked eyes, both relieved and confident. The mechanism slowly began to spin again, and halted when one cannon was aligned with the two preteens. It turned yellow and shot a ball of pure energy towards them. "Forehand!" Connie and Steven swung the sword to the left like a baseball bat, smacking the electricity away. The engine now glowed ice blue, and fired ice at them. "Backhand!" The children shoved the blade of the scabbard to the right, blocking the ice. The machine discharged a cannonball. "Overhand... Death Strike!" The duo raised the scabbard above their heads and swung it down with all their might. The bullet hurtled back toward the contraption, which sucked it back up through the cannon. The engine shook, heating up, before exploding.

"Is that anything like tennis practice?" Steven asked Connie.

She smiled nervously. "Actually, I made up that last one."

"Oh." He uttered. "Well, then, it's chosen one practice."

Jane slowly stood up and peered out from her ticket stand, wary. Those weird kids who rode that lion stood in front of it. The glasses-wearing girl held a... sword? Jane noticed the chubby boy next to the girl had a pink gem for a belly button. The movie theater employee took a deep breath, willing herself to pretend that these two were the average customer. That this was just your average day working at a movie theater.

"Hi!" The boy squeaked, beaming.

"....H-Hi." Jane managed a shaky smile.

"Two kids, and one lion, to see Dogcopter."

Jane tried to gather up the courage to tell the kids that lions were definitely not allowed in the theater, though no one had ever tried to buy a ticket for one before, as far as she knew, so she could've been wrong. The words didn't come out as Jane swore the pink lion was eyeing her hungrily, and she knew she definitely didn't want to be on the bad side of the feline or the kids who had somehow tamed it.

"Um... Do you have a Rewards card?" She questioned.

__

Dogcopter scarfed up kibble from a dog bowl in a skyscraper, then flew out of it quickly before a bomb went off.

"Whoa!" Steven commented, dropping a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Was that in the book?"

"Eh, they're taking some liberties." Connie replied before taking a sip of her soda.


	7. Rose's Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven throws a temper tantrum and then naruto runs into his Mom's room.

"The crowd watches intently as a single bite makes or breaks a new record." Steven monologued, holding a spoon up to his mouth.

The boy was sitting at the kitchen counter, where four empty cans also sat, waiting to be thrown away.

The preteen tipped his head back, sticking the spoon into his mouth and slurping up the food on it. Steven struggled to swallow, but managed to down the thick substance.

"And he's done it! A new record!" He yelled, hopping off his chair and raising his arms in celebration, starting a victory dance.

Steven stopped his triumphant jig abruptly as he noticed the Crystal Gems standing on the warp and eyeing him.

He scurried back to the countertop, embarrassed, and gathered up the empty cans in his arms.

"Oh, hey guys! Didn't see you there."

"I didn't think so." Lapis remarked wryly, stepping off the warp pad.

"Greetings, Steven." Peridot addressed him with a nervous smile. "I'm sure the seizure-like jerks you just did were supposed to be a dance, and I don't have to take you to the emergency room."

Lapis Lazuli and Jasper squinted at her. She shrugged. "I watch doctor shows in between inventing and researching."

"So, Steven, are you going to tell us why you were dancing?" The jasper inquired, ruffling Steven's fluffy curls.

"If it was dancing." Peridot added.

"These are 4 empty cans of creamed corn!" The chubby child exclaimed.

The trio stared at him blankly.

"Um.... cool?" Jasper replied, putting her thumb up.

Lapis snickered. "Aw, thanks, Gemi. These are perfect for the statue I'm working on. It's going to be a masterpiece!"

Peridot snorted. "I'm sure it will."

"No! This isn't for you, Lapis! I mean, I guess you can have it, but that's not why I was happy!" Steven corrected them. "I ate four cans of creamed corn!"

"Oh, to break my record?" The lapis guessed with a smirk. "Sorry to break it to you, but as of now, I can eat seven cans."

"Seven cans?!" The half-gem cried in disbelief.

"It's true. We had to watch." Jasper told him.

Peridot shook her head in shame. "Thirty minutes of my life I'll never get back."

"Cool, but that's not why I ate the corn." Steven clarified. "There's five dollar coupons on the backs! I ate these so we could all go together! And to break Lapis' record, but I guess that didn't work."

"Wow..." Lapis murmured, smiling tightly. "That's, um... really sweet, Gemi."

Jasper and Peridot stared at each other, both shaking their heads vigorously before Peridot gave in, sighing.

"Unfortunately," The peridot's eyes went to the floor, then to Steven, and then back to the floor again. "We have to decline."

The child's mouth fell open, and he frowned. The other Crystal Gems winced, knowing they fully deserved what was coming, but still dreading Steven's reaction.

Steven was so, so angry, yet at the same time, he wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. _"Another_ mission? But you promised me we'd go! It's been _two weeks_ since you guys last hung out with me!"

"We did eat breakfast with you last week," Jasper reminded him. "Well, me and Lapis ate with you. Peri just sat there."

"Chewing pancakes quietly for ten minutes with a soundtrack of Peridot's obnoxious comments doesn't count." Steven barked curtly.

"Those weren't obnoxious. That would imply they were simply unpleasant. The word you are looking for is discourteous, which in this case means to be rude or inconsiderate towards others, and I think we can all agree this word is a much better fit." Lapis informed Steven.

Peridot pressed her palm against the lapis lazuli's head. "Lazuli, are you sick? Though I don't think gems can get sick.... Quick, say something idiotic!"

"I blame you." Jasper told the green gem. "Always talking about smart stuff. You even made _Lapis_ kind of smart! I mean, she's Lapis!"

"I never knew you two could be so cruel." Lapis commented, rolling her eyes.

"Are you guys _sure_ I can't come on the mission?" Steven questioned.

"Some artifacts are in the North. And they're pretty dangerous, so... yes, we're sure." The lapis replied.

"But mini-golf is awesome!" The preteen protested.

"I'm sure it is, dude." Lapis agreed, before walking onto the warp pad.

"It has castles, and windmills and stuff!" He shouted.

"Mhm." Jasper nodded, joining Lapis. Peridot followed.

"I got my dad's golf clubs, and his old golf pants! _Jasper_ could fit them! Maybe." Steven continued.

"Bye!" The three gems called, warping away.

"We'll bring you a memento!" Lapis yelled.

Steven sighed, holding the golf pants. He leaned backwards before falling onto his back. "You three aren't the _only_ ones having a perilous adventure today!"

"Wow, that was a big word, Steven." He complimented himself. "Yeah, I know, right? We must've picked it up from Peridot."

__

The TV screen flashed the words Golf Quest Mini. Steven lounged on the couch facing it, clutching his controller. A bag of Chaaps was on the sofa beside him.

"Aw yeah!" The boy shouted eagerly, loading his save.

An NPC gave his character a item, which Steven seemed thrilled about. "You've received the Mythril Putter!"

"Don't worry, professor..." The gamer read the text his character was speaking. "We're gonna sink 'em all!"

His in-game persona walked out of the professor's building, tailed by his two NPC friends.

"Uh-oh!" Steven murmured as a windmill confronted him.

He accepted the windmill's battle request, his character wielding his club, and missed a shot.

The preteen frowned, expressing signs of disappointment. _Aw, man._ He continued to play.

__

The next morning, Steven was still engaged in Golf Quest Mini, slight bags under his eyes from getting only four hours of sleep. He finally fell asleep at 2 am with the controller in his hand, and since the game kept playing without him, he had to load his last save and play over half the hours of gaming from the day before again.

He was fighting the professor, who had just begun to speak.

The boy read out the professor's lines. "You can't defeat me, I am the greatest golfer in the universe!"

The TV screen read Game Over, before switching to the words Secret Ending.

"Yes! Secret Ending!"

A musical swish played quietly as the Crystal Gems warped back home.

"Hey, Steven!" Jasper grinned.

"Hey" was Steven's absent-minded reply.

His persona was reading the words on an elevator door aloud. "Project F.L.O.G. That's golf backwards." The character clicked the down button on the side.

He arrived on a dark floor, with a machine shaped almost like an egg that was almost his height.

"What is this-"

Steven could feel himself being lifted into the air, and arms wrapped around his chest, neatly folding under his armpits. He looked up to see Lapis Lazuli by the shoulders.

"Hey!" She beamed. "Wanna hear about our mission?"

Steven glanced up at her, slightly surprised at her presence. Something dawned on him.

"Lapis, no! Put me down! Bad Lapis!"

Lapis removed her arms from around Steven's chest, letting him plummet onto the couch.

The preteen didn't even care, leaning closer to the TV to take in the scene.

His character wiped the foggy glass window of the machine, reading out the date. "June 9, 2014. That was the day he disappeared!"

Lapis used her grip on the couch, to swing herself over the back, landing on the floor in front of Steven.

"Lapis!" He groaned.

"Steven!" Jasper yelled in what Steven thought was an unnecessarily loud voice. "I'm making pizza bagels! You like cheese, right?"

"Shhhh!" Steven hissed, craning his neck around Lapis' short poofy hair to see the TV screen. "But yes." He added.

"Lapis, move out of the way." Peridot commanded, shoving the blue gem to the side. She was lugging a heavy-looking thing to a spot near the television.

"What's that?" Steven implored, momentarily distracted.

"It's what we found on our mission."

"You mean _I_ found it!" Jasper interjected from the kitchen. "It's a Wailing Stone!"

"Are you _sure_ we should trust her with cooking, Peri?" Lapis questioned.

"Well, according to you, my cooking sucks, so how would I know?"

"That's because it does!" Jasper shouted.

"No one asked you, Jasper!" Peridot snapped.

"Guys..." Steven complained, shutting his eyes to make his vision better. It didn't help him hear the TV.

"Do you grill pizza?" Jasper inquired, walking over in an apron that said, Don't Kiss the Chef. Seriously. and a spatula in her hand.

"What do you _think,_ Jasper?!" Peridot growled.

"Ah, of course. You boil it." Jasper realized, starting back towards the kitchen.

Peridot and Lapis didn't even hear her, for they were too busy hurling insults at each other.

"Guys." Steven repeated, raising his voice a little.

"I think I broke the oven!"Jasper told them, voice shrill.

"I thought you were boiling the pizza!" Lapis commented.

"You let her boil _pizza?"_ Peridot hissed, shaking her head. "I live with idiots."

Lapis frowned at her.

Peridot blinked. "Oh yeah, sorry. I live with idiots _and_ Steven."

The lapis lazuli leaned back, accidentally falling backwards and smacking the button on the top of the wailing stone with her hand when trying to catch herself.

An alarm-like noise filled the room, making everyone's ears ache. The Crystal Gems slapped their hands over their ears.

Steven glanced forlornly at the TV, which he could no longer hear. He tried to pay attention to the screen, but the stabbing pain in his ears was so intense that he felt woozy, and wrenched his eyes shut.

When he opened them, the television was black, and he could see his own reflection in it.

Lapis gingerly brought her hands down, surprised to notice that the noise had stopped.

"Why would you do that, you clod?!" Peridot asked, annoyed.

"I had to catch myself before I fell." Lapis pointed out.

The peridot sighed. "You can _fly,_ Lazuli."

Lapis blinked repeatedly. "Oh, right." She shrugged. "Well, at least we're all okay now. Plus, Steven loved it! Right, Gemi?"

Lapis and Peridot swiveled to look at Steven, who was laying on the floor with tears in his eyes, and was breathing rapidly.

"See? He's so joyful!" Lapis insisted weakly.

"Guys!" Steven exclaimed, scowling. "That was the secret ending! Now I have to redo the final dungeon!"

He glared at all the other Crystal Gems, including Jasper, who had just come over to the sofa. "It isn't FAIR!"

Steven shook with anger, his face turning as red as a tomato. He didn't even notice Peridot's reaction, which was a mix of disbelief and and sadness.

"I can't go mini-golfing, I can't play my game, and I can't watch the secret ending! I can't even get a healthy amount of sleep!" The furious kid shouted.

The Crystal Gems looked at the floor.

Lapis spoke up. "Maybe you should get some rest, Steven, and we can all play the game later."

"I don't want rest!" Steven yelled, completely outraged. "I wanted to go mini-golfing with you guys! But I couldn't do that, so I tried something else! But I couldn't even finish my game! And it's all-" Lapis winced. "YOUR-" The Crystal Gems stepped back. "FAULT!!!!"

He clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes bulging, as if it could somehow erase the words that had just spewed out. "I-I'm sorry. I just..." Steven slumped, laying his head against the arm of the sofa.

Peridot looked like she wanted to say something, but clearly thought better of it, since she had covered her mouth just like Steven.

Lapis spoke up. "It's okay, Gemi. You're grumpy and frustrated. It was partly my fault."

"Partly?" Jasper repeated, eyeing the lapis.

"Eh, completely." Lapis admitted. "But it's not like you said anything I haven't heard before. Plus, you didn't call me stupid, or a cold, or insinuate that I ruin everything, so I'm good."

Peridot sniffed. "I don't insinuate that you ruin everything. Just that you ruin _most_ things."

"I just wish I could have somewhere for myself, to relax or chill, and finish my game in peace." Steven revealed, head tilted so far towards the ceiling he almost didn't see his gem start to glow.

"Woah, my gem!"

The elevator on the other side of the house began to radiate pink light, the exact same shade as a rose quartz.

"Your gem is responding to your wish." Peridot told Steven, moving towards the elevator along with the others.

"What does _that_ mean?" The boy inquired.

"It means, your gem is opening your mother's room." Peridot replied.

The elevator door slid back, opening for Steven, and he started to walk in.

"Wait!" The others yelled in unison.

That was the last straw. Steven spun around, eyes stormy. "Why is it that it's never about what _I_ want to do, huh? How come _I_ never get a choice?"

Lapis, Jasper and Peridot opened and closed their mouths like goldfish, unable to answer.

"Well, fine then! This is my first decision in a long time. I'm going in, and don't even try to stop me, because you AREN'T ALLOWED to COME!" He shouted defiantly, before darting into the elevator without looking back.

Steven watched his family's worried faces get covered by the elevator door, which began to close. He looked around, noticing the color of the elevator was now a pale pink and the 6 walls, one holding the elevator door, were hexagonal. It looked nothing like the circular, blue glass-esque lift he used to go to Lapis' room or the green, sharp triangular one he stood in on his way to Peridot's. Steven looked down at the floor, which had a rose emblem engraved into the center of it, surrounded by a bigger circle filled with a checker-like diamond pattern.

The elevator door began to open by retracting into the wall beside it, and the other 4 walls sunk into the ground, leaving the platform he stood on and the wall the elevator slid into. Steven goggled at his surroundings.

A pink area with no apparent end surrounded the elevator's floor platform, which Steven reckoned was his mother's so-called room. It was completely composed of clouds in baby, salmon, rose, and other light shades of pink.

Steven squeezed his eyes shut and tentatively took a step forward, onto the clouds. He exhaled in relief at the surprisingly sturdy surface.

"I did it!" He cheered. "I made my own choice! Now none of the Crystal Gems can tell _me_ what to do."

Steven shrunk back in surprise when the platform he was standing on earlier vanished in a puff of blush pink smoke. "Okay then."

He turned to a big, puffy, cloud that floated a foot above the ground. The child suddenly had the urge to stick his hand in. Steven responded to his wish and thrust his whole forearm in before pulling it out soon after.

"You're definitely a cumulus, but not cold at all. I wonder what you're made of?" Steven murmured. Lapis and Peridot had taught him clouds were made of ice, but this one wasn't.

Steven saved that thought for another day and started to explore the cloudy expanse.

__

Steven trekked down the puffy terrain, looking out for... well, anything. But his mom's room seemed to be bare.

He shook his head in disbelief. "Not even a chair? Barest room I've ever seen."

Right after the words were spoken, a chair sprouted under him, pushing him into a seated position.

"Wow." Steven breathed, amazed.

He smiled widely. "A chair is nice, but how about a triple-decker bed?"

The chair turned into a bed, which shot up ten feet, two more beds forming under it.

"With a water slide!" A water slide appeared, already attached to the top bed. "But my clothes will get wet!" Steven's signature red t-shirt with a star on the front and denim board shorts were instantly replaced with pink trunks peppered with white stars, and a blue sarong was tied around his. Pink sunglasses sat on the bridge of Steven's nose.

"I look _fabulous!"_ He asserted, flipping the ends of his puffy, chin-length curls. Steven hopped onto the start of the slide.

Steven shrieked in surprise and delight as he slid down. The slide's design launched him into the air, and the dark-haired preteen hurtled down towards the ground.

"Um, a jetpack!" Steven exclaimed. He used it to safely zoom to the ground, giggling all the way.

"My clothes are a bit soggy, and I want my old ones back, please." He stated.

Steven was now back in his original attire. He dropped his jetpack, and it disappeared.

"Hmmmmm, what do I want next?"

"A panda!" A passive panda bear popped up, a piece of beige bamboo in its paw. The panda was pink and white instead of black and white.

Steven cooed and gave the bear a hug. He then began to think. "So, this place gives me anything I wish for?"

"Well, what I _really_ wish I could do is watch the ending of my game in peace." He acknowledged.

An exact replica of the living room TV popped into existence with Golf Quest Mini already inside the PlayStation hooked up to it, along with the living room sofa.

"Awesome!" Steven high-fived the panda beside him and sat down to watch the ending.

Onscreen, Steven's character pressed a button on the giant egg shaped pod, and the window hatch opened up. A man sat up from inside the pod, beginning to wave. "It's me, your father. After decades of cryostasis, I'm finally free!"

The scene changed to a hill where the character and his father stood. "Saving the world is just par for the course!"

The words Game Over flashed over a stillframe of the family.

"That was incredible!"

Steven felt a rumbling ache in his stomach. "Oh, I guess I'm kind of hungry!" A donut with chocolate frosting dropped into his free hand.

"Alright, my favorite!" The curly-haired adolescent shoved it into his mouth, but as soon as the doughnut grazed his lips, the donut evaporated in a puff of pink smoke, startling him. Steven scoffed.

"I mean a _real_ donut." Steven demanded. Another donut appeared, but this one was just as... cloudy.

He sighed. "Well, I guess I'll have to _leave_ to get some food. Jasper was making something earlier."

The elevator showed up a foot away from him, and he stepped inside.

Shortly after, Steven walked out of the elevator, slightly hangry.

"Don't get too excited, guys. I only came back for some food. So, Jasper, what did you end u-" He trailed off, shocked by the emptiness of the house.

"Eh, whatever, they're probably just on another mission. Without me, as usual. I didn't want to eat with them anyway." Steven remarked with a scowl. His face softened, allowing for a stream of hurt and sadness to show for a small window of time. "But it is kind of weird that they didn't leave me a note or anything. Not even food."

"I don't want to heat up food." Steven decided, walking out the front door onto the beach.

__

Steven nudged the door to Big Donut open, bounding in with a toothy smile.

"How's the employees of the best donut shop in Beach City doing?" He queried, placing his arms on the counter.

When Lars and Sadie didn't respond, he resumed with his order. "I'm thinking two cream-cheese and bacon bagels, since it's dinnertime, after all, and a jelly donut for dessert."

Neither Lars' nor Sadie's closed-mouth smiles wavered, and Steven suddenly realized how weird they looked. Their expressions hadn't changed at all since he'd walked in.

"Um... _guys?"_ Steven uttered, becoming more unsettled by the minute. The two seemed to ignore him.

"This isn't a prank or something, right? If it is, it's kind of mean." The kid added. Lars was his best friend, but wouldn't sacrifice a chance to play a trick on him.

Suddenly, Lars and Sadie reacted. "Hello Steven, what kind of donut would you like?" They chirped in unison, mouths moving the exact same way.

Steven furrowed an eyebrow. "But didn't I ju-"

"It's always nice to see you, Steven." Sadie and Lars continued.

Steven couldn't help smiling. "Aw, it's nice to see you t-"

"Here's your donut, Steven." The employees told him, and a Big Donut bag landed in his arms.

"Whoa, nice throw! But I ordered-"

"Okay, Steven, we love you! Bye-bye now!" Lars and Sadie backed out of the front of the store, seeming to almost glide across the floor, feet never touching the ground.

Steven raced after them, ignoring the uneasy feelings lingering in the back of his mind. "Wait up! Why are you guys leaving? I never got a chance to pay for these-"

He burst open the back door and hurried outside, where the rear parking lot was bare except for a lone green van. The stars shone in the dark sky.

Something wasn't... right. Steven whipped his head between the flickering streetlights and the stars repeatedly, before his eyes locked onto a person under the one lamppost which light beamed steadily.

"Onion!" Steven cried, speeding toward the familiar face. "Did you see Lars and Sadie? I followed them out, but I didn't see where they went next."

Onion looked at Steven, never breaking his gaze.

 _Well, at least_ you're _still the same._ The half-gem thought.

"Uh, just let me know if you see them, okay?" Steven requested awkwardly. He offered the mute child a donut.

Soon after, he speed-walked down the boardwalk, tense.

 _All the lights are on, and yet there's no one here except me._ Steven observed, sprinting past Beach City Walk Fries.

Steven froze as something clicked in his mind, and he took steps backwards until he got to the fry booth. "PD?"

PD stood at the fry booth in the Frybo suit, and handed Steven fry bits.

"Any other day, I'd definitely want these, but I'm just a little too... on edge for foo-"

Steven trailed off, eyes wide, when he saw PD. The boy had placed another container of fry bits down on the first one, and the second one faded into the first, aligning so perfectly that they looked like a single carton.

PD held another box of fry bits and did it again, causing Steven to shriek.

"Y-You know what?" He murmured, backing away slowly. "I-I'm gonna go..."

Steven turned and dashed away without even a glance back.

__

Steven ambled through the amusement park. All the lights there were off except for the bright, flickering ones on some of the rides.

He paused in front of the arcade, but sprinted away when all the games and lights inside turned on simultaneously.

As Steven neared the shore, he caught a glimpse of long, dark hair. He gasped and charged towards the girl facing the ocean.

"Connie, it's _you!"_ Steven cried in disbelief. "I thought you were out of town! When did you ge-"

He stopped as he noticed the water, which was moving in the exact same way over and over, hardly any waves. Almost like... an animation loop, Steven thought.

"What the... Oh, _Connie,_ you wouldn't believe the day I've had. Uh, night, actually." The preteen gushed.

Connie said nothing. "Uh, Connie?"

His friend turned to face him. Steven noticed that Connie was wearing the blue and white t-shirt and jeans she had worn on their quest to the movies with Lion, and that her wavy dark locks were wet.

Connie brought her hands to her hair, and started to wring her hair out. "That... was _amazing."_

Steven was about to reply, but Connie stopped wringing her hair out for a second, and the water droplets that had just plopped from her locks onto the sand were nowhere to be found. The girl brought her hands to hair again and started to wring it out, squeezing out the droplets, and repeated her earlier statement.

Steven watched the streams of water soak the sand beneath her, then disappear as Connie repeated the action and words again. And again. And again and again and again and again and agai-

Steven wanted to scream. To bound away, never looking back. But his feet were glued to the sand, his mouth to dry for him to croak out a yell. And Steven was so scared that he was exhausted.

He had shrieked out all his shrieks, at Frybo, at the Amusement Park. He had screamed internally at so many things today, in this weird, messed up version of his world.

Steven kept thinking this, but managed to scramble back on his hands and feet, his limbs working faster than his brain. Just as he was about to push himself up onto his feet, the back of his skull collided with bone.

Steven craned his neck to see Kofi standing behind him with a neutral expression, with Jenny, Kiki, Nanafua, and many other of Beach City's residents also by the shore. Their faces looked weird and unnatural, making Steven shudder.

The magical boy swerved around his neighbors, bag of donuts still in hand, desperate to find someone normal. Even Lioness was acting odd, and Steven had paused for a second to watch his pal in disbelief before sidestepping the feline and racing away. Suddenly, he felt the sandy terrain around him shift, and he looked down to see that he was on sand steps, high above the beach. A tall silt pillar was erected many yards to the side, and before Steven could attempt to bound towards it, the stairs he was standing on began to collapse.

Steven felt the grainy stairs dissipate, and his body began to fall through the sand below instead of hitting the beach. After falling through layers and layers of sand, his body hit... pavement?

 _Ouch, that_ hurt. Steven was completely out of breath, his limbs sore from overexertion. He relaxed onto the blacktop, the cool asphalt soothing his overheated body.

Steven wanted to get up, but his head was bruised and sore from hitting the pavement. For a moment, he wondered how he was still alive. Peridot hadn't taught him too much about the human body, but she had at least informed him of what was deadly and dangerous.

Steven was pretty sure any other kid would've been dead by now. Lucky for him, he was magical.

Steven rolled over, flinching at the pain rippling through his muscles as he did so. He managed to push himself up onto his arms, similar to a plank, arms throbbing and wobbling weakly.

He located his intact donuts, still in the bag, and turned back to his original position when he looked up, shock paralyzing him.

Steven was sprawled out onto the road in front of It's A Wash. He wondered how exactly he got there, but lost his train of thought as the door opened, and Greg walked out...

He was seemingly normal, relieving Steven. Greg smiled and opened his arms, offering a hug. "Hey there, Schtu-ball."

Steven charged into his father's welcoming arms, ignoring the soreness of his bruises. All the fear, and pain, and hurt, and loneliness that Steven had felt that day came tumbling out of the sheet he had hid them behind. Tears cascaded from his eyes as he embraced his dad tightly, joyful to see him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Schtu-ball, you okay?" Greg questioned worriedly, drying his son's tear with his meaty palm. Steven shook his head, burying his tear-streaked face into his father's t-shirt. "Well, I'm sorry you're not feeling so good. You wanna tell me what's wrong?"

Steven thought he felt bad before, but his father's attentiveness and affection caused his even worse feelings and thoughts to bubble up to the surface. Now he was sure something was very wrong and that he wanted and needed to talk about it.

The whole story poured out of him, from being ditched by the Crystal Gems to the weird things that happened with Frybo. Greg listened, really listened, and even gave Steven a bottle of fruit punch, which he downed in a few gulps.

"And now I feel like I'm in some creepy fever dream!" Steven finished, blowing his nose with the tissue supplied by his dad before balling it up. "Well, I _felt_ like that. I guess I still do, a little bit."

He opened up his paper bag, passing Greg a bagel and taking another for himself. Steven watched as his father devoured the food, waiting for some legendary advice.

"Well, the most important thing is that you were honest." Greg told him.

Steven eyed his father. "Um, y-yeah, I guess I was."

Greg spoke up again, sensing his son wasn't satisfied with his recent advice. "Well, the important thing is, no one's in jail." He played a few chords of air guitar.

Steven stared at his donut, then his dad, and began to laugh. Greg joined in, though he wasn't sure why they were laughing.

"You know, it's the funniest thing," Steven started, grinning at Greg. "In my dream, my donut disappeared when I ate-"

The curly-haired half-gem shrunk back in horror as the bagel in his hand dissipated.

"Oh, no." He whispered. "I never left the room!"

"None of this is real!" Steven shouted. "This is all _fake!"_

His father vanished, and soon after, so did his van, which they were sitting on moments before.

Steven hit the ground with a smack, and then sat up."This is all wrong! I don't like this!"

He looked around to see a chunk of the asphalt disappear with a weird video game sound accompanying it, leaving a dark hole with stars. Before he could register what just happened, more pieces of the car wash disappeared, and Steven knew he had to run.

He ran towards his house, barreling up the hill behind it as sections of earth came out of existence. Which didn't make much sense, given the fact that Peridot had told him matter could never be created or destroyed, but Steven guessed that the rules must be different in a magical pocket universe.

A hunk of the knoll under Steven's foot dissipated, throwing off his balance and causing him to fall back. Luckily, he caught himself by stretching out his arms and stepping firmly on a piece of the inselberg with one foot. More pieces of the hill vanished, including Steven's thin foothold, but he managed to grab onto one of the last chunks of the universe left.

Steven caught a glimpse of the former fake Beach City, now almost completely erased from existence before he toppled into the void below.

Steven screamed as he dropped, the emptiness seeming to go on forever.

"I don't want this!" He cried.

The pink panda appeared. "Well, what _do_ you want, Steven?"

Its voice seemed familiar and beautiful, startling him for a second. But it didn't change Steven's true feelings. "I want to go home! I want to be with the gems!"

He reached out to the panda, attempting to cuddle it, but it disappeared too. Steven curled up into a ball and braced himself as he hurtled down towards... nothing?

__

Lapis pulled up water from the ocean, flying into the temple and attempting to douse the flames scorching it. Some of the water doused Peridot, too, and she shook off the liquid as she continued her calculations.

"Taking into account the nature of the fire, our supplies, the things already damaged and the amount of things it will damage based on how long it'll take you to put the fire out-"

"How do _you_ know how long it'll take _me?"_ Lapis snarked.

"Well, based on your commitment to solving situations like this, the intensity of the effect each fluid ounce of water has on the fire, the amount of flames, how fast the fire will spread, how many fluid ounces of water you bring each lap from here to the ocean and back on average, how long it takes you to get the water each time on average, past data, the odds you'll get distracted by me or some random raccoon you find in the dumpster, the odds that you end up fueling the flames..." Peridot answered in a monotone voice. "I could go on. You're very predictable."

Lapis reached out to smack Peridot, who had dodged a moment before she made the attack. "Told you."

The lapis grumbled and turned away to go get more water. "Wait, why don't I just bring water here without moving?"

"I could've told you that, but I knew if I did you'd probably say it was stupid."

__

Steven shot out of the elevator, and plopped onto the floor, greeted with flames.

"Lapis! Peridot!" He bounded up to Lapis, who stopped manipulating water immediately, and chomped her arm.

"Yo." She responded, not at all bothered about being bit. "Glad you're safe."

"Hello, Steven." Peridot waved, not looking up from her holo-screens. "Evidently, it was a _terrible_ idea for us to let Jasper cook."

"So _that's_ why the house is engulfed in flames." Steven replied, sitting on the floor. His eyes widened. "Wait, where's Jasper?"

"She's getting us pizza in exchange for almost burning down the house, and after she brings it back and you guys eat, she's leaving town to get supplies to fix the house." Peridot informed him.

In the time Steven was distracted, Lapis had somehow already gotten water. Wow, was she fast. Lapis dumped the water on the fire. "Guys, I think I got it that time!"

Steven sighed and rummaged through the Lapis safety kit, going through the kitchen cabinets and then the fridge when he couldn't find anything.

He pulled out a can of whipped cream, and sprayed some into his hand and sniffed it. Steven nodded, knowing it was what he was looking for.

The preteen walked back to the fire and sprayed the can's contents at the blaze. The fire died soon after.

"Nice job, Steven." Lapis winked.

Steven did a thumbs-up. "Actually, it's thanks to _you_ for putting fire extinguisher in the can."

"How do you know that? It's not because you drank it, right? I don't know as much about human behavior as Lapis, but I'm pretty sure that's like poison for you." Peridot rambled.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, it doesn't matter. _I'm_ the hero." Lapis boasted, before doing the renegade.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take away your internet." Peridot told her. "You're not a hero. You solved the problem you caused, and you the only reason you solved it is because you happened to try to poison Steven."

"Hey, it wasn't just _me_ who let Jasper cook!"

"How is _that_ the point you argue with?" Steven questioned.

"Guys, I got pizza!" Jasper yelled, crashing through and breaking the front door.

Lapis rolled her eyes. "Really, Jasper?"

"Well, another item on the list of things to fix."

"Guys, I'm sorry for lashing out at you and ignoring your advice. I just wanted to hang with you." Steven confessed.

"Well, it's not only your fault. We need to learn how to be human. That is, understand your emotions and read your social and emotional cues to help you deal with your emotions." Lapis stated.

"And try to make time for you, no matter what." Jasper added.

"I love you guys." Steven cried, crushing them into a hug.

"We love you too." They all answered.


	8. Crystal Clones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven does something dumb. Again. Except this time with a time machine.

"Okay, let's go over the game plan again!" Peridot stood in front of a portable chalkboard with the other Crystal Gems seated facing her.

Steven was eager to help his family with this mission, but even he was getting restless.

He sensed the reason that Peridot felt she needed to review the mission was more than the fact that he hadn't been to the Sea Shrine before. It wasn't like Steven was intuitive or anything, Peridot had just explained this plan of hers to them... ten? twenty times? Steven didn't know; he had stopped counting after she put her holo-screens down and rolled the chalkboard into the center of the room.

The most likely cause of Peridot's cautious and perfection craze modes being activated was Lapis. Something about the other gem just seemed to rile her up lately, more than usual, which was saying something.

Jasper blew one of her long, curly, apricot-hued locks out of her eyes while Steven lounged on her spacious lap. Lapis hovered just over the floor next to them.

"Steven, the mission?" Peridot requested.

Steven blinked owlishly, pleasantly surprised at being called on, before a serene half-smile stretched across his face. "Um, we're going to the room just beside us, to retrieve a time machine. Well, it's basically a time machine."

"And why is it so important?"

"Because if we pick the wrong one, we can't access the room again for a thousand years." replied Steven.

"Actually, it's a hundred." Lapis informed him.

"So we have to be..." Peridot trailed off, looking pointedly at Lapis and Jasper.

"Careful." grumbled Jasper.

"Good job, Jasper!" Peridot exclaimed, as if she were speaking to a toddler.

Jasper averted her eyes, cheeks scarlet from embarrassment. "Stop. I'm not that much younger than you, and you know it."

"Don't talk to your mother like that." Lapis chided the quartz, shaking her head before snickering.

"Okay, guys, let's go!" Steven interjected.

Peridot folded up the chalkboard and stored it in her gem. "Yes, you're right, Steven. We've reviewed quite enough."

"Finally." Jasper muttered.

__

Steven pressed his nose against a large hourglass, peering through it at a deformed-looking Lapis. The shape of it had distorted her looks. He giggled as he watched her seemingly curved body walk around.

Peridot walked up to Steven. "Found anything?"

Steven pointed to a small spherical time instrument with a grin. "It's this one, I can feel it."

"I think it's this one." Jasper told them, pointing to an hourglass with a cone-shaped top and cone-shaped bottom.

Lapis raced up behind Peridot. "I got it!"

Peridot jumped, and turned to see Lapis with a water clock surrounded by her clear wings.

"I bet that's the right one! We haven't seen anything like that one before." Steven pointed out.

Lapis nodded, but when she turned to give Steven a fist bump, the weight she carried on her back was heavier on one side than the other, sending her tumbling forward. Lapis' wings shot out instinctively to save her, and the water clock rolled down her arched back and hit the back of her neck.

Lapis let out a breath. "Caught it."

Almost instantly, water began to seep through cracks between the walls and the floor, and Lapis knew she had picked the wrong one.

Peridot clapped her hand to her forehead in frustration and disbelief at her friend's stupidity.

Jasper grabbed Steven and charged towards the warp.

"Coming!" Lapis yelled, grasping the water clock and running away from the salty seawater flooding the place along with Peridot.

Just as their feet met the warp pad, Steven wrenched himself out of Jasper's protective grip and surged back to the gushing water.

"Steven, what are you doing?!" Peridot cried, her breaths quickening. "You're not Lapis, you can't do stupid things like jump off a cliff and survive!"

"She's right, you're really not!" shouted Lapis.

Steven didn't cease his dash to the flooded part of the room. "If Lapis gets to keep her thing, I get to keep mine to!"

"Okay, but we don't really care anymore if Lapis does something dumb! She's done it for years and will probably never die from it! But you, you're most likely going to die!" Jasper responded bluntly.

Steven got to the time sphere, where a wave was just about to crash onto him. He braced himself, but nothing happened. All Steven heard were a few drops. One fell onto Steven's lips, which he tasted, and he now knew they were... salty drops?

Steven glanced up at the wave, which was now falling towards him in slow motion. He grabbed the time sphere, cradling it in his hand. "Hi there, I'm your new friend Steven."

The boy pocketed it and bounded back to the warp pad, desperate to get back to his family.

As Steven buried his face into Jasper's stomach, out of breath and feet planted firmly on the warp pad, he could hear the waves splashing the floor. Peridot activated the warp, and they were all transported back home.

Peridot frowned, attempting to squeeze the seawater out of her turtleneck sweater, which hung limply on her body. "Thanks a lot, Lazuli."

"You're welcome." Lapis replied absentmindedly as she squeezed saltwater out into her water cup for watercolor. "Oh, you were being sarcastic, weren't you?"

Jasper just sighed and went to go get a hairdryer.

Steven wrung his shirt out, smiling at Lapis gently. "Don't worry, Lapis. It's not your fault you ruin lots of stuff."

Peridot snickered.

"Thanks, Gemi." Lapis replied with a slight grimace.

Jasper came back with a hair dryer and gave it to Peridot.

"Thank you, Jasper." She told the jasper cordially, and dried herself off.

Once Peridot was dry, Lapis glanced at her. "Are you still mad?"

She glared at Lapis, before turning to Steven. "Did you hear something?"

"Oh, stop acting so petty. You know you love me."

"No, I don't." insisted Peridot, inching away from the still-soaked lapis lazuli.

"You haven't killed me yet, so you clearly at least care about me."

"She's probably right, Peri. Lapis is pretty annoying, but even even when I feel like poofing her, I don't, because she's my family." Jasper stated. "Plus it'd probably traumatize Steven."

Steven nodded. "It would."

"I don't know how to feel about that." Lapis managed.

"Be grateful I can tolerate you." Jasper responded simply.

__

Steven ran downstairs, excited. "Lapis, Lapis! My alarm just went off!"

Lapis looked up from her sketchbook, which she closed and left on the counter.

"You know what that means!" Steven exclaimed, grabbing his .

"Yeah, Gemi, I do. Let's go!" Lapis grinned and jumped up from her seat, and they both sprinted out the door. Steven paused at the last stair before hitting the Beach and turned back towards the house.

"Bye, Jasper! Godspeed, Peridot! We're going to see Dad to practice for Beach-A-Palooza!"

"We know, Steven! As if you haven't ranted and raved about it for the past week!" Jasper responded.

"The mission was awesome!" Steven shouted from outside, climbing onto Lapis' back.

"Do svidanya, Steven! We love you!" Peridot yelled.

"Love you too! Bye!" Lapis spread her wings and flew up into the sky, soaring in the direction of It's A Wash.

Steven had been waiting for this for weeks. I mean. who wouldn't want to spend an afternoon with two of their favorite people?

Lapis "She said it." Lapis murmured under her breath. "It's not just me, right? You heard her? She said it."

"Yes, all your pestering was worth it." Steven replied. He had watched her chase after Peridot with a bucketful of water in her hands, threatening to drench the green gem until she admitted it.

"I knew she loved me." Lapis insisted with a grin. "Wait, no, don't look at me like that, Gemi, you know that's not what I meant. I knew she loved me in a platonic way. I'm not one of your romance novel characters, don't build a ship."

"What?" Steven squeaked with an awkward, uncomfortable smile. "No. Me? Never."

He eyed the car wash eagerly, itching to make some music. A truck that towed Yellowtail's boat was pulling into the wash, and Greg stood near it, herding it in. Lapis slowed the beat of her wings and swooped down to get closer to the ground, planning to land soon.

All at once, Yellowtail, who was driving the truck, wedged it in, to find that it was stuck in the wash. Greg was obviously going to have to spend the rest of the day getting it out.

Lapis sighed and quickened the flapping of her wings, ready to fly back. "Well, that's that. Guess we're not performing together. I'm gonna take a nap when we get back."

"Lapis, wait!" exclaimed Steven, and she halted. "We can still do a duet!"

"Nah, it just won't be the same."

Lapis fluttered her wings, rising from the blacktop with Steven still perched on her back, and started to return home.

Steven frowned. "I wish I could've warned Dad that the truck wasn't gonna fit."

When he looked up, he and Lapis were back in the sky, flying towards the car wash.

"How did I...." Lapis stared at her position in awe.

Steven couldn't exactly tell her, but he had a feeling he knew the answer. He peered down at the car wash below him, catching sight of his father.

"Lapis, do what you did before, but go a little closer to Dad!" Steven told her.

Lapis shrugged, then swooped down so that she was in the view of Greg, who was guiding the boat into the wash. Steven planted one foot on the ground and swung the other leg over to the same side.

Steven cupped his hands around his mouth and charged towards his father, yelling, "Dad, FAT!"

"Rude!" Greg responded, covering the rolls of chub on his stomach self-consciously.

"No, he means the boat! You slay, Greg!" Lapis shouted.

Steven's father turned back to Yellowtail and his boat, with widened eyes as he realized what the two were saying was true. "Wait, Yellowtail! The boat won't fit, go back, go back!"

Steven smiled triumphantly. "You know what this means, Lapis? We saved my dad!"

Yellowtail zoomed back, crashing into a pole, which fell onto the truck.

"It's fine." Steven insisted to a wincing Lapis.

The truck set on fire.

"Yep, totally fine."

The flames spread to It's A Wash, now an inferno that completely surrounded the car wash.

"Perfect." Lapis finished, with a forced grin. "Oh, stars, we just made it worse, didn't we?"

Steven nodded. "I wish we could go back, to before I talked to Dad."

__

Steven had waiting for this for weeks. I mean, who wouldn't want to spend an afternoon with their two favorite people?

"She said it." Lapis murmured under her breath. "It's not just me, right? She said it."

"Yes, all your pestering was worth it."

"I knew she loved me." Lapis insisted with a grin. "Wait, no, don't look at me like that, Gemi, you know that's not what I meant. I knew she loved me in a platonic wayyyyyy...." The lapis trailed off, and then her words turned into a scream as she saw something blue hurtling towards her and Steven.

Lapis dove down, shielding Steven from a possible blow, and the blue thing, which had something beige? red? on top of it–Steven couldn't exactly tell.

The entity screeched to a stop, and turned to face Steven and Lapis. Steven was too dizzy to see them clearly, but he did know the thing was blue, and looked kind of like a human. The thing on top of it was definitely a human, and as it stretched its arm up to rub its eyes, it shirt scooted up, revealing a pink, hexagonal gem lodged in its stomach.

"Did it work?" The human–no, it had to have been a half-gem, like Steven, since it had a gem–inquired, looking down at the blue humanoid under him.

It–well, she, maybe–snorted. "You tell me."

The human boy stared across from him, where Steven was perched atop Lapis. Steven's vision was fine now, and he met the boy's eyes, only to realize that the preteen looked.... familiar....

"Oh, Gemi, come on, it's you!" Lapis told him. "You really didn't figure that out?"

"No." He responded honestly.

"Listen to me, Steven, don't go to Dad." The other Steven advised.

"Huh?"

"Trust me, the boat is fat." He stated.

"Okay?"

Lapis raised an eyebrow, and the other Lapis copied her. "Why are you here? And how?"

Steven gasped. "The time thingie, it worked, didn't it?!"

"Wow, you really know your stuff, don't you?"

"In normal life and music!" Steven chirped.

"Whoa, imagine if we made music.... with ourselves." one Steven breathed, glancing down at his respective Lapis.

She shrugged. "Sure, I have nothing better to do, I guess."

"What about you, Steven and Lapis, are you guys in?" He queried.

"Definitely!" Steven exclaimed, and his Lapis nodded.

__

After retrieving a few more Steven and Lapis', the band was finally ready. With the Lapis' on bass, guitar, xylophone and keyboard, and the Stevens on drums, vocals, tambourine, and ukelele, they were just starting their first song.

(To the tune of Steven and the Stevens)

 _Can't you see it in our eyes,_ The lead singer started, _We're the ones, we're the–_

The first Lapis and Steven called out _One,_ the second _Two,_ and so on.

The first Steven continued, _We're not like the other guys,_

One lapis added, _We're not like anyone else, well,_

 _Can't say that's true for me,_ The lead Steven and the bass-playing Lapis sang, while the others harmonized. _When standing with you three!_

All of them crooned, _Time to meet the Crystal Clones, unlike the bands you've known,_

 _'Cause, me, myself and I,_ Steven pointed to his look-alikes, _And them,_ he gestured to the Lapis Lazulis, and all the band members continued, _Are the same gemstones!_

_Time to meet the Crystal Clones, no reason to bemoan,_

The guitar-playing Lapis choired. _Cause me, myself, and I, and them,_

 _And we!_ The Stevens yelled!

The lead Steven finished, _Are the same gemstones._

"Great tambourine playing, Steven!" One Steven complimented.

"Thanks, Steven!" The other replied.

"Don't you think so, Lapis?" The first Steven inquired.

The lapides lazuli were doing a number of things. One was doing an improv tune, another was showing them memes, and the last two were sprawled out on the couch. They all answered with a "Eh."

"Oh, and by the way, I wanna sing lead this time, Gemi." added a lapis, his mike already in her hand.

"But, I usually do it with Dad."

"Us too!" The other Stevens stated. "We're all Steven!"

"Well, we do need some kind of leader..." Steven trailed off, rubbing his jaw. "I got it! Let's vote!"

After every gem(and half-gem) had cast their ballot into the baseball cap they had deemed The Voting Hat, one Lapis would pick out each one and read them out.

Every band member held their breath as she pulled one out of the hat.

Lapis Lazuli smiled, and stated, "Lapis," before reading out more. "Lapis, Steven.... This one's in pretty rough Gem Glyph, but I think it's... Lapis?"

A lapis chuckled.

The lapis lazuli reciting the ballots resumed."Um, Steven, Steven. And this one's in Russian. Really, Lapis?"

Everyone grimaced at one Lapis and shook their heads in disgust and disappointment.

"Hey, hey, it wasn't me, I swear."

"It says... Peridot." Lapis informed the band.

The lapides lazuli and Stevens all turned, to see Peridot sitting at the counter using her holo-screens, faced away from them.

"What?" questioned the peridot, without so much as a glance back at them. "With enough calculations and knowledge of physics, anything's possible."

"I don't know what game you two are playing, but you should quiet down." Peridot advised.

"Two?" A Steven sputtered with a snicker.

Peridot spun her chair around to see the eight of them. "Steven–"

"I can explain! It was La–"

"You used the time machine to fix something by accident, met your past self and decided to start a band."

"Uh, yeah, basically." Steven uttered. "But how did you know?"

The corners of Peridot's mouth quirked up."Well, Jasper told me about Greg's dilemma–she's helping him now, actually–and my computer sensed strange 'magical' activity. Honestly, the chances of you doing something like this were high compared to other possibilities, especially since Lapis wouldn't even try to talk you out of it."

"True." The lapis lazulis agreed.

"I had tea–" Peridot saw the band's confused looks. "Well, I sniffed tea earlier to soothe myself just in case."

One Steven raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"SnORt tEA erRi-dAy!" A lapis yelled, doing the Smoke Weed Everyday dance.

"It's all the lapis lazulis!" The rest chanted, dancing with her. "And we don't remember the rest of these!"

"That's why." Peridot told him. "I'm going to my room."

"Kay-kay, bye, Peridot!" All the Stevens bid her adieu in unison, waving as she used the elevator to go to her room in the temple.

The Lapis who counted the votes spoke up. "So anyway, Lapis won."

All the lapides lazuli shrugged. "Huh, cool."

"Yeah, but which one?" A Steven wanted to know.

They looked at one another, puzzled. "Uhhhh....."

"Can we have a recount?" another Steven requested weakly, who was then presumed to have been the deciding vote.

"Yeah, but first, we have to decide how to tell each other apart." one Steven decided.

__

After some decision, the three youngest lapis lazulis(but only by a few minutes) shapeshifted their hairstyles, and Steven had deemed one Ponytail, one Pixie, and the last Curls. He had also written 2, 3, and 4 on the other Stevens' heads.

Everyone voted for themselves (or their respective Stevens, in the case of the Lapides Lazuli), causing some tension, but they all eventually agreed that the oldest of them should be the leader. Which technically would have been the Lapis that kept her hairdo, but she passed the job over to Steven.

"Okay, does everyone remember their roles?" Steven asked.

"The funny one," replied Steven Two. Steven Three was the sensitive one, and Steven Four was the smart one. Steven was proud he had drilled this into them.

"And you, Lazulis?"

Ponytail responded, "The mean one," Lapis knew she was the artistic one, and Curls was the dumb one.

Lapis posed a question. "What are you, Gemi?"

"The handsome one!" Steven boasted, brushing his curls forwards.

"But what am I?" Pixie queried.

Steven sighed. "You're the innocent one, Pixie, how many times do we have to go through this?"

Curls snickered. "Yeah, Pixie."

"Hey, that's mean." Steven Two chided her.

"Curls, you're the dumb one! And Steven Two, you're the funny one, not the sensitive one."

"Hey, I just realized that out of all the Stevens, your character basis is the most two-dimensional." Ponytail noted.

"Ponytail, that was too smart an observation for the mean one to make–even though I'm just realizing that it was kind of mean."

"Speaking of your character, how come you're the handsome one?" implored Lapis, arms crossed.

"Yeah!" The other Stevens agreed.

"Especially because gems don't really have sex or gender." Ponytail informed him.

All the Stevens gasped. "Wait, really? I thought Lapis was a girl."

"None of the Crystal Gems are girls. All gems are technically agender, but usually use she/her pronouns.

"Ah." Steven nodded. "Well, I wanted to be the handsome one because I'm fabulous!" He struck a pose, hands on hips.

"We all are!" Steven Three cried.

"True, but–"

"We should become models!" Steven Two suggested.

"Hey, he–"

Pixie nodded. "You should. I have connections."

"Me too." added Ponytail.

"Me three!" Steven Three interjected, and Two and Four burst into giggles along with him.

Steven tried to get them to settle down, but it was like they couldn't hear him, too eager to crack jokes and do what they wanted to listen to anything he had to say.

__

Steven was on the deck sitting on the edge of the pool, jean shorts rolled up and feet dipped into the water. Rays of sun illuminated and warmed the back of his red t-shirt as he sulked.

Lapis opened the screen door, stepping out onto the deck before closing it again. She walked over to Steven, kneeling next to the pool.

"You okay, Gemi?" Lapis prodded gently. Steven looked away from her, scowling, and she chuckled. "Sorry, that was a dumb question. What I mean is, what's wrong? Specifically, because I've got a general idea of what's bothering you."

Steven's cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and shame. "It's nothing, I just... never knew I was so–so aggravating!"

"Lucky you. I already knew I was." Lapis quipped. "I don't exactly know how to stop it from playing in your head over and over like a scraped-up CD–"

"Because everyone is different?" guessed Steven.

Lapis crossed her arms, smiling crookedly. Steven had never seen her seem so... awkward before. "Ha ha, no. Because it still plays in mine."

"I guess you should find out how to fix this yourself." Lapis advised Steven, going back inside the house.

Steven lounged there for a while, contemplating his next moves, as the ground started to vibrate and shake, and he held onto the porch desperately. He almost didn't notice as the quaking of the ground was accompanied with drums, before the trembling of the earth subsided. He could suddenly hear the drum a lot clearer, and the other instruments coordinating with it, and some... screams? He really hoped they weren't scream.

He got up, shaking his feet around to dislodge most of the chlorine before sliding the door open and trudging inside to absolute disaster.

The lapis lazulis no longer had seperate hairstyles– their mops of hair were now messy and chin-length just like usual.

Steven Two clutched the mic, screaming into it. _Steven! St-St-St-Steven! St-St-St-Steven! And L-L-L-Lapis! St-St-St-Steven! St-St-St-St–_

 _Steven's a big fat meanie!_ Steven Two chanted, holding the mike as the lapides harmonized. _A big fat meanie zucchini!_

A lapis who strummed her bass guitar, paised briefly to flash the Rock On sign before resuming the chords.

Steven Two continued to shout into the mic. _Chop-chop it up, chop-chop it up, and put it in linguini!_

Steven goggled at his newly-turned heavy metal band in horror.

 _Al Denteeeeeeee!_ Steven Two yelled as Steven scowled at his former band members.

Steven stretched his arm out toward the new lead singer. _Al Denteeeeee! Al Denteeeeeee! Al De–_ Steven Two stopped short as his voice suddenly seemed much, much quieter, and the rest of the band ceased the playing of their instruments. He looked down at his hands, which were empty.

The band glanced up to see Steven glaring at them, the microphone in his hand and arms akimbo. "Hey, what do you guys think you're doing?!"

Everyone in the band froze and dropped their instruments abruptly, except for Steven Two, who continued to stand his ground. "We're making music, Steven."

"I never thought I would hear such sass... from myself!" Steven remarked, before focusing on the matter at hand. "I thought we all agreed this band was going to play lighthearted rock, like the good old days of Elvis Parsley and Chuck Perry!"

"Actually, Steven, we never agreed to that, you just told us." One lapis lazuli corrected him.

Steven frowned, voice cracking. "But why are you guys playing without me?"

Another lapis sighed, looking at anywhere but him. "Steven, Steven, Steven."

"Yeah?" Stevens Two, Three and Four ddpiped up, tittering.

"Well, me and the other lapis lazulis were talking," The lapis told him, "And Steven, Steven, and Steven all agreed."

"Why'd you say lapis lazulis as a plural but refer to the Stevens individually?" posed Steven.

The lapis blinked multiple times. "Well, because there tends to be only o–"

Another lapis interrupted her. "You're out of the band, Steven. You've gone too far."

"But you need me! We're the Crystal Clones! If Steven Two's the lead singer, who'll play the tambourine?"

"We can do without a tambourine, as long as we're also going without a toxic band member." Steven Four replied with a bright smile. "Oh, and we're The Obscure Angsty Chicken-Obsessed Molerats now."

"Personally, I wanted us to be named the–" A lapis began, but the rest of her statement was muffled by Steven Three's hand. He shook his head as he glared at her. "Please, no more profanity. My innocent ears can't take it."

Steven turned to Lapis–he knew it was her because her feet and the lower few inches of her dress were still soaked–who was standing behind the rest of the rock band. "Lapis, you too?"

"Huh?" Lapis looked up. "Oh, I wasn't really listening to the conversation. Or the lyrics of the song. Great beat though. What's up?"

"Oh, come on!" Steven groaned, and the mike was snatched out of his hand again.

"We're clearly better off without you, Steven. We even wrote a song about how bad you made us feel under your arbitrary rule for not fitting your trashy archetypes perfectly." A lapis lazuli stated. "Hey, wanna hear it?"

Steven glowered at her. "N–"

The Obscure Angsty Chicken-Obsessed Molerats ignored him, and the music commenced. _Steven's a big fat meanie! A big fat meanie zucchini!_

Steven stormed over to the power outlet and snatched the plug out of the outlet extender.

"Steven, that was the fridge." Lapis whispered out of the side of her mouth, trying not to arouse any suspicion.

"Oh, sorry, my bad." He pulled the plug next to it, shutting off all the instruments except for the xylophone, but the Lapis using it still halted.

"Hey, listen up, you jerks!" Steven spat, eyes so stormy and full of rage that he was practically foaming at the mouth. "You can't kick me out of the band, because I created you! I brought you here! You guys are nothing without me!"

Having yelled out all his anger, Steven was way milder now. He breathed heavily, eyes still bugged out. Suddenly, a thought occured to the preteen. "Wait, that's it!"

Yeah, the thing I said about him being milder now? Never mind.

Steven started to laugh wackily, pulling the time sphere out of his pocket and holding it up with a sinister grin.

"Aw, shit," A lapis exclaimed, shaking her head.

All the Stevens understood, and gasped dramatically. "oH nO, we're going to die!"

"Cool." A lapis commented with a smile. "I've never done that before." She held up two fingerguns, and the Stevens groaned, looking away from her.

Steven took out his time sphere, grabbed Lapis, and activated it, and the other Stevens followed suit with their lapis lazulis.

__

Lapis sighed and quickened the flapping of her wings, ready to fly back. "Well, that's that. Guess we're not performing together. I'm going to take a nap when we get back."

"Lapis, wait!" exclaimed Steven, and she halted. "We can still do a duet!"

"Nah, it won't be the same."

Lapis fluttered her wings, rising over the blacktop with Steven still perched on her back, and started to head home.

Steven frowned. "I wish I—"

"Hey, what's that noise?" Lapis commented.

He and Lapis scanned the road below them before resting their gaze on two falling... people? things? Lapis dove down towards the entities, Steven gripping her so tightly his knuckles turned white. Just before she swooped under to catch them, one of the things unfurled their wings, grabbing the other and drifting down toward the ground. Lapis followed.

The person who was riding on the winged life-form was now standing on the ground, and clapped a hand over Steven's mouth. Steven glanced up to meet the eyes of... himself, but with better hair?

"Don't say it, Steven. We don't need to fix anything. We don't need to start a band. Trust me, it'll only tear us apart!"

The better-haired Steven turned to see a portal forming behind him. Steven gaped behind the hand covering his mouth at the three other Stevens, each with a number on their head, and the three Lapides Lazuli that emerged.

"You're not the only one who has a time thing, Steven." The numbered Stevens stated with smirks.

"You'll never take us alive!" The Steven with better hair cried, grabbing Lapis and his time thingie.

Lapis blinked. "Us?"

__

Peridot inhaled slowly, taking in the scent of her green tea mixing in with a hint of cold, salty, ocean breeze. Somehow, a few wisps of air from the beach had managed to seep though cracks and arrive in her translucent green room. Peridot could find out why and block up the holes, but she found she quite liked the smell. She was lucky Lapis had heard about the protest that would destroy the next shipment of tea and warned her so Peridot was able to stock up. The aroma of orchids and chestnut was always able to soothe her when she was freaking out.

However, Peridot's contentedness was interrupted by the sound of Lapis sprinting out of the elevator, peeling off her frost-speckled coat to reveal her linen blouse and matching leggings. She ran all the way up to Peridot's desk before smacking both hands onto it and meeting Peridot's eyes with a grin.

"Peri," She wheezed, stifling a giggle, "Oh, you will not believe what I just saw."

Peridot sighed and put down her cup of tea. "What is it, Lazuli?"

"So, I was in Ireland–"

"You mean that country on the West Coast of Eurasia?" guessed Peridot.

"Yeah, but it's a lot farther from Europe no–"

"Never mind, Lazuli, just empty the bag already!"

"Okay, so we haven't been there in centuries, but I learned that while we were gone, the Europeans started eating Irish skulls for medicine." Lapis told her.

"They what?!" Peridot exclaimed, before snickering.

She saw something move, and turned her head. A human dressed very strangely was standing across her room with another lapis lazuli next to him. "What the–"

The other lapis opened her mouth, but he shook his head. "I don't even want context."

Suddenly, multiple copies of the two appeared, and the strange pair yelped before they all disappeared again.

"Didn't that boy... remind you of someone?" Peridot posed.

"Yes, he did."

__

Steven sped past the boardwalk, looking for a place to hide.

Jenny jumped out of his way, alarmed and befuddled. "Wait, Steven, I thought I just saw you over–"

Steven skidded to a stop, and Lapis, who was following him, slammed into him.

The other Stevens and lapides lazuli piled onto them, before copies of them appeared and plopped on top of the pile. They struggled to get free, only to discover that the original was no longer under them.

Steven and Lapis huddled around the corner, catching their breath.

"Just take us to the beginning!" Steven commanded the time sphere, which unfortunately was overheard by the others.

__

"Steven, what are you doing?!" Peridot cried, her breaths quickening. "You're not Lapis, you can't do stupid things like jump off a cliff and survive!"

"She's right, you're really not!" shouted Lapis.

Steven didn't cease his dash to the flooded part of the room. "If Lapis gets to keep her thing, I get to keep mine to!"

"Okay, but we don't really care anymore if Lapis does something dumb! She's done it for years and will probably never die from it! But you, you're most likely going to die!" Jasper responded bluntly.

Steven got to the time sphere, where a wave was just about to crash onto him. He braced himself, but nothing happened. All Steven heard were a few drops. One fell onto Steven's lips, which he tasted, and he now knew they were... salty drops?

Steven glanced up at the wave, which was now falling towards him in slow motion. He grabbed the time sphere, cradling it in his hand. "Hi there, I'm your new frie–"

"Stop right there!" A voice yelled. Steven turned to see himself, but with better hair standing behind him.

Lapis squinched. "What the– Hey, is that me?"

"Yep. Heyyyy, Peri." The other lapis winked with a smirk.

"I am increasingly uncomfortable with this situation." croaked Peridot with an embarrassed look.

"Honestly, so am I. I'm nothing like that." Lapis protested, pointing at the other lapis lazuli, who snorted at the conversation between the Stevens.

"Yeah, sure."

"Steven, hand the time sphere over." The Steven with good hair requested.

"Wait, are you, like... a future version of me?"

"Ugh, just give it to me!" He demanded.

Two more Stevens and two lapis lazulis appeared and knocked the 'future' Steven over.

Jasper frowned as the Stevens splashed each other with water, two of them fighting over the time thingie. "I'm slightly offended that I wasn't invited to the future brawl."

Good-looking Steven wrenched the time ball out of the other Steven's hand and began to cackle.

The other Stevens and Lapis Lazulis—there were now at least a dozen or two of each–gasped. They all attempted to retrieve the time thing at first, but it was lile the Stevens couldn't tell the difference between each other and began to roughhouse. The lapides lazuli joined in half-heartedly.

Amidst all the anarchy, Lapis could see Steven cowering all the way from the warp pad. With a flick of her wrist, she stretched out the wave of salty water behind the fighting, and when she pushed her hands down, it cascaded onto the commotion. Most of the Stevens and Lapides stopped in their tracks, silencing almost instantly, but a few of the Stevens' eyes had been sprayed by the brackish seawater, causing them to screech.

"Oh my gosh, my eeeeyyyeee!" One Steven yelled.

Another, this one with a two on his forehead, frowned. "The salt's irritated them! Pink eyes don't go with any of my outfits!"

"No one cares, Steven Two!"

"Hey, are you talking to me?" Growled another Steven, who also happened to have a two.

He crossed his arms. "Maybe I am."

"Don't make me come over there and slap that snotty look off your face!"

"I'd like to see you try."

While the other Stevens started to tussle again, a lapis gave Lapis a thumbs up. "Nice job, Lapis!"

"Thanks, other Lapis!" Lapis called.

The fabulous-haired Steven roared with laughter, eyes wild and almost... mad with power. He bathed in the imposters' dread. This felt... familiar somehow, and Steven absolutely loved it. He had a mind to wipe them all out, right now, but their fear made him realize something. As long as they were overrun with cowardice, Steven had the power. And he was going to be a better leader than Steven Two–ugh, just that traitor's name made bile coat his tongue–because he knew how to use it.

Steven turned around, ready to wield his power like a true queen–he stopped in his tracks. Wait, a queen? But he felt like–like, well, he was made for this. Like this was who he was born to be. A leader. A fabulous, beautiful, flawless leader.

 _But Steven, you're not. At least, not inside._ A voice whispered in his brain. It made a single tear spill out of Steven's eye. _This is all just a role you played to get by._

The second thought made him shiver, with confusion and dread and rememberance, all at once, except he didn't know what he was remembering. You're wrong. You were the role I played. I wanted freedom, but you weren't it.

"I had time to be free. It's time to be queen." Steven uttered, to the discomfort of Peridot, who's eyes rolled back from shock. Lapis had to catch her.

Suddenly, he caught the eye of the Steven he had stolen the time thingie from, who's eyes were sad and... scared. _Isn't it better to be good than fearsome?_ A voice pondered softly. _Do you want to rule right now by wielding fear, or rule in the future because you're kind?_

All at once, Steven knew. "I want to be kind."

"I think our Steven's dead!" Lapis cried. "Oh, wait, that was another one. No panic."

"Why? That's still Steven, right?" Jasper announced. "And we love Steven, correct? So let's he–oh, never mind, he's fine."

Steven spun to face the fighting Stevens. One had pushed the other into the water, and the newly-soaked one had screeched, "No, my shirt! This might as well have been Glucci!" Another sobbed on the floor, arranging a funeral for the shirt, surrounded by other Stevens who wanted to pay their respects. The lapides lazuli just watched, mostly, but some had moved to the warp pad to bother Peridot.

"Stop it! Just stop!" Steven yelled, and the Stevens halted, swiveling around to get an eyeful of him with audible huh?'s and hmm?s.

"Look at what you're doing! Do you really want to fight?"

The Stevens took time to glance at each other, and then turned back to Steven. Some shook their heads slightly, and a few others still deciding.

"I think, that you should be ashamed of yourselves." vociferated Steven, helping the Steven who was mourning his shirt to his feet. "You disrespected Steven's favorite shirt! You hurt it!"

"Periodt!" Steven blubbered, before breaking into sobs again.

Good-hair Steven shook his head solemnly, bending down to give the Steven he terrified a hand to stand up before continuing. "But worst of all, you hurt each other."

Another Steven nodded with tears spilling out his eyes, pointing to his knee. "I have a scab, and it really hurts! Plus, the saltwater touched it!"

"Hey, it wasn't just us." A Steven One remarked.

Steven nodded tactfully, hands clasped together against his stomach as he peered down at his wet sandals in shame. "You're right, it wasn't. It's my fault we were all fighting. But when push comes to shove and it's Steven vs. Steven, who wins?"

The Stevens stared blankly at him, before shrugging.

"Steven, what's the third law of motion?" Steven queried. "Peridot told us, remember?"

"Um, every action's got an equal and opposite reaction?"

"Correct! But Peridot also said that equal and inverse things cancel each other out, like a proton and electron." Steven stated. "And that some actions and reactions do cancel each other out. So if two Stevens fight, who's going to win?"

"Um, no one?" One Steven offered.

Steven's smile spread so wide it was almost too big to fit on his face. "I said, who wins?"

The other Stevens replied, "No one!"

"Exactly!" exclaimed Steven. "It's a stalemate. No one can win! So what have we come to that we forget what Peridot's taught us?"

Whispers of "What is wrong with us?", "This isn't right" and "What? What have we become, Steven?" came from the others' mouths.

"I'll tell you what we've become. Destructive, and cruel, and mean!" Steven vociferated, tears in his eyes. "We are not true Stevens."

"We're not even worthy of the name Steven Universe!" Another shouted.

A lapis snorted. "Honey, I was never worthy."

"I'll have to change my name to–to–Jeff!" One wailed.

A Steven Four shook his head, tearing up. "But I don't wanna be named Jeff!"

"Me neither!" A Steven Three agreed, before desperately turning to Steven, who was seizing a big rock. "Steven, what can we do? How can we fix this?"

"We have to fix it... by ending it!" Steven placed the the time sphere on the table and smashed it with the stone.

Stevens and Lapises alike began to disappear, leaving only a trace of blue sand, which sunk down into the water. Steven panicked. Some random future versions of him and Lapis had appeared, fought, until one made a speech, and now vanishing? He didn't know anything anymore.

The Steven who had broken the sphere waved as the dissipated. "Arrivederci, Steven. Remember, Dad can't do Beach-Palooza with you. How 'bout you make a band with the Crystal Gems?"

Steven wanted to hug the older one tightly, but he disappeared right in front of him. He turned to the Crystal Gems. "Well, that was kinda strange."

Lapis snorted. "Kinda is an understatement."

"Well, he did say something about us starting a band...." Steven uttered, as he ran to the warp pad before they all warped back home.

And so they did. (But Lapis and Peridot spent so long arguing that they never got to Beach-Palooza. Which was fine, because they just performed in front of Greg later that week.)


	9. An Indirect Kiss: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven tells the story of how the sudden storm.

Steven stood at the top of the hill by his house, peering down at his friend Connie, who was sprawled out on Lion's back as she ambled up the hill, slower than a snail. He frowned as he tapped his foot impatiently. They were taking forever. "Connie, hurry up, you slowpoke!"

"Hey!" Connie raised her head, her thick hair no longer smooshed into Lioness's equally thick fur. "I'm not even the one moving! It's fine, we'll get there when we get there."

"Sure, if you like overheated juice and rotten food in the wintertime." snarked Steven.

Connie giggled. "Alright, alright." She sat up, pushing dark locks out of her eyes and shaking pink fuzz out of her hair. Connie reached out a chocolatey brown hand amd smacked the lioness's behind. "Hyah!"

Lioness craned her neck around to face her, looking extremely offended and disgusted. The lion sat down sharply, sending Connie tumbling to the ground.

"Oof!" Connie sat in the grass, grabbing Steven's offered hand and using it to hoist herself up. "I have no idea why I thought that would work."

They jogged up to the top of the hill and set up their picnic. Connie sat on the edge of the picnic blanket, ankles crossed, so only her knees and below were cushioned by the thin sheet. She beamed, looking out at the view as she held herself up on her palms. Suddenly, she felt a stab. "Owch!"

Connie yanked the sharp thing lodged in her palm out with a grimace. She examined the miniscule object, which looked like... metal? Connie glanced back down at where her hand had been, surprised to see a puddle.

"Steven..."

He looked up from his food, eyes widening. "Oh, your hand!" Steven unzipped his taco pack and started to rummage through it.

Connie turned back to the view, looking intently. She began to see tiny specks of water–well, at least from her angle–littering the hill and surrounding beach. There was also visible damage on the tops of buildings, which she hadn't seen from the ground for obvious reasons.

"No, that's not what I meant, but thanks." Connie explained as Steven bandaged her hand. "I know this might sound a bit weird, but... were there any storms or natural disasters at all in the past few days?"

"You mean besides earthquakes?" 

Connie rolled her eyes. "Yes. Did we always have this many?" 

"I think it's a seasonal thing, like my outfits." Connie snorted at Steven's reply. "You wear a variation of the same outfit every day, Steven." 

"True." 

"So. Any wet natural disasters, like rain?" 

Steven chuckled, snipping the edge of the bandage and placing the rest of the bandage roll back in his pack. "Heh, it definitely did rain. It rained drama, emotion, and also actual rain."

"Sounds intriguing." Connie grinned, taking the baby carrot Steven handed to her. "Tell me more."

"It's a pretty long story...." Steven added.

"Well, we have plenty of time, don't we?" replied Connie with a smile as Steven took a bite of his baby carrot.

"Okay, but it's not that cheerful." Steven warned. "You know how Peridot's always inventing stuff, and trying to be educational?"

"Duh." Connie took a sip of her juice.

"Good, 'cause that's how it all started."

__

_Peridot unveiled her newest invention, standing in front of the TV. "Ta Da!"_

_Steven screeched in horror. "Peribot's back!"_

_"Oh, hell no!" Lapis yelled, dashing out the door._

_"No, Steven, this one is new. I fixed the... complication with the other." Peridot informed him._

_"Oh, okay." Steven responded. "Peribot's not back!"_

_Lapis ran back in. "Cool! Sorry about basically leaving you to die."_

_"It's okay. I'd do the same to you." Steven smiled. "Wait, that didn't come out right–"_

_"Anyway, Lapis has to test it out on fencing mode, and hopefully teach Steven something."_

__

_Lapis stood on the sand, sword?–Steven didn't really know what it was–in hand. She sliced the air, both knees bent, one leg forward and the other back as she balanced on her toes. The peribot 2.0 was fighting her, but it seemed it was going to lose._

_"Steven, I think the reason the last lesson didn't work out is because normal swordfighting is too boring." Lapis told him, still parrying all the robot's lunges, and getting a few hits in, too. "Fencing isn't about brawn, or stabbing, it's about flexibility, and creativity."_

_She bent backwards, dodging a stab of a sword and knocking it out of her opponent's hand. When the robot turned to get its weapon, Lapis swiftly blocked its way and thrust her blade to meet its chest._

_"That's five! You win, Lapis!" Steven cheered._

_"Thank you, Steven. Now, about fencing. There are recommended stances and techniques, which I mostly follow, but sometimes you can get a little improvisational." Lapis grinned, handing Steven a foil._

_They preceded to fence, Lapis using two fencing swords at once on each hand to block both the robot and Steven at the same time. Steven huffed, hopping to the side and almost tripping over his own feet. "Whoa!"_

_Steven thrust a hand forward to balance, gaze trained at his feet. Unfortunately, that hand was holding the foil. He heard a clink and, overcome with dread, let his weapon fall. Steven ducked, cowering in a squat close to the ground, hands covering his head._

_Nothing happened. Steven peered through his fingers, and the robot was still. He let out a breath as he pushed himself up on his hands, squeaking at the sight of Lapis curled up on her side near his shoes and almost crouching down again._

_"Lapis!" Steven shook her shoulders, gasping as he saw her gem, which had a gash down the middle. Had–oh gosh, had he done that to her?_

_Steven knew about poofing, and Lapis was still there. The Crystal Gems had told him about something else, he remembered. Shattering. That was like dying. But Steven didn't know how a shattered gem actually appeared. He did, however, know what shattered glass looked like, and this was definitely not like that._

_The only flaw he could see on Lapis's smooth, blue, teardrop-shaped gem was a little fracture. Steven let out a relieved sigh. But something still happened to Lapis, and it's your fault. His brain reminded him. "I know. I'm so sorry, Lapis..."_

_He felt her fidget under him, and let his hands drop to his sides as he moved back. Lapis stood up, almost falling over before Steven clasped onto her arm and pushed her back up._

_Water spread out into little spheres surrounding her in a circle. They shot up, forming what made Steven think of a brick wall. The highest bricks of water rolled off, crashing to the ground before being absorbed by the sand, and the rest of the water did the same._

_Steven eyed her warily. "Lapis?"_

_Steven grinned nervously, desperately waiting for reassurance. The gem he saw–with skin and eyes too gray, everything too dull, like someone had pulled the vibrancy of her color out of her–that wasn't Lapis, every muscle in his body kept telling them, except it was. Her outfit kept changing, from turquoise dresses to navy blue jumpers to milky blue jackets, like she was glitching. It creeped Steven out. He wasn't in his Room, was he? "Donut?"_

_Nothing appeared, and Steven didn't know how to feel. He was in real life, which was good, but it also meant this was real._

_Lapis stretched, and when she opened an eye, water rushed out. But the weirdest thing about this was her face. Steven was so used to her constant smile, or smirk, or at least quirked lips that it was unsettling._

_"§ůp, Ğęmï." greeted Lapis patchily, voice fading out and in and water tumbling out of her lips as soon as they parted. Steven placed his palm on her arm, recoiling at the moist, cold to the touch skin. Something was definitely wrong._

_"I–" Lapis' voice cut out as she was speaking, her mouth moving but sound refusing to escape._

_"My ģėm..." Lapis's voice was now coming from her gem. She wiped her eyes, but the water was gushing out too quickly for her to do anything about it._

_Steven pulled her into a hug despite her weirdly-textured skin. "Lapis, don't cry! I'm sorry!"_

_Lapis eyed the Peribot, and summoned water to yeet it away. Water splashed everywhere, almost flooding Beach City._

"And that's how Lapis almost killed the few dozen inhabitants of Beach City." Steven smiled. "Well, mostly. Some of the water was from later in the day."

"Wait, so Lapis can manipulate water?"

Steven shrugged, popping a baby carrot into his mouth, and closing it with a crunch. "Yeah, apparently. I don't know why she didn't tell me."

"Huh, weird. But that can't be the end of your story, right? I heard partly about some storm on TV!"

"Oh, you wanna know what happened to Lapis? Uh-uh." Steven stated.

"What? Why?" Connie protested. "You can't just leave it there! I haven't even seen Lapis today–she could be dead and you're not telling me! Oh my god, is she dead?"

Steven averted his eyes, uncomfortable and annoyed. "No, no, she's fine! I just–"

"Then tell me!"

"But–"

"Steven, please?" Connie looked at him with pleading eyes.

Steven gave in. "Okay, okay, but don't make fun of me."

"Sure."

"And I wanna try on your glasses. I wonder what the world looks like pink...."

Connie crossed her arms. "Then give me your juice."

"Nope."

"Hey, give me your juice, and I'll do what you ask. That's my final offer, take it or leave it." Insisted Connie.

"Fine, but there's not a lot left." Steven told her, handing her the juice box.

_"What am I gonna do?" He whispered, still clinging to the Lapis' arm. "I mean, you look like you belong in the music video for Matthew Jackson's Hair-Raiser, and apparently you control water now! Oh, Peridot and Jasper are gonna kill me, or worse, never trust me again!"_

_Lapis had fallen unconsious, but she opened an eye. "Hêý, I kñôw ţhēm."_

_"Yeah, you do." Steven replied. "Aren't you happy to see me?"_

_"Øf cóűrşe Ï ām!" Lapis tried to smile, but it didn't work. She sighed._

_"Hēy–gəm–črãckëd!" Lapis gasped from her gem._

_"Yeah, Lapis, we've establi–"_

_Lapis groaned. "Wêłl, too bad Röse–herė, she—teārs–hęaľ–"_

_Steven looked up, surprised. "Wait, so my mom, she could heal you?"_

_Lapis tilted her head, confused. "Hěål–Whý–nëəd—hælinģ?"_

_"Lapis, your gem is cracked!" Steven yelled, exasperated. "Oh no, I can't let Jasper and Peridot find out about this–"_

_"I knőw thëm!" Lapis added._

_Steven rolled his eyes. "Yes, Lapis." He tried really hard to cry, thinking about stuff that made him sad–Rudolph being excuded from The Reindeer Games(Steven thought he deserved a gold medal just for helping Santa, and should have been an honorary guest for the annual Reindeer Games), cacti(they needed hugs, but no one would give them one), sick and homeless puppies. "Uh, baby birds rejected from their nest, homeless people, conversion therapy, sad people."_

_His eyes hadn't watered a bit, but now he was pretty sad._

_"Well, Jasper and Peridot are gonna get suspicious if we don't come inside soon. We don't wanna miss dinner. Peri's cooking lasagna tonight!" Steven exclaimed._

_Lapis smiled, before a thoughtful frown appeared on her face. She pointed to her mouth, and spread her jaws apart._

_Steven blinked, nodding. "Oh, your voice! Hmmm...."_

_He pawed through the taco pack next to him and pulled out some lozenges. "Here, suck on these."_

_Lapis let out a snort followed by a few short barks of laughter, water pouring out of her maw before she put one in her mouth._

_"Better?"_

_"Yes–müch bëțter–"_

_Steven sighed. "I don't know why I thought that would work. Just keep your mouth shut, and–"_

_He took a pair of sunglasses out of his taco backpack and placed it on the bridge of her nose, before tossing her a mask, too. "There!"_

____

_Steven bounded inside the house, dragging Lapis along with him by the hand. Jasper glanced up from the couch, pausing Super French Sisters with a grin. "Hey, guys. Peridot's almost ready with the food."_

_"Good, 'cause I'm starving!" Steven smiled, dabbing in unison with Lapis._

_"Gourmet dishes take time! It's not like I'm cooking Chef Boyardee!" yelled Peridot from the kitchen. "However, there's not much time left for this one."_

_They all sat down at the table, where Peridot placed the tray of lasagna for everyone to serve themselves. There was no plate at Peridot's seat, as per usual, and she seated herself last._

_Steven poured himself some fruit punch. "Thanks for the food, Peridot!"_

_"No, thank you, Steven, for acknowledging my hard work. Especially considering the fact that I don't even eat." Peridot snipped, arms crossed._

_Jasper groaned. "Aw, here we go again."_

_"I do everything in this house! I cook, I clean–"_

_"You don't clean." Jasper interjected quietly. "The Roomba does."_

_"Which I programmed to not just vacuum, but do the dishes and laundry!" Peridot retorted. "And you know perfectly well its name is Penny."_

_"It's a machine." Jasper pointed out._

_Steven frowned, misty-eyed. "Hey! Penny is as alive as the rest of us! She's part of this family and you know it!"_

_"What do you think, Lapis?" inquired Jasper._

Lapis shrugged.

____

_After dinner, everyone was piled onto the couch and their respective chairs to watch Nightfall, a trashy drama about a girl, a vampire, and a werewolf(who would be coming in the second installment, Nightfall: Dark Moon. Steven goggled as Edgar, the remarkably attractive vampire(he was the only one in the family to admit it) dove to save Bethany from a car, eyes flitting back to Lapis every once in a while. Something was wrong, he knew it._

_Steven let the movie continue to play, grabbing Lapis's hand and leading her outside. If the others thought it was strange, they didn't voice their suspicion, too busy laughing at the bad writing of the cheesy film._

_Lapis settled onto a lounge chair, acting calm, but Steven could tell her eyes were full with uneasiness._

_"Lapis, that was too close. If we stay here, the others are bound to get suspicious."_

Lapis put a thumbs up, displaying her agreement. Steven fixed his gaze on her face, quirking his eyebrow suspiciously. "It's just you and me, Lapis. You can take the mask off."

Lapis shook her head.

Steven reached for the face mask, but Lapis turned away.

_Steven tore off her mask, goggling at what he saw._

_Where Lapis's mouth used to be, there was–well, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was smooth, a slight tear or crack near her chin, and if Steven hadn't seen her face before, he'd have thought nothing else had ever been there. That nothing was supposed to._

_"Your mouth!"_

_"Mœuţh!" Lapis nodded._

_Steven gasped. "Oh no, this is only going to get worse, isn't it."_

_Lapis nodded again._

_Steven glanced at the sliding door, aware that the others were soon to get suspicious. "Well, I guess the only way to excuse you not talking.... is if you're not there to talk! Of course!"_

"Genius, Steven." Connie murmured wryly. "Why didn't you think of that before?"

Steven averted his eyes, Connie's glasses perched on his forehead. "Hush, chile. I'm in the middle of a story."

_"Come on, Lapis, let's go!" Steven told her._

_She placed one foot in front of the other, walking, a thing she tended not to do. Steven's eyes shone with recognition. "You can't fly anymore, can you? You're wings are gone!"_

_Lapis nodded curtly, walking at an almost steady pace. Steven brought Lion, letting Lapis mount her, and they headed to their destination._

____

_Steven shoved Lapis into Greg's arms, who was opening and closing his mouth, clearly disturbed. "Steven, is this a dead body?"_

_Lapis opened her eyes, which answered his question. Her gem glowed. "Hellohr, Grëcg."_

_"What the–" Greg shrieked, loosening his grip on her. Lapis took the opportunity to roll out of his arms and onto the floor._

_"Dad!" Steven yelled, worried. Greg nodded and pressed a button on his phone._

_The sound of a guitar radiated from the phone. The tune was familiar, and Lapis raised her head to roll her eyes to the lyrics. "You're insecure, don't know what for, you're turning heads when you walk through the door..."_

_"Really, Dad?"_

_"Hey, everyone knows the song. And she's awake."_

_Lapis stood up and began to do the Renegade aggressively._

_"She's acting crazy. I can see why you were freaking out so much." Steven's dad remarked._

_"Honestly, she's acting pretty normal. Other than speaking through her gem and stuff."_

_"What do Jasper and Peridot think about all this?" Greg questioned._

_Steven didn't reply, his gaze now fixed towards his feet. "They don't know, do they? Oh, Steven."_

_His father wrapped him in a hug. "How can I help?"_

_Steven tilted his head. "You don't care about what happened?"_

_"Schtu-ball, of course I do. But you can tell me when you're ready."_

_"Thanks, dad." Steven responded, smiling softly._

_"So, I'm assuming you want Lapis to stay with me for a bit?" Greg offered._

_"Oh, would you take care of her? Just until I work some things out."_

_Greg chuckled. "I can definitely do that, Schtu-ball. Come visit every day or so, just in case."_

_"I will, dad! Love you!" Steven climbed onto Lion._

_"Love you too."_

____

_"Here, Lapis." Steven held out a donut, cringing when he remembered Lapis's predicament. "Oh. Right."_

_Lapis rolled her eyes, and if it weren't for her eyebrows, Steven would have no idea if she was amused, annoyed, or currently plotting his murder. He dropped the donut back into its slightly soggy bag, unsure of what to say._

_It was hard to hold a conversation when only one person was speaking. Though Lapis could technically speak through her gem, she decided she didn't want to. At least, Steven thought this unusual silence was voluntary. For all he knew, she could have lost her ability to speak through her gem. But seeing as she wasn't talking, Steven had to take a guess._

_It was two days after he had left Lapis at his dad's, and he was completely right about her getting worse. Her hues kept alternating between different shades of blue and she would occasionally freeze, unable to move until someone touched her._

_And it wasn't just her. An unprecedented storm had started, shocking the populace of Delmarva. Lightning, thundet, floods, the works. It had drenched his clothes through, but luckily didn't harm the donuts. And Steven had a feeling the storm had something to do with Lapis._

_"Are you sure you don't want to tell the Gems about it?" ventured Greg._

_Steven nodded. "Yes."_

____

_The next day, Lapis was even worse. Her eyes were gone. That is, her iris and pupil were, and the whites of her eyes had changed color, leaving pale blue, glossy eyeballs behind the frame of her eyelashes and eyelids._

_Still, Steven refused to tell. He couldn't. He wouldn't._

_And Steven was right, he wouldn't. Because no one told The Crystal Gems at all._

_Peridot knocked at the door, and Steven froze. Quickly, he threw a damp blanket over Lapis._

_"Hello?" Peridot's voice almost drowned out by the storm. Steven hoped it had drowned out the thump Lapis had made when he shoved her onto the floor._

_Steven glanced down at the blanket-covered lapis behind him. "Um, hi!"_

_"Steven? What are you doing here?"_

_"What are you doing here?" Steven replied defensively._

_There was a pause. "I'm coming in."_

_Peridot turned the doorknob and pulled the door open, shutting it with a bang behind her as she glowered at Steven. His fake smile was frozen on his face, hands shaking with fear and stress. He stood up, giving a half-hearted wave._

_"Oh, hi, Peridot! I didn't know you were coming!" Steven chirped, voice wobbling._

_"Oh, hi, Peridot. I didn't know you were coming." Peridot mocked with a grimace, pushing him to the side and sitting down on a chair. "So, Steven, why are you here?"_

_"Uh, waiting out the storm!"_

_Peridot grinned, crossing her legs. "A likely story, Steven. No, really. I believe you."_

_Steven beamed hopefully. "You do?"_

_"Well, I would believe you." Steven's smile slid off his face as Peridot pulled out her holoscreens. "Except for the fact that the downpour has actually lessened 10% for the last few hours."_

_"H-how do you know that?"_

_"Ah, that's another thing, Steven." She shot him a sugarcoated smile. "You seem to forget that I am not stupid, and in fact, extremely bright."_

_Steven broke then. He collapsed to the floor, sitting on his knees and laying forward as to bow down to Peridot. He buried his face in her knees. "Peridot–so sorry–didn't mean–"_

_Peridot recoiled. "Ugh, stop sniveling, Steven, your tears will rust my legs. I can't even hear what you're saying when you carry on like that."_

_Steven sniffed, wiping his nose. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat as more tears began to prick his eyes. Steven knew if he opened his mouth he would probably howl his eyes out, and so he simply pointed to the couch._

_"So that's where you're hiding Lapis. I don't know what you've been keeping mum about for the past week but I–" Peridot let out a harrowing sob._

_Steven could hear the anguish, the sorrow, that Peridot felt as she wrapped her arms around Lapis, who hugged her back._

_"No..." Peridot whimpered. "No!"_

_"Përı, đoň't wőrŕý–I'm fïn–Whaț–wãňt a ki§s–"_

_Peridot pulled from Lapis and leered at her like she was going to slap her. Instead, she chuckled humorlessly. "Oh, Lazuli, what did you get yourself into now?"_

_It was me. Steven thought._

_"I hate you so much." Peridot embraced her even tighter. "You're so hare-brained and careless. And presumptuous, and insolent, and ignorant, and uncivilized, and chaotic, and relentless."_

_"And despite all that, here I am, crying because an uncouth clod like you is hurt."_

_Lapis wrote something down on a notepad, tore the paper off, and handed it to Peridot, who read it out with a half-smile. "Because you love me–yes, I know you love me, Lapis. Who wouldn't?"_

_She smirked at Lapis' furrowed eyebrows. "I'm joking. Yes, I love you." Peridot's face colored, and she turned to face Steven. "But strictly in a platonic way."_

_"I mean, it sounds rather not-platonic when you say it while locked in a tight embrace, but sure."_

_"Lapis can't say it, so I'll have to. Shut up, Steven."_

_"No. Because we still have to help Lapis." Steven replied._

_"Yes. As she likely told you–or tried to, anyway–Your mother had healing tears. I'd ask you to use it now, but we have to inform Jasper of these events first." Peridot helped Lapis up, shuffling to the door and pausing to wait for Steven._

_He took a deep breath before hoisting himself up and starting to the door. Peridot opened it, and they walked out._


	10. An Indirect Kiss: Part 2

_Look at all those thorns. Steven stepped off of the warp, Jasper just behind him as they helped Lapis down. Peridot was attempting to use this situation as a learning experience in order to make herself feel better, and Steven wasn't sure it was working._

_The fountain was in a garden, he had been told, but this overgrown mess was most certainly not a garden. At least not by his standards._

_Thorny weeds were packed impossibly close, suffocating from lack of air and tangled up like ratty hair that had gone uncombed and unwashed for a month, so little air available for them that they looked like they were suffocating. The vines twisted and turned, stretching up and up and up and up, before curving over like a dome and overlapping each other._

_Peridot clutched Steven's umbrella tightly(she had asked him for it a while ago, but Steven wasn't sure what she needed it for, exactly) as she walked, nearly white knuckles and noticeably unsteady stride the only things ruining her composed image. "Okay, here we are! This was your mother's garden, Steven, and the fountain should be at the center."_

_The sun felt like it was burning Steven's back, most likely because Lapis was pretty heavy and not the sun itself. In fact, cool shadow almost completely covered Steven's body, small and faint patches of daylight poking through the entanglement of weeds around him and dotting his clothes. The area around him felt so suffocating he could hardly wheeze, "You call this a garden?"_

_"Well, Rose used to look after this, but she hasn't been here in over 12 years." Steven winced at Jasper's comment. She pulled Lapis out of his arms, and he smiled thankfully, wiping his forehead theatrically._

_"Ugh, why do plants have to do.... that?" Peridot complained about nothing in particular. "They're so–gross, and... climby."_

_Steven furrowed a brow. Peridot wasn't one to ask questions unless they were rhetorical and meant for flaunting her knowledge or mean. And she definitely didn't use improper grammar. It was evident that Lapis's condition had a major effect on her._

_Thorn had gotten snagged on the sleeve of Peridot's sweater while she had been cantering around. She rolled her eyes before tugging her arm away gently from the vines. When nothing happened, she scowled and tried again, using more force each time. Peridot wrenched her arm away so fast she lost her balance and fell onto more prickly vines._

_Steven impaled his chubby arm on the barbs a few more times, tiny beads of blood forming and peppering his arm. Eventually, even his pinpricks had pinpricks inside them, and he had to yank his arm away. He stared eagerly at Lapis, his hopeful smile quickly fading. Steven sighed at Lapis, who hadn't changed at all._

_"Don't worry, Steven. We're at the garden for a reason, after all."_

_An aggravated yell shocked them, and they turned to see Peridot, who's limbs were completely ensnared in the brambles and looked as if she would be there forever. She crouched in a near-split, trying to bring one knee up and then the other to stand. A streak of blue zoomed towards her before grabbing her, snatching so hard the climbing plants snapped in half. As it began to dash towards Steven, he could see multiple prickly vines viciously attack the spot Peridot had just been, and shivered._

_When the blue thing stopped in front of Steven, he could see it clearly. He gasped, glancing back at Jasper, who's hands were empty._

_Grinning at Lapis, who had just let go of Peridot, Steven said the worst possible thing he could've said at the moment._

_"Gotta go fast?"_

_"Shut up." Jasper rolled her eyes._

_"You clod." Peridot seethed, plucking remaining thorns out of her sides. "What did I tell you?"_

_Lapis and Steven met each others's eyes, both shrugging with similar expressions of blankness. Steven would've loved to make Lapis answer, but unfortunately, she was unable to at the moment, and so he had to step up. "Um, I didn't hear you tell us anything."_

_Peridot blinked, obviously just as perplexed as they were. "I didn't?" She turned to Jasper. "Hey, Jasper?"_

_"Yeah?" Jasper called from where she was analysing the vines._

_"I... told you guys something before we got here, right?"_

_"Um, yeah." Peridot smiled. "But, um, I mean, you may have told us something last time." The smile vanished from the peridot's face._

_"Last time?" Steven wondered aloud. "I haven't been here before."_

_Jasper chuckled, moving over to ruffle Steven's curly mane. "Trust me, buddy, it was a long time ago, way before you were here."_

_With that, Peridot changed the subject. "And what I said was?"_

_"If youre gem's got a split, calm down, and don't lose it! Make sure to wait for Rose, because she always knows. Don't pick a fight, and you'll be alright." Jasper recited in a sing-song voice._

_"Well, then, clearly Lapis wasn't following directions. No more roughhousing. And take better care of her, Steven."_

_Steven gaped incredulously. "But no one had told me that. How would I have even–"_

_"Steven. Do not make me raise my voice. And I'd appreciate it if you never yell at me again." Peridot rubbed her temples and sighed. "I believe it was a logical conclusion that overexertion makes damage worse, as compared to things like broken bones or a rope. All I am saying is to do better next time something like this happens."_

_Steven's disbelieving eyes widened, and he gasped. "But she moved too fast," He railed desperately and loudly. "How am I even supposed to ca–"_

_"Didn't you hear what I said?" Peridot berated quickly, shutting Steven up. "Don't yell. And that's not my problem."_

_He yielded, eyes fixed on the floor as he hunched, looking back up warily every few seconds. "Yes, Peridot. I understand. I'm sorry, Peridot."_

_"Good." Peridot replied, nastiness mixed in with what sounded like awkwardness._

_Jasper moved to stand in front of him and Lapis, one arm around his shoulders as her eyes bored into Peridot's, communicating a secret message Steven couldn't understand, but he knew it was about him._

_This seemed to stir up something in Peridot, and her sharp gaze softened. She frowned ashamedly. "Steven, I–"_

_Lapis used a large amount of effort to force words from her gem. They came out distorted and crackly, but what she meant was clear._ I hate you.

_Peridot stepped closer to them, trying to repent, but Lapis slunk backwards and away. You could hear a loud crunch and then a thump._

"Oh, no," Connie gasped.

"Oh, yes." Steven responded bitterly.

_Steven turned to see Lapis, face on the ground and back facing up, gem pulverized. He dashed over to her, sliding his finger down her gem to collect dislodged fragments. Oh, never mind, it wasn't pulverized. Though there were pieces so small and thin they mimicked blue game chips, these all came from a layer of Lapis' gem a millimeter thick. Much of her gem was still intact. However, the mostly-intact piece still on her body had two cracks running through it, one from earlier that day, and one new. The new one was much deeper than the other, forming a little pocket big enough Steven's pinkie almost fit inside._

_Steven placed the extra gem pieces in his front pocket, careful not to damage them. Jasper had rushed over after him, and helped him turn Lapis over._

_Multiple things that hadn't been visble to him earlier were definitely visible now. Such as the fact that the middle of Lapis' forearm to her wrist was split in half vertically, and the half closer to her thumb was gone, leaving a half with a jagged side where the rest of her arm used to be. Steven looked uneasily at the part where it ended, with no layers of bone or fat or any of the stuff that was supposed to be inside the arm was, just a solid line of skin covering it seamlessly. Tiny chunks of her legs, feet, and hips were gone too, giving her an unsettling, wrong feeling. There was almost no indication of blood or veins or muscle or anything, like there was absolutely nothing holding Lapis together. It made Steven almost recoil._

_Peridot stood a few feet away, tears pricking her eyes. "We–we've gotta go." Her voice was hoarse._

_"How are we going to get through the vines?" Steven piped up. "We can't just cut through them one at a time, right? I think they're scents-i-ant, and that would take too long."_

_"You mean sentient." Peridot cracked a small smile. "And I think we'll have to do that, Steven. What else could we do?"_

_Jasper lifted the rock Lapis had damaged her gem on, which was twice Steven's size and looked very heavy, before yeeting it through the vines to make a path._

_Steven and Peridot goggled. "Oh. Um, that works, I guess."_

____

_The fountain was beautiful, or, more accurately, Steven could tell it had been. He couldn't help but gasp in awe as he strolled through the tunnel of creeping plants and into its chamber, his eyes glittering attractively. But that was hardly something to say, since Steven knew he was always attractive._

_It was all pink and heavenly glow, remindinh him of something he couldn't quite place, wrapped in a blanket of celestial, ethereal auras. The vines making the walls of the enclosure made a dome shape, swirling up into a spiral shape at the top, with a heavenly glow streaking out of it and shining a spotlight onto the middle of the fountain. A statue of his mother stood under it, eyes shut and her closed-mouthed smile practically dripping with love and contentedness. It was almost like the glow the hole in the ceiling covered her in wasn't an accident, her beauty and kindness so great it bent nature and space to its will. Staring at it, he couldn't help but grin softly, eyes wide, though it was painfully clear that something was missing._

_Peridot stalked quickly after him, the heels of her metal legs clicking on the stone floor, and Steven snapped out of his gaze. Jasper traipsed along behind them, tasked with the job of hauling Lapis around. She mumbled something about being unappreciated and how her only purpose on the team was to be the muscle before she quickly cut off at seeing the fountain._

_"The water's not running." Peridot pointed out calmly, quickly realizing it was much more dire than she had made it seem._

_"Oh." So that's what looked wrong, Steven thought. "Oh!" His eyes went wide._

_"Well, that's not good." Jasper uttered artlessly._

_Peridot graced her with a look of hauteur. "No duh."_

_The jasper dumped Lapis onto Steven, nearly knocking him over. "Oh, sorry, Steven." He put a thumbs up, and she continued. "Me and Peridot–"_

_"Peridot and I." Peridot corrected him._

_"Huh?"_

_"It's Peridot and I."_

_"There's only one of you, Peridot. I'm not blind."_

_Peridot scowled. "I mean in your sentence, you clod."_

_"I know." Jasper had a grin on her face that made her look young. Younger than Steven, even, like she had lost some of her teeth and left it under her pillow just yesterday. Steven reminded himself to ask about how Jasper was as a kid, if she ever was one. Out of all of the Crystal Gems, she seemed the most likely to have been a little ki–_

_"Did you hear me, Steven?" Jasper looked down at him expectantly._

_"What?" Steven definitely hadn't. "Um, no."_

_Jasper and Peridot headed for the vine tunnel. "Don't worry, you'll be fine!"_

_"What? I didn't hear you!"_

_"I love you too!" Jasper waved as they exited._

_And so Steven found himself standing there, in front of the fountain, Lapis dumped into his arms. She was heavy, and his muscles were starting to hurt, so he staggered forward to drop her onto the floor. He sighed, seeing her outstretched on the stone, and sat down on the edge of the fountain, facing his mom's statue so his sandals met the bottom of the fountain, to lay her on his lap._

_Steven had definitely tried not to think about how all this mess was clearly his fault, but it started to creep from the darkest depths of his mind to envelope his brain in a layer of pain. Steven didn't really feel like this a whole lot, but when he did, it was usually in smaller doses. So he was not prepared for the wave of sadness that sloshed through his body._

_Well, it wasn't really sadness, but Steven wasn't quite sure of how else to explain it. It was like fear, and guilt and shame all mixed up into a concoction, and the concoction's base was inadequacy. It hurt, made it extremely hard to breathe and made his throat tighten. Tears pricked Steven's eyes, and he bit his lip to keep from crying._

_"Lapis," Steven's voice was hoarse and ragged as he tried to repress his tears. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."_

_Lapis was still, but Steven could see her gem, which was pressed into his lower thigh, began to radiate faint light. He flipped her onto her front, making her gem visible. It projected a shaky, crackly screen, but it was still legible, although barely. It read the words,_ Why?

_"Because, I messed this all up." A single tear dropped from his eye and plopped onto her gem. Nothing happened._

_Lapis made a barely audible sound between a sigh and a snort._ No, you didn't. I did. I always do.

_"Huh?"_

Don't worry about it, Gemi. _The screen read._

_"But I do worry. I can't help it, Lapis!" Steven cried._

_The screen's words changed. Take a deep breath. You need to calm down, you're being too loud._

_Steven chuckled before following the instructions and was filled with composure. Well, as much composure as a goofy, emotional preteen could muster, anyway. "I miss you, Lapis."_

_Lapis's head was turned enough that he could see her manage what he assumed was a slight smile. It was almost impossible to decipher due to her current abscence of lips, but the tips of thin crack in the general area where her mouth used to be had quirked up. Steven gazed into Lapis's eyes. They had been dark blue prior to the crack and were now a dull pigeon blue, her feelings open for all to see and barriers transparent._

_The idea that Lapis wasn't usually open with him almost made Steven tear up right then and there, but he didn't. He should take the time to observe and learn about Lapis rather than cry like a baby. The unpleasant emotion Steven had felt before surged through his body once again, but he willed it away. He stared at Lapis again, paying attention to every shred of emotion available in her eyes, and saw hopelessness, and shame, and weakness, and pain. Then it struck Steven, quick and sharp as a bolt of lightning. That self-doubt, and loathing, and worthlessness, and melancholy: Lapis felt that too. And that was what made him start to bawl, all convulsing, shaking chest and rapid breathing, tears encompassing her gem and soaking the soft back of her flowy dress._

_Steven didn't dare to look up, but eventually, he did. Nothing happened, like he should've known, and it made him cry even harder, all his sorrow and guilt and shame and grief spilling out onto Lapis' back. He almost couldn't hear the sound of the sudden rumbling over his wailing, but it didn't matter, because he could feel it. Steven squeaked in fright and glanced back up at the fountain towering over him in time to see a pink-tinted liquid pour out of the eyes of his mother's statue._

_The healing water quickly overflowed the fountain, spilling out and mantling the stone floor. He was all ready to bask in its greatness, but before he could even gasp, the liquid had completely consumed him and Lapis. He was in a sea of sickly-sweet floral scented fluid, mouth clamped shut._

_Petals plopped into the water, light and airy and skimming the surface. Steven glanced up at his mother's sculpture, the water slightly warping his vision. He squinted, eyes sore from direct contact to liquid, and it almost looked like it was his mother, bending down and reaching out to hold him._

_He surged through the healing fluid, eager grin fading as he saw the statue, completely still and unmoving. His disappointment quickly faded as he noticed the thorns were gone, replaced by trees bursting with delicate pink blossoms, the sun visible and light shining down on him. Steven felt healing water splash his hair, weighing it down immensely, and turned to see Lapis behind him as liquid trickled down his face._

_"Lapis!" Steven exclaimed, smiling so widely his mouth ached, but he hardly cared, locking her in a tight hug and nuzzling against her. Her mouth was clamped shut, cheeks bulging, and when she stepped back from him, she shot out the contents, more water shooting out at Steven. "Lapis, no! My hair!"_

_"So sorry, Princess Steven." quipped Lapis, throwing herself at the boy, who yelped and waded away._

_She fell back in the fountain with a splash, throwing her head up quickly. Steven thrashed around, desperately attempting an escape. "I'm glad you're back, Lapis."_

_"I am too, Gemi. And it's all thanks to you."_

Connie gasped. "Steven, _was_ it you?"

"Hey, I'm getting to that part."

 _"I know, can you_ believe _I saved you for once?" Steven gushed while backing away from Lapis._

_"No, you didn't." Steven turned to see Jasper entering the chamber through the tunnel, Peridot on her heels._

_"Unless Lapis was about to jump off a cliff or something, and you stopped her. Which I could believe."_

_"No, I mean the fountain." Steven explained._

_Jasper grinned nonchalantly. "Nope, that was me."_

_Peridot glowered. "You mean us."_

_"If you say so." Jasper responded idly, and Peridot gritted her teeth._

_"So, I don't have magic tears?"_

_The other gems looked at each other, then back at him, and began to laugh boisterously. After a few minutes, Lapis wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, no, Steven. You have no powers, you're completely useless!"_

_"Why do you think we never let you go on missions with us?" Peridot added._

_"You'll never be a_ real _Crystal Gem. You're nothing like your mother." Jasper scowled at him._

"Steven, we both know they didn't say that."

Steven sulked. "They might as well have."

"Is that why you didn't want to tell me? Oh, Steven, that's not true."

"But it is! I'm nothing like my mom."

"If they wanted you to be your mom, I'm sure they could've killed you or something. I don't know, aren't their gems where they are?"

"Oh wow, thanks Connie." Steven replied bitterly. "Now I'll have nightmares about them giving up on me and brutally murdering me."

Connie snorted and gave him a hug. "Steven, can I have my glasses back? I can't– wait a minute, you have my glasses! You look fabulous!"

"I do?" Steven questioned. "Wait, you can see me?"

"I– I can! I can see!"

"But how?" Steven took off the spectacles and handed them back to their owner, who grabbed them and placed them on the bridge of her straight nose. 

"The only thing I did while you wore them was drink this juice." Connie pointed out.

Steven quirked an eyebrow. "The durian? Do you think that's magical?"

"Well, it seemed to heal my eyesight, and that cut I got earlier! But it can't be, since you drank it beforehand, and the scab on your knee's still not fully healed."

"So, what happened to it before I gave it to you and after I tasted it?" Steven wondered.

"Your spit!"

"My spit?"

"It healed me, didn't it?" Connie commented, popping the lenses out of her frames.

"It did." Steven smiled. "I have healing spit!"

"So you are magical, Steven."

Steven frowned. "It would've been nice to know this last week."

"Well, better late than never, huh?"

"Yeah." Steven managed with a sigh.

"And Steven?"

His eyes met Connie's, and she grabbed his hand. "Maybe the gems took you in because of your mom, but they love you because you're you."

Steven smiled. "Thanks, Connie. You're the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the introduction season, similar to Season 1B in the original show! The next arc should come out by Valentines' Day, or hopefully before! Disclaimer: I'm trying to have a few chapters done of Season 1B, so it'll more likely come out in March or April. It takes me a month to write a chapter, I'm really slow for some reason.


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